# Doper Food Confessions **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998 "2008-09-04T15:34:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/101 "2008-09-05T20:38:57Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > I know I always bring this up in any thread having to do with weird food, but, I keep hoping that I’ll find a kindred spirit: I like my oatmeal savory, not sweet. I enjoy savory oatmeal, as well. Not the way you make it (I basically make it the way I make grits, with lots of butter and salt), but I like it nonetheless. I think I got the idea here on the Dope, perhaps even from you. 🙂 I still enjoy it with lots of brown sugar, too, so I guess I’m bi where this is concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/102 "2008-09-05T20:50:35Z")
I hesitate to post this, but peanut butter freaks will understand, I’m sure. I take a large spoon, dip out a large glob of creamy PB, poke a depression in it with my tongue, and fill the depression with honey. Pretty disgusting, but it sho’ is fine. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/103 "2008-09-05T20:55:49Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I hesitate to post this, but peanut butter freaks will understand, I’m sure. I take a large spoon, dip out a large glob of creamy PB, poke a depression in it with my tongue, and fill the depression with honey. Pretty disgusting, but it sho’ is fine. I now know what I’ll be doing when I get home from work. Thanks for the tip! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/104 "2008-09-05T21:11:39Z")
When I get prime rib with au jus in the little cup from Outback Steakhouse, I drink whatever I don’t use. I try to do this sneakily so the waiter doesn’t see me. I can’t be trusted with Ben and Jerry’s “Smores” ice cream. I will happily eat the entire container of the stuff in one sitting. “Hoover it up” is probably a more apt description. I put M&M’s in a cup, cover them with water up to about an inch or two above them, then stir up the whole thing and wait for the candy coating to melt into the water. Then I eat the whole thing with great pleasure. I love cookie dough way too much. I usually just eat the store-bought stuff, but once a year (on New Year’s Eve–it’s become a tradition) I allow myself the luxury of mixing up a whole batch of Toll House cookie dough, planting myself on the couch in front of a good movie, and scarfing it down until I can’t look at it anymore. Whatever’s left I make cookies out of (the spouse doesn’t mind, and happily eats the cookies–he doesn’t like the dough). I like McDonald’s, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Especially their fries. I don’t eat them much anymore, but they’re always a treat when I do. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/105 "2008-09-05T21:11:46Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > I could eat an entire box of 'Nilla wafers dipped in almost any kind of icing out of a can. Oh jeez. I get ill at the thought of Nilla wafers in pudding, which I always have to bypass at the salad buffet, but I never thought about icing before. Now that’s all I can think about. > [@winterhawk11](#): > > When I get prime rib with au jus in the little cup from Outback Steakhouse, I drink whatever I don’t use. I try to do this sneakily so the waiter doesn’t see me. Same! I adore the saltiness. I’ll also bite the end off a fry and let it sit in the jus to soak up as much as possible before munching down. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/106 "2008-09-05T22:42:13Z")
I learned this from my father. Strictly for Saturday mornings. Once or twice a year. You need a loaf of Wonder TM bread, peanut butter (preferably Skippy), butter, coffee, sugar, and a toaster oven. Put 2 slices bread in toaster. When almost done, open toaster, slather butter on bread, resume toasting until butter is melted and bread is dark. Pour black coffee into wide mug, heap 4 - 5 tablespoons sugar into coffee, stir. Take bread out of toaster, layer on thick peanut butter. Cut bread in half, length-wise, dunk in coffee. Repeat until half the loaf is gone. Or more. ---
**Author:** ![erleichda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4da419/32.png) [@erleichda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erleichda)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/107 "2008-09-06T01:07:43Z")
My favorite thing in the world is bleu cheese salad dressing, eaten by the spoonful. Better than ice cream! I also like buttered cinnamon toast with a layer of cottage cheese spread over the top. Delicious! My motto: everything is better with cheese!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/108 "2008-09-06T06:51:16Z")
I drink the brine once I’ve emptied the jar of green olives. The best grilled cheese I ever had was when I lived in a dorm and had to use my iron to make them. I occasionally drink water with baking soda dissolved in it. Not because of heartburn, but because I like the taste. The best hamburgers I made were from meat that had gone mildly funky-smelling and turning grey-brown before I had the chance to use it. Love Vegemite, never been to Oz. Can’t find it for sale anywhere.☹ My favorite way to consume hummus is with a spoon. ---
**Author:** ![Anduinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Anduinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduinel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/109 "2008-09-06T07:49:15Z")
I will go to the local Korean place and order an entree just to get the little side dish of tiny, dried fish. There’s something about consuming several animals – eyes, bones, brains and all – in one bite that’s mildly unsettling and hugely satisfying. I eat sauerkraut out of the jar by the forkful. It’s comfort food. A packet of shrimp-flavored ramen noodles – season packet and all – boiled in Campbell’s Cream of Shrimp soup is surprisingly tasty. ---
**Author:** ![ShermanAter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ShermanAter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShermanAter)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/110 "2008-09-06T07:51:47Z")
> [@N.Sane](#): > > Non-crunchy non-chunky peanut butter? Sacrilege! Of course, I also think the thought of peanut butter & mayo is revolting, so there you go. I am a little curious, but definitely not curious enough to go buy a jar of smooth peanut butter. Word. Give me SuperChunk or give me none! ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/111 "2008-09-07T00:04:47Z")
> [@3acresandatruck](#): > > That sounds amazingly yummy! Here’s a pasta sauce you might like: quickly sauté some sardines, minced garlic, and fresh minced parsley in olive oil and dump it over just-cooked linguine. I use a couple small sardines, a head of garlic and a quarter cup of parsley, but adjust to suit yourself. A tablespoon of red wine in the sauce is nice, too. Not only is it good, but it actually made my nephew say something like “you’re not going to _EAT_ that, are you!?” That’s actually the base for my version of pasta puttanesca. Now add chopped green and black olives, peeled tomatoes, and red pepper! I’m going to be making it for an upcoming dinner party, but I have to leave out the anchovies for the vegetarians. Boo! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/112 "2008-09-07T00:16:20Z")
I like my microwave popcorn just a wee burnt. Not completely blackened, mind you, just a little dark. Because microwave popcorn is so fucking bland. (And I thought everyone did the Frosty/Fry thing? My friends and I were all talking about that at work a while back) ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Queen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Goblin\_Queen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Queen)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/113 "2008-09-07T01:28:39Z")
Over the summer I was often too lazy to make anything for lunch, so I would eat a cold hot dog or two. Hey, eating interrupted my reading/goofing around on the computer time! Oreos are really crack. But sometimes you can’t get crack. So occasionally I have a taste for the off-brand chocolate sandwich cookies. They can’t be dipped in milk, and they’re better when they’re slightly stale. When people I know find out about this they look at me funny. Those lunchmeat slices with little bits of cheese in them are lovely salty goodness and I would buy them all the time if they weren’t so expensive and fattening. Sometimes I will take a slice of white bread, spread it thickly with peanut butter, draw squiggles in the peanut butter, fill the squiggles with chocolate syrup (Hershey’s!) and eat this concoction. It tastes like budget evil. I think that’s all for now… ---
**Author:** ![Momofgirls](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/momofgirls/32/21798_2.png) [@Momofgirls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Momofgirls)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/114 "2008-09-07T02:11:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I like my microwave popcorn just a wee burnt. Not completely blackened, mind you, just a little dark. Because microwave popcorn is so fucking bland. That’s why I mix mine with either M&Ms or chocolate-covered raisins! ---
**Author:** ![Gorgonzola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@Gorgonzola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgonzola)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/115 "2008-09-07T03:16:58Z")
I have cooked and eaten over a dozen of the [Pioneer Woman](http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/)’s recipes (read a few and you’ll see why this qualifies as a confession – then make a few and you’ll really understand). I crave the type of pickled herring known as “rollmops” on occasion. I make myself salads with vinaigrettes heavy on the vinegar and then drink the leftover vinegar brine when the salad is gone. For a while I did this so frequently that my dentist issued a warning about the impact of acid on dental enamel. I love to drink heavy cream straight up, though for _really_ heavy cream I need to use a spoon. Can’t keep stuff like that around or I’d be dead already. Same with almond-stuffed manzanilla olives, or canned macadamia nuts. Sometimes I cook roast beef for the sole purpose of having a delivery vehicle for horseradish. ---
**Author:** ![Bi-Polar\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@Bi-Polar\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bi-Polar_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/116 "2008-09-07T04:39:31Z")
Anyone else discovered the joy of opening the envelope of Chicken Shake-n-Bake and eating it dry from the envelope? It’s got to be the Chicken flavor though–the pork doesn’t have enough spices, and the (hopefully long dead) barbeque flavor was just awful. I like to take apart as many Oreo Double Stuff cookies as I can, slowly peel the “stuff” off of them and then put all the “stuff” between two cookies to make “Oreo outrageous stuff” cookies. Buttered toast with Lawry’s seasoning salt is part of my nutritious breakfast. Popcorn with nutritional yeast is a long time favorite of Mrs. Guy–and it ain’t half bad. A-1 sauce on tuna sandwiches–have hidden this one since I was a kid–but I will not hide any longer–join me in my sandwichy goodness!!! Nobody ever wants to come over to my place for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/117 "2008-09-07T05:20:12Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Woodhouse] I don’t buy cookie dough. I make it from scratch; then I eat it. In the summer when it’s hot, I’ve been known to not bake a single pan of cookies from a batch of dough. I do share with the kids. Some of it anyway. [/QUOTE] Yes! Chocolate chip cookie dough is a long-standing family joke. I can only think of a few times when we actually baked any. It has to be the real Toll House recipe, no revisionist stuff with nuts or anything, then it’s eaten with a spoon out a large, wide-mouthed jar kept in the fridge. I’m pretty indifferent to sweets but every Christmas my splurge is to make a jar of cookie dough. That sounds way more pathetic than it really is. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/118 "2008-09-07T05:30:46Z")
> [@Bacon\_Salt](#): > > The best hamburgers I made were from meat that had gone mildly funky-smelling and turning grey-brown before I had the chance to use it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/119 "2008-09-07T05:36:11Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > I will mix nearly any kind of diet soft drink or juice with vodka, the more revolting (to others) being prune juice or diet root beer. I’ve done that. A & W diet root beer and vodka. Isn’t that the beauty of vodka? It goes with everything. This is really embarrassing, but… I have drunk rye whiskey with chocolate milk. More than once. It tastes kind of like cheap Bailey’s. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/120 "2008-09-07T13:19:42Z")
Gorgonzola, you a Pioneer Woman zealot also? I have her site open in the tab next to SD at this very moment. Have you made the apple dumplings yet? _dies_ For the rest of you all, let me just mention that two, I think, sticks of butter are involved and a half a can of Mountain Dew. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998.md?page=7)