# Doper Gods High Council **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739 "2004-12-08T14:08:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/1 "2004-12-08T14:08:46Z")
After reading the semi-hijack in my [pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290519), I realized we have more than a few Gods and Goddesses here at the SDMB. Given the state of the world today, as **Odinoneeye** pointed out, we’ve been slacking. I figured I’d call a Doper God High Council and we’d sort things out. As for you mortals, we’ll need some sacrifices. Ox thighs, doves, a virgin or two (if you can find one around here, which I seriously doubt) and some really good pizza ought to do. And don’t forget the drinks. Wine, mead, and some aquavit for the Norse pantheon. And while you’re at it, clean the place up, wouldya? We’re _Gods_ for, um, God’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/2 "2004-12-08T14:19:23Z")
Well **Athena** we need to be slightly discreet as well, don’t forget that! I caught some underlings the other day practicing [Sparagmos](http://www.nephelidia.com/blog/images/sparagmos.html) in the lower court yard in my name…I had to stop them and correct their evil ways with a cask of wine and some cheese. So please folks take care with rites and rituals…we don’t want to upset the upper echelon… ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/3 "2004-12-08T14:25:04Z")
Discreet? When was a Greek God(dess) ever known to be discreet? I ain’t startin’ now, I’ll tell you that much. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/4 "2004-12-08T14:41:40Z")
About time we straightened out these foolish mortals! ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/5 "2004-12-08T14:55:34Z")
Fine…you know what?..Just Fine! I’ll pull of of my Bacchae out of the Bacchanalia they have been waiting to attend all year…They’ll be pissed but I’ll do it. Do I hear thunder? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/6 "2004-12-08T15:06:52Z")
Look…I did my part to keep the mortals in line. Or doesn’t anybody remember Midas anymore? I know they do…I see temples with his name on them in every town! By the way…we decided at the last committee meeting to switch from wine to [single-malt scotch](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5573322#post5573322). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/7 "2004-12-08T15:14:36Z")
(How long can the Gods keep this up with no one to worship them?) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/8 "2004-12-08T15:21:59Z")
FOOLISH MORTAL! My boy Dionysus has worshippers everywhere! Every morning-after, you hear his devotees chanting to the gods. ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/9 "2004-12-08T15:43:27Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > …I had to stop them and correct their evil ways with a cask of wine and some cheese… I was having my evil way with a cask of wine and a pepperoni stick last night when my wife walked in on us. Boy, was my face red. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/10 "2004-12-08T15:51:29Z")
> [@MrFantsyPants](#): > > I was having my evil way with a cask of wine and a pepperoni stick last night when my wife walked in on us. Boy, was my face red. You see…you see what happens when we let the mortals out without a leash. Imagine I had given them the gift of free association - or free thought for that matter! LOL! Now that would have been funny! Now let the Pepperoni alone and give Uncle Bacchus the KY. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/11 "2004-12-08T16:31:20Z")
Nobody worships me anymore. _pout_ You’d think the goddess of freaking LOVE would get some sacrifices, at least, but nooooo… _hmmph_ Hey, **Athena**? Cuppa ambrosia, over at Mt. Olympus sometime? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/12 "2004-12-08T16:36:48Z")
It’s possible my virginity may have grown back by now … is that acceptable? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/13 "2004-12-08T16:39:56Z")
Yup. And hey, I’ll go find my son Cupid and get him to find a nice target for you… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/14 "2004-12-08T17:34:40Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Nobody worships me anymore. _pout_ You’d think the goddess of freaking LOVE would get some sacrifices, at least, but nooooo… _hmmph_ > > Hey, **Athena**? Cuppa ambrosia, over at Mt. Olympus sometime? NOBODY sacrifices anymore. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice set of dove entrails show up in the mail. I’d love to join you for that cup of ambrosia. Maybe we can find a mortal or two to torment while we’re at it. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/15 "2004-12-08T17:47:17Z")
Sure thing, love. I’ve got the arrows, you pick the target. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/16 "2004-12-08T17:50:48Z")
Hey, I make the proper sacrifices. They just happen to be to Odin. Nine animals (one of which must be a man) every night for nine nights, once a year. Each one hanged from a mighty limb, and stuck with a spear. I also try to make a sacrific of nine animals for every village that I conquer, but sometimes it can be tricky to find a living man. For this sacrifice to the Gallows Master he has granted my berserkers, as well as myself with strength and cunning. Praise to the All Father! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/17 "2004-12-08T18:41:08Z")
I’ll vouch for **Regallag** ’s sacrifices. He did them alright…he even sacrificed The Goat! :eek: It worked out ok. Turns out we had gotten Tangrissnir mixed in with the last herd from Harry’s, and he was good as new the next day. Good thing, too, because we have a ton of initiations to do! ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/18 "2004-12-08T18:49:54Z")
Will the nectar of the Gods do? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/19 "2004-12-08T18:58:01Z")
What about those of us who provide the background for the Solar One? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739/20 "2004-12-08T19:14:54Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > NOBODY sacrifices anymore. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice set of dove entrails show up in the mail. I’d love to join you for that cup of ambrosia. Maybe we can find a mortal or two to torment while we’re at it. Hail to Thee, Oh Athenia with the nifty orbs. Please spare Nashville & the surrounding area! We hath raised a fane to thee! [SEE?](http://www.nashville.gov/parthenon/index.htm) And [YOU’VE NEVER LOOKED BETTER!](http://www.nashville.gov/parthenon/Athena.htm) You lost a little weight, didn’t you? Grovel-grovel. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-gods-high-council/278739.md?page=2)