# Doper last will and testament - You do one too! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2004, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314 "2004-04-16T04:38:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/41 "2004-04-19T01:07:26Z")
Isn’t this just a really roundabout way of bragging about the cool shit we have? 😃 (I drive a '76 Cutlass. Big Van?) I leave my collection of movies, my Peavey Delta Blues, my custom Cherry Sunburst Statocaster, my Epiphone Black Beauty, my music collection, including the entire works of The Beatles in a big heap in Cafe Society for everyone to fight over. I leave my fictitious Ford Econoline blocking **No Clue Boy’s** driveway. I leave my Marlin Model 200 .410 and Mossberg Maverick 88 Security with custom pistol grip to **Desert Geezer** , for protection. I leave all of my pointless user motto threads to **Sanguine Spider**. I leave a non functioning remote control to **Really Not All That Bright**. I leave my copy of Carole Lombard’s 1946 feature _Little Fortunes_ to **Eve**. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/42 "2004-04-19T01:17:32Z")
**Blonde** , I’ll take the cats. If I don’t have room in my apartment I’ll give my tenants downstairs notice and move into the bigger part of the house. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/43 "2004-04-19T02:36:21Z")
All my hair products I leave to **Blonde**. **NoClueBoy** can have my Fender Strat, because his location reminds me of the Darkness video. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/44 "2004-04-19T03:23:12Z")
> [@BellaDellaItalia](#): > > All my hair products I leave to **Blonde**. > > **NoClueBoy** can have my Fender Strat, because his location reminds me of the Darkness video. Ooooh! SWEET! 🙂 ## I hope you die soon. Wait. I mean… well, um… if you HAVE to go, you know… Ah, man. **Ilsa** , I hadn’t really thought about it like that, as about half of what I bequeathed was fictitious, but yeah, I guess you learn a little bit about fellow Doper’s tastes after a while. So, not really bragging, per se… more like a “Ooh, I bet you would like this too!” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/45 "2004-04-19T03:25:06Z")
I’m leaving the following to the following: **NoClueBoy** gets the tarot cards and a guide to interpreting same. **Eve** gets my (size 6) burgundy sequined cocktail dress with instructions to wear it somewhere posh. **ShirleyUjest** gets half the books, and has first choice on which half **RealityChuck** gets the rest of the books **RueDeDay** gets all the shit in the garage (in fact, he can have it now, if he’ll come and get it all) **Sauron** and **Aries28** get the childproof lock from my bedroom door **Dinsdale** gets all the perennials from the garden, except the roses, which my ashes will be under - please dig gently **dropzone** gets my supersecret chocolate chip cookie recipe Hmm, what’s left? A huge pile of CDs, a mastiff, two rats, three cats and a half empty tin of Ginger Altoids. Oh, and a fuzzy cucumber from the crisper drawer. Any takers? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/46 "2004-04-19T12:34:59Z")
[QUOTE=Ilsa, I hadn’t really thought about it like that, as about half of what I bequeathed was fictitious, but yeah, I guess you learn a little bit about fellow Doper’s tastes after a while. So, not really bragging, per se… more like a “Ooh, I bet you would like this too!” [/QUOTE] Okay. 😉 Then you can have both the guitars and the amp. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/47 "2004-05-12T18:40:26Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > **Corner Case** : a round room. If it has padded walls, I’ll pass. I’m not gonna fall for That again! > [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Jaade gets my boots. Not yet, though. I need them for the traction! You can leave your hat on. May you go out in a Blaze of glory. I _still_ don’t know my Trek Doper friends well enough (but I’m try’in) to distribute items. So, I have Franklin Mint Star Trek pewter models and plastic models. About 300 videos, 300 hard backs and 3000 soft cover books (predominantly science fiction), and a custom-made TNG-engineering costume (sadly too small for my current girth) with belt, phaser, and tricorder. The only logical thing to do is - a fight to the death! May the games begin… da de Da Da Da Da Da de Da de da. … da de Da Da Da Da Da de Da DE de. … [sub]How do you people find these threads so quickly so that you can respond in a reasonable amount of time?![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/48 "2004-05-12T19:15:18Z")
To ansir yer last kwestshun… we are particularly clever hyperintelligent pandimensional being, don’t ya know! Thanks for someone finally getting my Huey Long ref, btw. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314/49 "2004-05-12T20:04:18Z")
Aw, man. I’m not popular enough yet. Uhh… I’d leave my 6,000+ comic books to be divided up between **Bosda** and **DocCathode**. **Ilsa** wouldn’t want _my_ DVD collection, so I’ll have to send that over to **Draelin** , who circumstantial evidence suggests would enjoy them… Complete-to-date tapes of this season of Smallville and Angel… **pepperlandgirl**? Then there’s the massive collection of RPG books and the pewter miniatures I’ve painstakingly painted myself… anybody? So far, that’s real stuff. I’ll have to think of some clever fictional items. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-last-will-and-testament-you-do-one-too/240314.md?page=2)