# Doper Men - How important are good cooking skills in a potential girlfriend or wife? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255 "2005-10-28T03:31:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/21 "2005-10-28T14:23:02Z")
I’m used to being “the cook”. If she can cook, too, we could alternate, that would be fine, could definitely be fun. Don’t know about actually cooking the same meal together, I tend to occupy the space when I’m in it, whirling around and snatching something from the fridge, backing up without looking with a 450° pyrex dish in my hot-padded hands, tossing empty eggshells or bean strings at the garbage. Anyone entering the kitchen when I’m cooking stands a good chance of being trampled, scalded, or pelted 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/22 "2005-10-28T14:27:05Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The ability to cook is a basic survival skill, not so much in the lost in the woods sense, but the modern day living sense. Not possessing this skill would have me question how prepared this person is for life. > > I’m not talking about everyone has to be a chef, but be able to take food from the fridge and make a basic meal, which taste decent, seems to be a reasonable requirement. There will be times for most of us when restaurants are not practical (and expensive), and the other person won’t have the time to cook. > > So yes, I wouldn’t consider someone who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) cook, but this doesn’t mean they must cook everyday, or even often, as i do enjoy it myself. Ditto. Yeah, i’m feeling lazy today, besides this said exactly what I was going to. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/23 "2005-10-28T14:31:36Z")
My wife’s mother was a… well, it’s easier to say that what she _wasn’t_ was a cook. She never taught her daughter to make anything, and the descriptions of some of the things she served her family are just retch-making. My wife says she had to ask her boyfriend’s mother how to boil water. So she came into the marriage without much cooking skill. I taught her what I know, and she picked up some things on her own. Now she’s a fine cook. Nothing fancy, but she makes good, tasty food. We take turns cooking. It wasn’t a dealbreaker by any stretch. All the other things about her were so nice, it didn’t matter. Cooking is something you can teach another person; being marriageable is something you already have to have in abundance. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/24 "2005-10-28T14:52:49Z")
It wasn’t really a factor in marrying my wife. I **am** a good cook, so it didn’t matter if she wasn’t. As it turns out, she is a better cook than I am! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/25 "2005-10-28T15:05:32Z")
Chalk me up as another who considers above average cooking skills a non requirement for an S.O. I’m a pretty enthusiastic and competent cook myself and what’s more important to me in a partner is a high level of appreciation for good food, the work and creative skills that goes into making it and especially a healthy level of enthusiasm for the ritual around the meal and all it entails. Meals are about coming together of friends and family and celebrating and sharing that moment of mutual appreciation. The fact that my partner is not enthused about a meal together every day would bother me more than whether or not she could cook well herself. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/26 "2005-10-28T15:07:31Z")
My husband can’t cook. Never learned, has no interest in doing so, is perfectly capable of feeding himself without cooking. On the other hand, I _like_ to cook. Therefore, I do all the cooking. I also do the dishes, as the dishes are in my kitchen and I have Ideas about how my kitchen should be. Of course, in return, he takes care of the vacuuming and the catbox (both of which I despise). Whether or not someone can cook never really occured to me as a plus or minus point. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/27 "2005-10-28T15:15:26Z")
As a lover of food, it’s a pretty big deal to me. I can cook fairly well, but I’d hate to have to cook every night. I’m also not a fan of takeout - cooking is a huge part of home in my mind. Someone that was willing to subsist on MREs, however tasty, would just be a constant frustration to me, the same as if I were with someone that didn’t read. It doesn’t have to be complicated, gourmet, or anything fancy- but you should know how to make 1. a pasta dinner 2. a simple stew 3. at least a couple types of soup 4. a fried item (chicken preferably) That said, I lucked out and married a fantastic cook. And, with one child or another always underfoot, cooking suppers is very much ‘couple’ time for us- it’s just one more experience we get to share. Quite often, our weekend activity is nothing more exotic than searching for, and preparing, a new recipe. I’d hate to go without that. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/28 "2005-10-28T15:18:39Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Well, I love cooking, but if someone else says “I can’t cook at all,” then that kind of speaks to me of someone who isn’t self sufficient. > [@kanicbird](#): > > The ability to cook is a basic survival skill, not so much in the lost in the woods sense, but the modern day living sense. Not possessing this skill would have me question how prepared this person is for life. I don’t get this: people who can’t cook obviously still manage to feed themselves, so how are they not self-sufficient? Or lacking life-preparedness? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/29 "2005-10-28T15:35:32Z")
Good thread, **Astro**. I’ve always wondered this very same thing. Sadly, I’m now finding out I wouldn’t be a very good catch, based on the responses here. It’s not that I _can’t_ cook, heck, I won an award in high school for cooking, I just don’t enjoy food that much. So, I can make you whatever you’d like, but you’ll be eating it whilst watching me eat my turkey sandwich. Color me sadder but wiser ☹ slinks away to feed her 15 cats ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/30 "2005-10-28T15:51:29Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’ve got to go to the grocery store with him, get his pantry a bit better stocked. I don’t mind cooking, but I’ve got to have one or two ingredients to start with, yanno? Is this common for women to do? Maybe I was just married too long, but I would be embarrassed if a woman came to my place and started cooking meals for me. I’m sure I’d get over it, of course. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/31 "2005-10-28T16:00:16Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > Is this common for women to do? Maybe I was just married too long, but I would be embarrassed if a woman came to my place and started cooking meals for me. I’m sure I’d get over it, of course. Hm, yeah, I guess that is a little weird. Oh well, both of us are a little weird, so it’s okay. 😉 Here’s the situation – neither of us particularly enjoys cooking, but I’m basically a better cook than him. The other big factor is where we live – I’m in Philly, he lives in serious boonies. Thus, when we’re down here, we eat out (“You want sushi? Which of the three sushi places within five minutes of here do you want to go to?”), and when we’re there, we eat in. Since ordinarily I’d be doing half the cooking – the half when we were here – I have no problems doing my half of the cooking when I’m up there. Esp. since his idea of cooking dinner is scrapple, with a nice side of broccoli and cheese. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/32 "2005-10-28T16:10:34Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Esp. since his idea of cooking dinner is scrapple, with a nice side of broccoli and cheese. Seriously. You left me for this scrapple eating man! He must be a wizard in other respects. 😉 Cries just a little ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/33 "2005-10-28T16:21:25Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You left me for this scrapple eating man! It was actually homemade venison scrapple that he and his pals made – does that make it better or worse? Hey, you had a much better handle on the hooking-up-the-DVD-player thing… ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/34 "2005-10-28T16:22:47Z")
What is scrapple? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/35 "2005-10-28T16:24:22Z")
Pennsylvania Dutch dish, usually served at breakfast – ground meat (usually pork) and cornmeal, with seasonings – sliced and fried. Yeah, it’s an aquired taste. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/36 "2005-10-28T17:08:21Z")
In all honesty I’m a darn good cook myself, used to be a chef, so if I were the only one cooking it would not bother me in the least. And for all you ladies who think that sharing a kitchen and cooking a meal together can be romantic, I confess that I am a real pain in the ass to cook with. Sorry. But I am real handy and love giving backrubs! ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/37 "2005-10-28T19:09:04Z")
My wife managed to ruin Kraft Dinner while trying to make me a “meal” while we were dating. Fortunately for her, :D, I can cook, and I enjoy cooking. I’ve been teaching her to cook ever since, the same way I learned to cook: I have her in the kitchen while I’m cooking, and I get her to help with various tasks. She’s not as adventurous in the kitchen as I am, but at least she can feed herself if I’m sick or traveling. So, cooking skills weren’t important to me. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/38 "2005-10-28T19:24:16Z")
The paradox as I see it. . . As a guy who loves to cook, I wouldn’t consider it a requirement because I already do it. But, if I didn’t love to cook, then I don’t think I’d care if she cooked. . .because if I cared about cooking (the royal Cooking, here) then I’d already do it. I think the other option would be to be an outdated guy who thinks, “gotta find me a wife to cook and clean for me”. Can’t imagine you’d get many hands raised for that one. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/39 "2005-10-28T20:21:21Z")
I’m a very accomplished cook, who wishes she had someone to cook for once and a while. My ex would never let me because he has some demented catholic guilt thing, and my cooking for him brought it out. One of my very traditional girlfriends lives in fear that her son is going to arrive home one day with his chosen wife, and wife to be is going to announce that she can’t cook. Really - the woman has nightmares about it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255/40 "2005-10-28T20:38:28Z")
Doesn’t matter to me. I love to cook. I’m a better cook than almost every girlfriend I’ve ever had. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-men-how-important-are-good-cooking-skills-in-a-potential-girlfriend-or-wife/328255.md?page=3)