# Doper parents, can you tell me why it feels good to be a parent?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-parents-can-you-tell-me-why-it-feels-good-to-be-a-parent/335304>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 12, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-parents-can-you-tell-me-why-it-feels-good-to-be-a-parent/335304 "2005-12-12T20:38:08Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 55

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**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-parents-can-you-tell-me-why-it-feels-good-to-be-a-parent/335304/55 "2005-12-15T06:50:38Z")

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> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> But then again, what if the kid is genetaically predisposed to be a major PITA (Pain In The Ass?). What if the kid has troubles, bad health, ADD? What if she combines every characterflaw in your greater familytree into one truly obnoxious personality? Quite often kids from the same parents turn out completely different. Yet, they were raised the same.
> 
> All these stories make me think: " Sure, having _great_, cheerful, sweet, intelligent, loving kids is great. But what if you have just an ordinary human being? "

Sophie _is_ an ordinary human being. She’s just got a good press agent. 😉

Seriously, though, I did note that _health_ is one of the external factors that determine how you enjoy/experience parenthood. I am quite positive my words would be quite different, with the same child, if she had a history of illness (Sophie has only been sick enough to be taken to the doctor once in her life). So things like bad health, ADD, etc… I’m quite unqualified to answer. I’d love to say “Oh, it will be the same”, but I really _can’t_… so I won’t.

However, I am positive that a large part of Sophie’s personality comes as a direct result of the decisions and actions her mother and I have made over the past 5 years. When I was younger, I was of the mindset of “My kid is going to be smart! I’m going to read them Shakespeare while they are nursing, play Mozart every night as they fall asleep, and have them knowing the Krebs cycle by the time they’re five!” :smack: :wally

Wrong. The greatest gift we can give Sophie, the most important thing we can do to make sure that she has a productive and happy adulthood, is to make sure she is _well-adjusted_ - what good is brilliance if it’s accompanied by neurosis? Everything we do, from the sterner-than-usual discipline, to the constant declarations of love and respect, to the regular schedule that is her daily life, is with that goal in mind.

So, there’s a lot of love, security, and stability in Sophie’s life, and it has made a loving, stable, and secure child. It is communicated constantly to her, both in our words

“Sophie, we love you so much.”  
“Yes, Mommy. I love you too - you’re the best mommy ever!”  
“Awwww” _giving each other hugs_ “Sophie, you’re such a great child.”  
“Thanks, Mommy.”

and our actions - she is cuddled, read-to, kissed, hugged, talked-to, asked-of (“Sophie, what did you think of the movie?”), and is a full participant in our lives, not just “the kid”, but Sophie, our daughter.

So, that’s how you deal with the “bad ones” - with love, discipline, respect, encouragement, and participation - exactly as you deal with the “good ones.”

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