Well, my dear father has created the measurment known as a Moose. As in; “I’ve got to piss like a-”
In common parleance, Double Moose and Triple Moose have been used.
I myself humbly suggest the Nervous Twitch factor. For example; I write MST3k/Lion King crossover slashfic. No, I don’t, really. But the reaction you just experienced had a Twitch Factor between 1.8 and 3.1. You see?
Shade, does this mean that those of us who are neither Christians nor atheists are off the scale?
Laughing Lagomorph, why not shorten duckquackecho and call it a quacho? I’d pronounce it “kwacko.” Why do I find that so funny?
Anyway, this isn’t specifically SDMB-related, but perhaps a millipicture is worth exactly one word?
The unit for entertainment value of songs and scripts could be the Fenris, or milli-Fenris, for ease of measuring.
I’m actually not sure about the unit Scylla: could we convert that to milli-shakespeares or to Fenris?
I’d like a unit of information content of posts. Don’t know the name, though. (possibly the Cecil?)
I KNOW! I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of a better way. Anyone who can improve on this system is welcome to, but if we’re going to need more axes. IF you know anything about quaternions be my guest!
Well, we could call it a Kal.
Oh, and by the way, Kal:
SMACK!!!
Interesting. In one area of the country, I’ve heard it refered to as a “Russian Racehorse” as in, I’ve got to piss like a Russian Racehorse. At least that’s how I’ve taken it. It could also be a rushin’ racehorse, too. 
Is there a one to one equivilency between mooses and racing horses?
I do believe that the Cecil deserves to be a unit of measurement. Basic meaning would refer to a perfect union of knowlege and wisdom.
For example, a Straight Dope book would be rated at 1 Cecil. By comparison, say, a Bathroom Reader could be pegged at a deciCecil and one of the Feldman books at a milliCecil. Most reading material will be rated in small fractions of a Cecil, but there are some books that get facts wrong, and some that have whatever the opposite of wisdom is, and thus venture into negative Cecil territory.
A similar system could be applied to movies, comic books, plays, and TV shows (a depressing number of minus Cecil ratings there).
The only possible challenge to the Cecil would come from the fabled Junior Woodchucks Handbook, containing all possible knowledge. An argument could be made that it contains an equal amount of wisdom as well. And it is already written down, whereas the Straight Dope book series is a work in progress.
On the other hand, I believe no further additions have been made to the JWH since the late 1960s, so I’ll leave detailed examination of the subject to those who are deeper students of the Barks Canon.
Not a Dope-specific unit, but I always liked this one: the glug, a unit of liquid measure. I first encountered it at a golf course to be used in adding pesticides and fertilizer to spray trucks. To add “two glugs” of something, you take the lid off and turn the container completely upside down until it glugs twice. This also works for cooking.
A guy I knew in college called a lot of anything “a load.” If there was more of it, it was “a buttload.” Even more of whatever it was was “a stload," and more than humans can logically fathom of whatever that was was "a fkload.” It’s amazing how, after a while, he could use one of the four terms and somehow you had some idea of how much stuff he was talking about.
A very important unit is the millispoofe.
One millispoofe is defined as that amount of information that is just sufficient to trigger an involuntary response that attempts to reject said information – literally ‘too much to handle’.
Because of differences in tolerance for information, a ‘Doper Information Sensitivity Threshold’, or DIST can be assigned to each person on a message board. A person’s DIST typically increases in proportion to the frequency and amplitude (in millispoofes) of further information received according to the following equation:
D = I.f.k
Where D = increase in DIST, I = amplitude of information in millispoofes, f = frequency of information and k = constant of prose quality.
Examples:
Normal faecal matter typically rates 20 to 100 mS, depending on color, texture, odour, etc.
Violently expelled faecal matter may rate up to 400 mS, depending upon location and spray pattern.
Cross-species exposure could push the amplitude up to around 700 mS. This might be the case for an incontinent dachshund in your lap, for instance.
If there’s a toothbrush involved, then the 1 spoofe boundary may well be reached.
It should be noted that f, I and k are all well above average on the Straight Dope, so assuming that a non-doper may have a comparable DIST to yourself may be a gross overestimation.
Again, not a doper measure, but I think there’s something terribly evocative about a knob of butter (a knob is equivalent to 0.01 nanoKingdoms).
Toilet humour should be measured on the Lieu scale.
A particularly wordy and unnecessarily confusing post might register eight or nine Hinks.
Yep, that would be handy.
I’ve always been fond of the Alp as a measure of faith, as it was used in Good Omens.
I can’t raise more than .01 microAlps, but I know people who can get a good full centiAlp when the mood strikes them.
Only Adam Young could score an Everest, of course.
I think it was the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, wasn’t it?
I’d like to nominate one more book to challenge the Cecil: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. After all, what book could sum Earth in two words (“Mostly Harmless”)?
And the measure of greatness of song-parody lyrics? The welby, of course. 
A friend of mine coined “fuckload” as the group name for prostitutes. A gaggle of geese, a fuckload of prostitutes.
Speaking of songs, the measure of a song cover’s quality should be in Shatners or Shats (which seems appropriate in so many ways.)
“The Jack Webb cover of Try a Little Tendernessis a .85 Shat.”
Shatner’s cover of Mr. Tambourine Man is the ultimate, a 1 on the Shat scale. His Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is a .99.
Man. Kind of cool to do the occasional vanity search and find myself referenced.
Thanks Sunspace!
My contribution: The Rue scale measures the likelihood of a post being hijacked. It’s a complicated formula based on the content of the post, the number of views, and the amount of time it takes me, Fairy Chat Mom, and Exgineer to post something of our own in that thread. The actual number is typically less than 30 seconds.
A long time ago, I postulated the existence of the Monty-Polycarp continuum to measure a dopers reaction to potential trolls/sockpuppets. Needless to say, Monty took exception. 
Nahh - kill it, its been done to death…
::d&r::
Grim