# Doper Talent Show! Sign up here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754 "2004-04-29T22:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/101 "2004-04-30T20:03:11Z")
> [@Salem](#): > > Are we wearing anything else or just the sequins? > > Maybe I better get the Epilady out just in case… Your call – but I’m envisioning some kind of segue with **plnnr** in his leather jock, so you may not want to be _too_ overdressed. I did notice some nice chartreuse feather boas the last time I was in Wardrobe… ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/102 "2004-04-30T20:16:59Z")
> [@Salem](#): > > Are we wearing anything else or just the sequins? Hmmm … sequined bras and undies or just three sequins apiece? I can’t decide. Maybe the casting directors should make that call. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/103 "2004-04-30T20:23:24Z")
No no no no no! Lots of sequins - I want lots of sequins. Sparkly and shiny in the spotlight. Whether you have them sewn to your clothes or glued to your skin is your call, but I want sequins! Many a flubbed lyric or missed dance step or mistimed punch line can be disguised with sequins! Amateurs, the lot of them!!! Sheesh… I’ll be in my trailer meditating. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/104 "2004-05-01T00:57:52Z")
That sttles it then. I will produce a gigantic, sequin-covered elephant as my finale for my magic act. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/105 "2004-05-01T01:18:00Z")
Shall I put sequins on my pointe shoes? I wonder if they make pink sequins… You know **twickster** , if we can find a song writer and some guitarists or something, we could have a dance called SEQUINS! And we can have sequin guitars. Oh this will be great. With all these shinny sequins, should we sell sunglasses at the door, so we don’t get sued from blindness? I think I have some old pok’emon glasses. If we all pitch in, we can raise lots of money for the cast party. ---
**Author:** ![SkyClad72724](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@SkyClad72724](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyClad72724)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/106 "2004-05-01T02:31:52Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > **SkyClad72724** : I’m confused, so help me out! I always thought your name was **ThePerfectChild[sup]TM[/sup]**. You’ve been called that for years on this board. > > Your first few posts here, I couldn’t figure out who you were. I hope the name change doesn’t mean you’ve slipped from the ranks of perfection. 😃 Well, I _am_ still **ThePerfectChild** at heart, however I have to be a rebel and seperate from my darling mother and become an idvidual. I’m a teenager frecryinoutloud! I have to make the lives of others just a bit more complicated!! 😃 heh heh heh But of course, my dear friend, none of this takes away from my ever-lasting perfection! ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/107 "2004-05-01T04:31:40Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > The real question is can you put your wedding ring up your nose? _Tentacle Monster stares at his right hand_ Nope, no wedding ring there. Wait, maybe I lost it up my nose? _inserts index finger up to first knuckle in left nostril, then right_ Mmm, nope, maybe it’s too far up. - finds a wire hanger, unbends it, then bends a small hook in the end\* Mmm… oooh… oh jesus, I think I touched sinus there. Not up there. Oh wait. I’m not married. In fact, I’ve been single for about two years now. _stares at his right hand again_ You are a filthy whore. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/108 "2004-05-01T07:22:49Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > **TheOnlySaneOne** - I’ve heard of your act. I’m intrigued. Incidentally, do you gargle George or Ira? Yes. I also juggle armadillos, if you’re still looking for someone… Mind you, its one armadillo, and its more of a catch it once or twice, but eh… ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/109 "2004-05-01T12:24:04Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Shall I put sequins on my pointe shoes? I wonder if they make pink sequins… You know **twickster** , if we can find a song writer and some guitarists or something, we could have a dance called SEQUINS! And we can have sequin guitars. Oh this will be great [diva] Somebody call my agent, right this second! **flamingbananas** is trying to _steal_ my spot closing the show! I am _NOT_ going to stand for this abuse! I am a _big star_, dammit! _ **A big star!** _ [/diva] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/110 "2004-05-01T14:35:17Z")
> [@TheOnlySaneOne](#): > > Yes. I also juggle armadillos, if you’re still looking for someone… > > Mind you, its one armadillo, and its more of a catch it once or twice, but eh… At last! someone who shares my artistic vision! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/111 "2004-05-01T14:56:55Z")
I’m glad to see everyone’s getting into the spirit of sequins. But I’m going to say _right here, right now_ that I will **not** tolerate cast bickering. **rockle** and **flamingbananas** , you two _will_ work out your differences or you’ll be assigned to sweep up sequins after the show. Includling the matinees!! Have I made myself perfectly clear?!? Incidentally, **twicks** , we have made it a condition of perfomance that animal acts must clean up after themselves, right? If we have to hire a pooper-scooper, that’ll cut into the cast party fund, and we can’t have that! All right then, have we any tenors? I looooove to listen to good tenors sing. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/112 "2004-05-01T16:18:28Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’m glad to see everyone’s getting into the spirit of sequins. But I’m going to say _right here, right now_ that I will **not** tolerate cast bickering. **rockle** and **flamingbananas** , you two _will_ work out your differences or you’ll be assigned to sweep up sequins after the show. Includling the matinees!! Have I made myself perfectly clear?!?!. Wha??? What did I do??? I was getting into the spirit of sequins, I wasn’t trying copy someone! I AM NOT a copier! I am a STAR! ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/113 "2004-05-01T16:57:28Z")
I am an expert at the ancient Maori dance of Poi (ie flaming balls of fire attached to chains) Can we fit this in anywhere? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/114 "2004-05-01T17:02:26Z")
**alterego** , as long as you don’t do your act to the tune of _Great balls of Fire_, you’re hired! ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/115 "2004-05-01T17:27:15Z")
[whine] Can I have sequins on my fire extinguisher? Everybody else has sequins! The flaming batons have sequins! Maybe the Maori Poi chains too! Why not me? [/whine] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/116 "2004-05-01T17:55:15Z")
There, there, **rjk** – go over there to the Bin o’ Sequins and help yourself… …and why don’t you add some to your nice fireman hat at the same time? Oops, don’t feed them to the Dalmatian… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/117 "2004-05-01T18:07:26Z")
Yeah - we don’t need sparkly dalmatian poopies… ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/118 "2004-05-01T18:52:25Z")
I think you’re going to need a way to introduce the acts. Think of the easel on a Vaudeville stage with the show cards announcing each act. Now replace that easel with me, The Monkey Boy, carrying the cards across the stage sort of like the showgirls at a Vegas boxing bout. I’ll be doing my famed and well respected _De-Evolution Walk_. I start out walking like a normal human but within 20 feet am capering about like a gibbon, the arboreal ape of Southeast Asia. This material never fails to kill. This stuff is so good, in fact, that you might want to space out my appearances (I work better when spaced out.) Whaddya say? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/119 "2004-05-01T21:38:31Z")
**MonkeyMensch** , as long as you can keep from flinging feces, you’ve got a deal! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/120 "2004-05-02T02:13:40Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I _like_ it! Head over to wardrobe for matching straw hats and fishing poles. (Buddy can handle a fishing pole, right?) **PTAH!! UGAH! PTAH! PPPT! ptt!** Do you have any idea what it’s like in there? There are **sequins** infesting the wardrobe room! :eek: Look at my crest feathers!! Hey, I’m a guy cockatiel but this is carrying that whole male-of-a-species good looks way too far. :mad: And the last time I saw Tupug, she was wresting some cane poles out from under some pink sequined elephant that was non to happy. I can imagine…sticking all those little plastic things all over would pi$$ the hell out of me, too. Anyway, where the heck is my voice coach? I do get a voice coach, right. (cough, cough, hack, hack, ah hem) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=7)