# Doper Talent Show! Sign up here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754 "2004-04-29T22:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/121 "2004-05-02T10:00:51Z")
Saaaay, what about impressionists? First comedian to suggest Cezanne gets smacked Or prop comedians? Or acrobats? Or someone to do a dramatic recitation? There have got to be more talented folks among Dopedom. Sequinned elephants and tongues-in-noses do not an extravaganza make! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/122 "2004-05-02T18:10:38Z")
I dunno, **FCM** , if we use the sequinned elephants in the tongues in noses act, we’d, we’d… …we’d have PETA on our asses, that’s for damn sure. Okay – can anyone do Paul Lynde? ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/123 "2004-05-02T21:59:30Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Okay – can anyone do Paul Lynde? With or without my tongue in my nose? And does the elephant have to be very involved? I used to do a bang-up Paul Lynde, actually. Carol Channing, too. Oh, and my Annie version of The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow is to die for. Matter of fact, people have threatened to kill me as soon as I start. Damn critics, they’re everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/124 "2004-05-03T03:18:57Z")
**FCM** , I believe you’ve mistaken me for the **MonkeyMule** whose penchant for feces flinging is well documented. I do a class act and will not fling feces for anything less than scale. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/125 "2004-05-03T10:03:48Z")
**MonkeyMensch** , there was no confusion. I was just being proactive (Oh how I hate that word!!!) Oh yeah, and what is this “scale” you reference? Surely you’re not expecting monetary compensation?? This is all about the love of performing. **twicks** and I could _never_ insult artistes with the offer of mere money. But you can have all the donuts you can eat. And free tissues for removing your makeup. And the aforementioned cast party. How can money compare to that?? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/126 "2004-05-03T12:17:49Z")
And sequins – don’t forget sequins! Here – fill your pockets with them! Amaze your friends! Confound your enemies! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/127 "2004-05-03T12:33:59Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’m glad to see everyone’s getting into the spirit of sequins. But I’m going to say right here, right now that I will **not** tolerate cast bickering. **rockle** and **flamingbananas** , you two will work out your differences or you’ll be assigned to sweep up sequins after the show. Includling the matinees!! Have I made myself perfectly clear?!? Sorry, **FCM**. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. Just having a diva moment - my lover’s ex-girlfriend’s cousin’s roommate’s sister’s brother-in-law’s former babysitter was giving an interview to the _Enquirer_ saying I was a has-been, that’s all. And of course we all know that I am a star, a big star, just like **flamingbananas**. I’m fine now, really. Just hand me some more sequins … ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/128 "2004-05-03T14:26:06Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I dunno, **FCM** , if we use the sequinned elephants in the tongues in noses act, we’d, we’d… > > …we’d have PETA on our asses, that’s for damn sure. You are more than welcome to use the sequinned elephant that I will produce in your act, twickster. And don’t worry about PETA. If they make a fuss, I’ll just sick the elephant on them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/129 "2004-05-05T15:12:54Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Saaaay, what about impressionists? First comedian to suggest Cezanne gets smacked Or prop comedians? Or acrobats? Or someone to do **a dramatic recitation**? There have got to be more talented folks among Dopedom. > > Sequinned elephants and tongues-in-noses do not an extravaganza make! Hah! As if the pig story wasn’t dramatic! I suppose I could do “The boy stood on the burning deck…” if your taste runs that way. Smoke pots around the stage, and flash charges full of sequins! Or Shakespeare would be good: “To be or not to be!” Although it’s hard to work many sequins into a speech about suicide. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/130 "2004-05-05T15:28:48Z")
> [@rjk](#): > > Or Shakespeare would be good: “To be or not to be!” Although it’s hard to work many sequins into a speech about suicide. Sequins don’t _have_ to be flamboyant, you know. We could do a simple black jumpsuit, with a subtle sequined pattern on the back – a black on black skull, perhaps? I can hear the murmurs of awe from the audience now, when you dramatically turn your back, somehwere around _“…that dread of something after death…”_, and the grinning skull is discerned. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/131 "2004-05-05T15:39:22Z")
I could serve beer whilst wearing a spangly sequinned top… ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/132 "2004-05-05T16:58:42Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Sequins don’t _have_ to be flamboyant, you know. We could do a simple black jumpsuit, with a subtle sequined pattern on the back – a black on black skull, perhaps? I can hear the murmurs of awe from the audience now, when you dramatically turn your back, somehwere around _“…that dread of something after death…”_, and the grinning skull is discerned. Oh, yes! That would be good! Though I think a tunic and tights would be best - stay in period, you know. “… what dreams may come…” Does anybody know if crazy glue™ will hold sequins on velvet? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/133 "2004-05-05T16:59:26Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > I could serve beer whilst wearing a spangly sequinned top… Don’t worry, **Angua** – everyone who wants sequins will get them! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/134 "2004-05-05T18:57:54Z")
Would the good managers like a martial arts routine? My routine consists of: A bo stave form (with a sequin-covered stave, of course); an unarmed form; then a series of board breaks (only on the Dope). I’ll even put sequins on the boards! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/135 "2004-05-05T19:05:32Z")
Cool! Do you think you could make up some boxes – out of veneers or something – that look like boards, but they’re filled with sequins? That way, when you broke the “boards,” there would be a dramatic “shower o’ sequins” effect that would be very dramatic. BTW, we’re planning a microdope for the 19th – go sign up! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/136 "2004-05-05T19:37:43Z")
I’m glad to see everyone getting into the spirit of the sequins. You know, Ed Sullivan always had a rock-and-roll band. I think that might be a good idea for us, too. So, who’s got a band? ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/137 "2004-05-05T21:15:41Z")
Well my brother has a band…but him and 2 other band memebers are grounded for terrible grades. (Fs, if you must know). So my brother’s band is out. And he isn’t a big fan of sequins. Oh, and **rockle** , I’m cool if you’re cool. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/138 "2004-05-05T23:54:46Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Oh, and **rockle** , I’m cool if you’re cool. We’re cool, then. In fact, I had a wonderful dream last night about a possible encore that the two of us could do together. Feel like learning how to spin (sequined) plates? What if the plates were also festooned with _sparklers_? ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/139 "2004-05-06T00:07:10Z")
Spinning sequined plates with sparklers? Rockin idea! And the sticks that hold the plates, could have sequins too! I am thinking some hot pink. What are your ideas? _gets excited_ ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/140 "2004-05-06T02:13:26Z")
The only odd talent I have is being able to list the prepositions in under 10 seconds. I’m sure you can figure out just how critical a skill that’s proven itself to be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=8)