# Doper Talent Show! Sign up here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754 "2004-04-29T22:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/141 "2004-05-06T03:28:46Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > The only odd talent I have is being able to list the prepositions in under 10 seconds. I’m sure you can figure out just how critical a skill that’s proven itself to be. I know a preposition song. Here is the song: _With on for after at by in, instead of against near between With over up acording too Around about beyond into…_ Aw screw it. I don’t remeber the second verse. And I can’t sing. So nevermind it. We had to memorize it for a class a year or 2 ago. Then we had to say/sing it to prove we memorized it. :rolleyes: I never got it done. ---
**Author:** ![Satyricon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Satyricon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyricon)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/142 "2004-05-06T03:45:35Z")
I can draw anything except monkeys, buildings or cars! (anyone who wants me to draw a monkey driving off a building in a car can go to hell.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/143 "2004-05-06T09:54:28Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > The only odd talent I have is being able to list the prepositions in under 10 seconds. I’m sure you can figure out just how critical a skill that’s proven itself to be. “Hey, baby, wanna hear me reel off all the prepositions in under 10 seconds? 'Cause I’ll do it for you.” Is that a preposition proposition? How, exactly are you going to work sequins into this? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/144 "2004-05-06T09:58:03Z")
> [@Satyricon](#): > > I can draw anything except monkeys, buildings or cars! Hmmmmm, so could you come up with some publicity posters that don’t involve monkeys driving cars into buildings?? How can you not draw buildings? They’re just big boxes. With windows. And the occasional architectural feature… Like I can talk. My stick people are marginally recognizable. I reserve my artistry for other things. Non-drawing things. But I digress. Anyway, work up a few sketches and we’ll talk. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/145 "2004-05-06T10:52:17Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > “Hey, baby, wanna hear me reel off all the prepositions in under 10 seconds? 'Cause I’ll do it for you.” Is that a preposition proposition? > > How, exactly are you going to work sequins into this? Sequined horn-rimmed glasses, silly! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/146 "2004-05-06T11:58:20Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Spinning sequined plates with sparklers? Rockin idea! And the sticks that hold the plates, could have sequins too! I am thinking some hot pink. What are your ideas? Hot pink will work for me. Also purple. I do love me some purple! Maybe we can have hot pink spinning plates, and purple sticks, and wear gold sequinned vests, and maybe those silver tinsel-looking mullet wigs … you know, so no one knows it’s “us” coming back to perform again … I am picturing for the background a plain black curtain, covered in black sequins (the black-on-black look again). Probably we can work tap shoes into this somewhere too. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/147 "2004-05-06T12:08:06Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Sequined horn-rimmed glasses, silly! Brilliant! Also, perhaps a sequinned leisure suit … ? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/148 "2004-05-06T15:39:03Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > …maybe those silver tinsel-looking mullet wigs… I _like_ it! In fact, I think they come in different colors – tinsel wigs for everyone! And, **fcm** , did you remember to order the glitter eyeshadow? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/149 "2004-05-06T16:32:49Z")
Eyeshadow? Excuse me, but it’s all I can do to deal with the sequins vendors!! Besides, what do I look like, the Avon Lady?!?!? No if you’ll excuse me, I have to call World o’ Sequins _again_… ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/150 "2004-05-06T16:36:07Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I _like_ it! In fact, I think they come in different colors – tinsel wigs for everyone! My dream, come friggin’ true. I always wanted a mullet. ---
**Author:** ![MercyStreet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@MercyStreet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MercyStreet)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/151 "2004-05-06T17:48:55Z")
Well, this year I was nominated for a Pulitzer. For writing and all that. Really. But I wasn’t a finalist. And frankly, I didn’t have a shot at being a finalist. So that’s my talent. Writing like hellfire and losing. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/152 "2004-05-07T13:22:54Z")
Bummer, **MercyStreet**. I guess offering you the job of writing program copy would be adding insult to injury? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/153 "2004-05-07T14:00:22Z")
I fear my main talent is good **ONLY** on the casting couch. To put it politely (not because you all are delicate, but so I don’t get banned from the boards) when most guys ::ahem:: play ball, once they knock their ::ahem:: ball out of the park, as it were, they tend to experience some problems holding their bat high for a while. I do not have this problem. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/154 "2004-05-07T14:09:49Z")
**Klytus** – this is all very well and good – but where are the _sequins_? ---
**Author:** ![hybrid\_dogfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@hybrid\_dogfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hybrid_dogfish)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/155 "2004-05-07T14:26:43Z")
You know what this thing needs? Ocelots, sequinned ocelots. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/156 "2004-05-07T14:44:51Z")
**hybrid\_dogfish** , I like your vision. Get right on that, will ya? Oh, but make sure no ocelots are harmed in the application of sequins. We don’t need to open _that_ can of worms. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/157 "2004-05-07T15:37:28Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > **hybrid\_dogfish** , I like your vision. Get right on that, will ya? Oh, but make sure no ocelots are harmed in the application of sequins. We don’t need to open _that_ can of worms. I would’ve expected some more concern that no _sequins_ are harmed in the application to the _ocelots_. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/158 "2004-05-07T17:41:57Z")
Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! [_sigh_ To justify use of this username, I’m contractually obligated to do Bullwinkle jokes whenever the proper setup appears. _sigh_] What’s this about sequenced ocelots? Is that anything like getting one’s ducks in a row. And do ducks row or paddle? And let’s not forget the immortal words of Sgt. Joe Friday: “Do ducks, do time.” In due time, I may make it to the Borscht Belt. Would you believe, borscht suspenders? Maybe a beet g-string? Sorry. But after all the Iraq threads this week, I need to blow off some steam. Should I be rejected by this talent search, let me suggest my roomie, Rocket J. Squirrel. Man, what that little guy can’t do with someone’s nuts. . . ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/159 "2004-05-07T18:49:48Z")
Excuse me, **FCM** and **Twixter**. Your stage manager, here. I just got a call from the lighting designer. He’s having fits over the sequin fest going on. Shall I sack him and hire someone who’s not afraid of blinding the audience? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754/160 "2004-05-07T18:54:55Z")
Geez, what a sissy. You’d think the lawyers had been talking over their concerns about a lawsuit with him. (er…) Issuing sunglasses to the audience as they enter really should take care of this – whaddya think, **FCM**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-talent-show-sign-up-here/242754.md?page=9)