# Doper women, would you be impressed with this? (TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535 "2005-01-31T04:12:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/1 "2005-01-31T04:12:38Z")
Thanks to the repetitive, single-minded nature of the spam I’ve been receiving lately, I find myself forced to post this question here for the womenfolk: Assuming for a moment that I am your lover, just how much more impressed would you be with me if I were to double, or even **triple** the volume of my ejaculation? Would being able to shoot it across the room impress you even more? These spammers seem intent on convincing me that you would be, so I just gotta hear it from y’all. In the interest of science, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/2 "2005-01-31T04:15:30Z")
Um, no. To me it would indicate that you hadn’t gotten any lately so you had extra stored up. However, if you INCREASED THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS!!! then maybe I would be impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/3 "2005-01-31T04:19:18Z")
As I understand it, they’re just happy if we have enough control when urinating to get it all in the bowl without peeing on the seat. To have to deal with that much ejaculate, you know a similar demand would be forthcoming. Then again, I know I’d use it as a great parlor trick to be able to knock old beer bottles off a fence at ten paces… ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/4 "2005-01-31T04:31:17Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > just how much more impressed would you be with me if I were to double, or even **triple** the volume of my ejaculation? Would being able to shoot it across the room impress you even more? > In the interest of science, of course. Heh, heh. Okay, serious now. I am totally unconcerned about the volume of my husband’s ejaculate unless a) there is very little or b) there is a copious amount. A vast quantity of ejaculate would just freak me the hell out. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/5 "2005-01-31T04:35:55Z")
I used to be able to ejaculate 10 feet or so and it just pisses women off because it screws up the walls. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/6 "2005-01-31T04:39:13Z")
No I would not be impressed at all. I might even get annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/7 "2005-01-31T04:39:21Z")
God, no. Less is more here, phase. semen is icky ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/8 "2005-01-31T04:42:45Z")
Assuming its for a practical joke or something, you could mix some flour and water into a condom \*before \* the act. Aside from impressing her with the quantity… it might actually feel pretty damn good. \*\*\*\*\* - Disclaimer - I have no idea how it would feel, having never tried it before, but if you do, perhaps it would be wise to avoid the unrefined, coarse wheat flour. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/9 "2005-01-31T04:57:59Z")
You can’t store up sperm, though, can you? Hmm. I would be kind of impressed in the sense of “Hey! That’s cool!” but not in the sense of “You’re an even more manly hunk of man since you can do that.” ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/10 "2005-01-31T05:01:30Z")
I know it’s been a while, but I seem to remember that it was more copious when the guy had been celibate for a while. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/11 "2005-01-31T05:10:26Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I know it’s been a while, but I seem to remember that it was more copious when the guy had been celibate for a while. YMMV. I wasn’t sure about it myself. I think you are right after all. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/12 "2005-01-31T05:23:11Z")
I’m a little slow on the uptake, but I just now realized that the celibacy thing was probably a lie- they were obviously buying this stuff off the internet and just didn’t want to tell me. It didn’t work, I was not impressed. ---
**Author:** ![dontknowmuch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@dontknowmuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dontknowmuch)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/13 "2005-01-31T05:27:56Z")
i think its mostly gay guys who like lots of ejac hitting them in the face from across the room… i’d watch out for that stuff lol ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/14 "2005-01-31T05:33:55Z")
[How about penis puppetry?](http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/index.html) Would you be impressed with [“the hamburger”?](http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=3564) ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/15 "2005-01-31T05:41:38Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > God, no. Less is more here, phase. > > semen is icky Me, too. I like to (occasionally) go down on the male half of the equation, and if I had to worry about excess jism, I wouldn’t do it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/16 "2005-01-31T05:53:01Z")
Not impressed, thanks for the effort though! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/17 "2005-01-31T06:02:40Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I know it’s been a while, but I seem to remember that it was more copious when the guy had been celibate for a while. YMMV. It seems to operate like a battery. It charges quickly at first, but then tapers off and asymptotically increases. IME the quick charge stops at maybe four days, but I can’t say whether that’s typical. (Hey, we’re fighting ignorance here and the title did say TMI…) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/18 "2005-01-31T06:11:45Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I know it’s been a while, but I seem to remember that it was more copious when the guy had been celibate for a while. YMMV. Yeah, it’s part of the reasoning behind “resting”, in natural pro-baby methods. Semen donors are asked to not have sex the night before donation (no link, I’ve just seen it on Donors Wanted ads). Since it’s a TMI thread anyway… My parents had been trying to get preggers for over 3 years. They were the first to get married, on either side of the family, so baby pressure was huge. And they were living in his hometown, where they would run into someone from his enormous extended family almost daily, and some of his cousins weren’t what you’d call discreet about asking “well, so when’s that baby coming?” They were doing it any time he got something resembling an erection. Enter Uncle Julio. He ordered Mom to “go to her mother’s for two months.” In those two months, they only spent one night together, since the two towns were a 12-hour drive apart and he worked M-Sat. This night was five weeks after their previous time together. My mother is 100% sure what night I was made on 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/19 "2005-01-31T07:08:53Z")
Mrs. Six became steadily more satisfied with our lovemaking as my hormone therapy began to take effect and the amount of my ejaculate went down. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535/20 "2005-01-31T07:13:32Z")
> [@Kaitlyn](#): > > Mrs. Six became steadily more satisfied with our lovemaking as my hormone therapy began to take effect and the amount of my ejaculate went down. I think you’re the only woman, so far, to post an answer in this thread that comes from the perspective opposite that of the intended audience. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-women-would-you-be-impressed-with-this-tmi/287535.md?page=2)