# Doperball II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687 "2004-08-20T06:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/201 "2004-08-30T22:43:09Z")
**Yeti** for a… SCOOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEE!!! Belly dancing ensues… ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/202 "2004-08-30T22:45:14Z")
You need three touches **Yeti** 🙂 **Greenback** who is working late but still has time to help his team (Yu here that Nike? I am a hero. Just aks me. I’m the MVP) grabs the ball. :takes out a pen, signs the ball and hands into the crowd to his adoring fans: What do you mean we’re in Team DDDs stadium? : **Greenback** is last seen fighting off fans who are trying to pull him into the crowd piece by piece: ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/203 "2004-08-30T22:45:30Z")
You need three touches **Yeti** 🙂 **Greenback** who is working late but still has time to help his team (Yu here that Nike? I am a hero. Just aks me. I’m the MVP) grabs the ball. :takes out a pen, signs the ball and hands it into the crowd to his adoring fans: What do you mean we’re in Team DDDs stadium? : **Greenback** is last seen fighting off fans who are trying to pull him into the crowd piece by piece: ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/204 "2004-08-30T22:47:52Z")
Sorry for the triple post…can I score now 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/205 "2004-08-30T23:07:04Z")
No, but I can!! : grabs the ball from **Greenback** , adds his autograph beside **GB** ’s for posterity and hurls (and I mean freakin’ hurls…you can hardly even see the sucker fly its goin’ so freakin’ fast…I must be some kinda superhero!) it directly into Team 2’s net! To quote my fine teammate **Yeti** … SSCCCCOOOOOORRRREEEEEE!! ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/206 "2004-08-30T23:49:26Z")
Okay, the score stands **Team 1** : 3 **Team DDD** : 8 Are we witnessing a monumental comeback? ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/207 "2004-08-31T00:47:08Z")
**Team 1** (For my own clarity, **Greenback, Standup, & Yeti** ) Why do I keep thinking that **Harmless** is on OUR team? Maybe it’s because she doesn’t post what team she’s on? Or am I just to lazy to split the damn alphabet? Both. **Yeti** congratually slaps the back of **Standup** for the actual score, picks up the ball, looks for a morsel of food on it and then tosses it disinterestedly at… Monumental comeback indeed…(more like a 3 on 6 penalty kill…and our goalie is pulled ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/208 "2004-08-31T02:21:55Z")
: catches the disinterested ball from **Yeticus Rex** and hurls it at… : ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/209 "2004-08-31T02:27:24Z")
**harmless** ’ pass is headbutted downfield by **danceswithcats** who goes back to watching the DDD Cheerleaders. 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/210 "2004-08-31T04:00:07Z")
Also enjoying watching the cheerleaders is **Standup Karmic**. He closes his eyes and holds out his hands, imagining that one of those succulent (though thoroughly vacant) girls would stoop so far as to let a Team 1’er caress her breastesses. One of those massive (DDD?) mammaries is placed with a good deal of force (oooh…I like that) directly into his hands. He thinks, “she likes me! She really likes me!!” He leans forwards, eyes still shut tight, slowly parting his lips. He feels the leathery goodness against his lips and thinks, “mmm…a seasoned DDD’er”. Opening his eyes to behold the mature lady before him, he is dismayed to find out it was just the Doperball. The Doperball!!?? **S/K** hucks it away before some big Team DDD brute tackles his ass and bruises his delicate skin… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/211 "2004-08-31T06:05:09Z")
Yo **Standup**. Is that a 1920’s style Death Ray in your pants, or are you happy to see the ladies? :o Taking advantage of **S/K** ’s embarrasing state, I grab the ball and rush down the field. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/212 "2004-08-31T09:53:30Z")
: ninja-style darts in from the shadows and appropriates the doperball from **danceswithcats** and replaces it with ;j before disappearing back into the mist : ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/213 "2004-08-31T14:56:45Z")
Team DDD **Doc** , employing his well honed sense of perfect timing, strolls back onto the field just in time to be the third touch for Team DDD. He grabs the ;j , removes the hat, shaves its head, says “That’s better!”, and gives it a mighty kick into the goal for a SCORE! Yes, I coulda set us up for a multipoint score and win, but at this point individual glory is too appealing. That’s 3 goals for **Doc**! A sure contract extension and a mighty big raise! Hey, Steinbrenner - you watchin? ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/214 "2004-08-31T16:10:34Z")
9-3, **Team DDD**. Is a two-pointer too much to ask? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/215 "2004-08-31T18:44:43Z")
Tema DDD Hmmmm, the field seems a little emp-i-ty today. Remembering the ass-chewing he got the last time he triffled with teh ref, **Doc** slowly and gently takes the ball from center court. With reckless abandon and a rebel yell, he careens down the field. Unfortunately, niether reckless abandon nor rebel yell are on Team DDD, so **Doc** gets bored and chunks the ball. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/216 "2004-08-31T22:35:45Z")
catching the pass from **Doc Jackson, danceswithcats** scans the stadium, and finds only the ever-voluptuous cheerleaders, and the crowd which seems to have been recuited from Lion & Christians, part deux. Determining this is a great opportunity to break into a Meadowlark Lemon improv, he breaks into a dribbling display not surpassed since Pee-Wee Herman. After using a wet-nap, he tosses the ball towards the empty Team 1 net. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/217 "2004-08-31T22:41:02Z")
Team D[sup]3[/sup] Dagnabbit. I’ve been waiting for _hours_ for a coupla more Team 2’ers to come in here and make a play on the ball so I could knock in the game-winning two-pointer. How am I supposed to demand an exorbitant contract once I go to free agency if I don’t make the flashy play?? Anyway… **Hal** stand midfield, engrossed in a cell phone conversation with his agent. Hearing the news that his low scoring totals for the season are causing his value to drop, he unleashed a string of obscenities into the phone, tosses it to the ground, and in frustration, kicks a passing doperball that was recently put into play by **Dr. J**. The ball goes flying over to… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/218 "2004-08-31T22:44:40Z")
Grrr…and I even previewed. :mad: Ok, lets just amend my last post to have me kick **dwc** ’s wet-napped doperball. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/219 "2004-08-31T23:29:06Z")
TEAM 1 Damn you clowns! Start putting more food on the ball, ok? Throws it disinterestedly AGAIN… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/220 "2004-08-31T23:44:34Z")
…to be deftly retrieved by **Standup Karmic** who envisions being an unlikely hero by the end of the game, a la Rudy. Rudy. Hmm, haven’t watched that in years. : drops the ball and wanders off to go watch a feel-good movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=12)