# Doperball II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687 "2004-08-20T06:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/41 "2004-08-26T00:48:08Z")
Just giving this a little bump, now that the game is going again and all. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/42 "2004-08-26T01:47:45Z")
somehow, some sort of orb or sphere shaped thingy is now sticking to my body, which is conveniently covered in a thick, viscous slime that smells of dead stuff. I somehow manage to pry this “ball” off of my body and drop it on the ground, where it no doubt remains affixed. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/43 "2004-08-26T01:56:28Z")
…so **harmlessly** special, it falls into the hands of Yeticus Rex from **TEAM 1**. Yeti stares at the ball for a second, sees a banana stain left behind from **flamingbananas** , gives the ball a big saliva bath until the ball squirts out of his hands and lands on the head of… ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/44 "2004-08-26T02:01:04Z")
Team 1 is threatening! Will team 2 jump in to put a stop to this drive? Even if the next poster is from Team 1, will (s)he shoot, or pass for the extra points? The drama builds? [sub]See how much more attentive I am now? :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/45 "2004-08-26T02:01:26Z")
**Agonist** coming from literally out of nowhere (2nd post ever!) She catches the ball and drop-kicks it for Team 1’s first Point! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/46 "2004-08-26T02:05:09Z")
Team 1 jumps to an early lead! **Team 1** : 1 **Team 2** : 0 **Agonist** , you get the priviledge of naming your team. (I have checked the lists, and all the team members seem to check out!) The ball is back in the middle, here we go! ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/47 "2004-08-26T02:31:31Z")
**ADHEMAR** showing the same skill from high school that caused her to constantly foul out, scoops up the ball form the middle and tosses too… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/48 "2004-08-26T04:51:36Z")
(team 2) **Johnny Bravo** who gets his sandwich knocked out of his hands. He curses and flings the ball at… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/49 "2004-08-26T05:06:36Z")
(Team 2) … **Hal**! With a breathtaking behind-the-back catch, he grabs **Johnny Bravo** ’s pass and starts making his way upfield. Suddenly, he notices the scoreboard… “WTF?! 1-0?? Team 1 is _winning_?!? But…but…Team 1 has never once had the lead! Not ever, in the long and storied history of the great game of Doperball has this happened! Team 1 has always been comprised of the crippled, the athletically incompetent, the near-blind! [Books](http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?product_id=190995&sourceid=1500000000000000040820) have been written of their utter lack of ability! This _cannot_ stand!!” With a fresh look of vengence in his eye, he boots the ball over to… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/50 "2004-08-26T05:22:43Z")
… **Standup Karmic** , still standing in the same place the last time he had control of the spheriod score-enhancing device (I’m sorry…what did you call that? A bow…baw…baawwwll). Remaining still so recently de-spectacled, and not want to make any more of a spectacle of himself, he promptly tosses the ball as far away from himself as his puny stick-arms will manage (about 3 feet…twelve feet if the distance was being judged by an Olympic judge). Receiving that nancy toss is… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/51 "2004-08-26T05:41:28Z")
(Team 2) **Johnny Bravo** , who rides quickly by on a tricycle. He places the Doperball in the bike’s basket, rings the little bell, and speeds towards the goal. Unfortunately, he runs over his sandwich and upturns. The Doperball rolls towards… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/52 "2004-08-26T05:48:47Z")
(Team 2) Me, who take the pass from **JB** , gives it a nudge, and then realizes I shoulda been in bed an hour ago. G’night. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/53 "2004-08-26T14:19:07Z")
Okay, I’ve got to go to class, so if somebody scores while I’m gone, make a note of it. I’ll be back in a couple hours. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/54 "2004-08-26T14:33:03Z")
(Team 2) **Doctor Jackson** grabs the pass from the “he’s so cute when he’s sleeping” **JimSox5**. **Doc** , noticing that the ref is away, quickly tries to think of a way to cheat. Damn a game with so few rules! It just makes cheating sooooo difficult. After gouging the now naked eyes of **Standup Karmic** , **Doc** sends a low arching shot to the empty goal - Scooooooooooooore, Team 2! Let’s see that in slow motion: S–c--o–o--o–o--o–o--o–o--o–o--o–o--o–r--e–! I hearby christen our team “Team 2”. It’s got a nice ring to it, doncha think? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/55 "2004-08-26T15:40:11Z")
Heh…I think you meant the “…so cute when sleeping” me. 🙂 But, whatever, we tied it up! Woot! I think we can assume the ghostly image of the astrally projected ref places the ball at midfield…so, game on! (Team 2) **Hal** takes the free ball, quickly assembles an extra-large tennis-ball-cannon out of 12" PVC piping and a case of hairspray, and loads it up with the doperball… _ **FIRE IN THE HOLE!!** _ Foomp!!, goes the ball downfield, directly toward the (hopefully heavily armored)… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/56 "2004-08-26T17:40:23Z")
ME! Catches the ball from **Hal** , and takes it in for a point or two? Yeah? Did I do it? Huh? Did I, did I? ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/57 "2004-08-26T17:54:47Z")
No, **harmless** , you didn’t. True to form 😉 So the score is: **Team 1** : 1 **Team 2** : 1 Team 2 has had two members with the ball, so they’re already threatening to score again! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/58 "2004-08-26T17:55:35Z")
Heh…neither, **harmless**. You’re the second Team 2’er to touch the ball this play. Which means: Someone get the damn ball from her!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/59 "2004-08-26T17:57:03Z")
Errr…yeah…what the ref said. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/60 "2004-08-26T18:10:37Z")
[ref shirt off] By the way, **Team 2** , **Team 1** scored? As a former **Team Pants on Fire** star, what happened? Come on, now, put the hammer down! [/ref shirt off] Okay, I’m back to being impartial. Good job, **Team 1**. Note to everybody, watch out if **swampbear** finds the game, he has a habit of stealing players pants. I was victim :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=4)