# Doperball II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687 "2004-08-20T06:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/101 "2004-08-27T18:52:50Z")
_You don’t know where that’s been_\* **Greenback** slaps the ball away from **harmless**. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/102 "2004-08-27T19:01:58Z")
Team 1 **Yeti** picks it up this time, and since teammate **greenback** is having reservations about the balls cleanliness, pulls out a YetiCondom[sup]TM[/sup], rolls it over the ball (not even a snug fit, what gives?), and now safe balling can be had! Doesn’t lick it this time because lubricants are not a food group…but heaves it deep inside (team 2’s field) to… ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/103 "2004-08-27T19:06:07Z")
Team 1 **Greenback** who, apparently having nothing better to do today, is loitering on the field. The ball hits **Greenback** in the head and goes in anyway. **Greenback** starts running around like he meant to do that. It’s in the playbook…honest 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/104 "2004-08-27T19:08:22Z")
Gimme that! : Snatches the ball from **Greenback** and hangs onto it tooth and nail while snarling feral-like : Mine! ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/105 "2004-08-27T19:12:21Z")
**Zakalwe** distracts **harmless** with a shiny object and takes the ball away. Whew! ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/106 "2004-08-27T19:12:21Z")
We got a point, right? You talk pretty big for someone who goes by the name of **harmless** 😉 Approaches **harmless** carefully with a syringe. It is time for your shot. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/107 "2004-08-27T19:14:16Z")
> [@greenback](#): > > We got a point, right? Not if I understand the rules correctly…you touched the ball twice without a point being scored or the other team getting control. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/108 "2004-08-27T19:20:42Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Not if I understand the rules correctly…you touched the ball twice without a point being scored or the other team getting control. Sorry. Really? > [@](#): > > _You don’t know where that’s been_\* > > Greenback slaps the ball away from harmless. Touch. > [@](#): > > Team 1 > > Yeti picks it up this time, and since teammate greenback is having reservations about the balls cleanliness, pulls out a YetiCondomTM, rolls it over the ball (not even a snug fit, what gives?), and now safe balling can be had! Doesn’t lick it this time because lubricants are not a food group…but heaves it deep inside (team 2’s field) to… Touch. > [@](#): > > Team 1 > > Greenback who, apparently having nothing better to do today, is loitering on the field. > The ball hits Greenback in the head and goes in anyway. > > Greenback starts running around like he meant to do that. > > It’s in the playbook…honest Touch. Did I miss something? **Greenback** and **Zakalwe** start discussing doperball rules at midfield… ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/109 "2004-08-27T19:27:49Z")
As I understand it, **Zakalwe** is right. You slapped the ball away from **harmless** , then **Yeti** got it, and then you touched it again. It has to be three consectutive, different posters Until either there is a score or change of possession. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/110 "2004-08-27T19:29:04Z")
As I understand it, **Zakalwe** is right. You slapped the ball away from **harmless** , then **Yeti** got it, and then you touched it again. It has to be three consectutive, different posters Until either there is a score or change of possession. Even if it were legal, you never said you shot the ball for a point. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/111 "2004-08-27T19:30:37Z")
Please excuse my double-post :smack: I guess I really wanted to get the point across. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/112 "2004-08-27T19:33:18Z")
Ummm… **Greenback** - Team 1 **Yeticus Rex** - Team 1 **Greenback** - Team 1 Check the rules: “once you touch the ball you cannot touch it again until there is a score, or the opposing team gains control.” Your second touch should have been another Team 1 member or it’s no score. At least that’s how I understand it. Or on preview, what **JimSox5** said… ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/113 "2004-08-27T19:33:32Z")
Having had **JimSox5** hand him a rulebook showing that **Greenback** is indeed a moron, **Greenback** sits down at midfield and starts reading the 700 page rulebook cover to cover and making “did you know” comments as players run by. _Did you know that if the stadium crumples and your team dies, you can go recruit another team but you have to give up three points and be back within 10 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/114 "2004-08-27T19:43:05Z")
Team 1 **Yeti** Grabs the condom-encased ball, accidentally trips over **greenback** , finds rule book, eats it, lays on his back, does a dirt-angel (as opposed to a snow-angel) and knocks the ball a scant 10 yards towards… ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/115 "2004-08-27T19:50:25Z")
Ref **JimSox** sez > [@](#): > > Another outburst like that, Doctor Jackson, and I might have to send you to team 1 You can’t do that! **Greenback** just showed me rule 156.45.666.732 subsection “quallifications” and it clearly states “Team 1 shall never have any players with even one scintilla of athletic ability”. Here’s my scintilla, right here in this mason jar - see, it’s got my name on it. Nyah! As this Olympic sized rule debate rages on, \*\*Doc[/d] casually takes the ball from wherever it is and, using just his big toe, propels it downfield. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/116 "2004-08-27T19:55:24Z")
**Doc** ’s kick glances off the back of **Zakalwe** ’s head causing him to drop the rule book ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/117 "2004-08-27T19:57:32Z")
Racing over to save what is left of the rulebook, **Greenback** kicks the ball away to open field. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/118 "2004-08-27T20:06:02Z")
: recovers the ball yet again from **Greenback** : Team 2 RULES! 😛 : archs it nicely down field to… : ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/119 "2004-08-27T20:11:36Z")
**harmless** arcs the ball down the field to where **Zakalwe** is still looking for the rule book he dropped. **Zakalwe** notices the ball and throws it to… ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/120 "2004-08-27T20:22:26Z")
Team 1. **Yeti**. “You ain’t gonna do it with me on the field!” Boots the ball the other way to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=7)