# Doperball II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687 "2004-08-20T06:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/121 "2004-08-27T20:26:29Z")
**Greenback** takes the ball in stride racing down the field looking for an opening to thread a pass. Sending the ball to the far side of the field to… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/122 "2004-08-27T20:47:30Z")
…to **STandup Karmic** ’s golf tee that sits directly in front of him whilst he practices his swings. Noting the lucky landing, **Standup** swings his Big Bertha and drives the ball directly into Team 2’s net. Score? ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/123 "2004-08-27T20:52:14Z")
Note to **Agonist** : You requested assistance in naming the team. May I suggest “Team 3” or “They, who **Hal Briston** envies”. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/124 "2004-08-27T21:11:55Z")
> [@Standup Karmic](#): > > …to **STandup Karmic** ’s golf tee that sits directly in front of him whilst he practices his swings. Noting the lucky landing, **Standup** swings his Big Bertha and drives the ball directly into Team 2’s net. > > Score? Let’s do this right: **GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLL!** ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/125 "2004-08-27T21:13:17Z")
Team 2’s **Doc** , grabs the ball from midfield. Sensing that it’s time for Team 2 to get on the stick, he promptly does so. Not sure at all how this will help matters, he throws the ball high into the air and says “Y’all gotta hold down the fort for the weekend, I’m going out of town”. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/126 "2004-08-27T21:16:52Z")
I GOT IT!! I GOT IT! Are those cheerleaders??? :eek: \* \*This as close to an ogle smiley I can find ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/127 "2004-08-27T21:33:43Z")
: jumps up and down on the stick; grabbing the ball while **Greenback** is distracted : ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/128 "2004-08-27T21:39:31Z")
**harmless** : why don’t I save you the trouble and just hand you the ball when I get it. I wouldn’t want you to tire while following me around on the field 😛 :trips **harmless** with the stick and sends the ball off in the other direction: ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/129 "2004-08-27T21:59:33Z")
… **S/K** retrieves the ball and in the excitement of the game, forgets about the three-touch before goal rule. He uses the Texas Instruments graphing calculator he’s had since Grade 12 calculus to burn through some figures. Let’s see…wind speed and direction…earth rotation…moon gravitational pull…exceptional tightness of my spandex Doperball shirt which shoes off my massive guns and six-pack… and fires it directly at team 2’s net!!! But it misses!!! …oh…forgot to carry the ‘1’. Speaking of ‘1’…are any of my teammies near the ball? Please say it’s so! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/130 "2004-08-27T22:18:07Z")
The missed shot by **S/K** is deftly caught one-handed by **danceswithcats** who demonstrates multitasking by finishing a cold beer at the same time. Tossing the bottle aside, he pulls out a precision pocket Doperball cannon, loads the firing chamber with cat food, inserts the ball into the muzzle, lights the fuse, and with a resounding MEOW the ball rockets towards Team 1’s goal ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/131 "2004-08-27T23:12:05Z")
With the **Team 1** goal, the score is (I believe): **Team 1** : 2 **Team 2** : 3 Team 2 has one touch. . . ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/132 "2004-08-27T23:18:20Z")
> [@JimSox5](#): > > With the **Team 1** goal, the score is (I believe): > > **Team 1** : 2 > **Team 2** : 3 > Team 2 has one touch. . . Ref’s been drinking again! ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/133 "2004-08-27T23:25:51Z")
Team 1. SHOT DENIED… **Yeti’s** belly to big…The ball bounces off and heads back up the field to… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/134 "2004-08-28T00:21:18Z")
Hey! I was on the sideline when the ball hit me in the back. Oh my! I guess its my play (looks around for a teammate) **CATCH!** ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/135 "2004-08-28T03:26:41Z")
Team 2. **Picnurse** is tic, I’m tac… we need a toe for a perfect passing play. Come on team 2!! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/136 "2004-08-28T04:41:56Z")
:smack: I mean two! : Takes ball from **Phelan** to run it in for a point! : Woo Hoo! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/137 "2004-08-28T05:57:23Z")
**Team 1** : 2 **Team 2** : 4 Ball is back in the middle! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/138 "2004-08-28T06:49:34Z")
I got it! **Harmless**? **danceswithcats**? Ready? (With the form of a shotputter)…ugh set GO! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/139 "2004-08-28T13:59:46Z")
: grabs the pass from **picunurse** : Someone catch! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/140 "2004-08-28T14:56:13Z")
**Johnny Bravo** catches the Doperball, spins around, dribbles, wipes the dribble off his chin, and shoots for a goal! Goooaaaal! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=8)