# Doperball II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687 "2004-08-20T06:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/141 "2004-08-28T15:56:41Z")
Woohoo! I’ll wait for confirmation from the ref, but I do believe that **JB** ’s score makes it 5-2, us! **Team 2** I line of for kickoff, charge towards the ball, rear back to boot it mightily,…and whiff. The ball dribbles a whole 12 or 13 inches downfield (:smack: ), where it is scooped up by… ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/142 "2004-08-28T16:29:25Z")
Back in action after a long time off the field, **Nightwatch** catches a piece of **Hal** ’s…dribble, which is totally disgusting. But I get the ball too, and weave in and out between defenders, snaking my serpentine way (redundancy!) across the field to the goal, where I discover that it is in fact my own goal. The opportunity wasted, I dejectedly knock the ball downfield into the open arms of… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/143 "2004-08-28T16:31:35Z")
(team 2) … **Johnny Bravo** , whose arms are busily occupied by adoring fans. The ball bounces off his head and into the goal. Goooaaal! ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/144 "2004-08-28T17:01:25Z")
Seeing the rampage that Team 2 (aka their official name, “Team 2”) has been been on, **S/K** takes the ball from the ethereal ref that he imagines has taken the ball to mid-field. Kissing the ball (with tongue!!) for luck, he tosses it blindly upfield, hoping to hell that another Team 1 (aka their unofficial official name, “Team 1”) member happens to be wandering by… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/145 "2004-08-28T18:12:06Z")
but unfortunately, **S/K** ’s pass is intercepted by **danceswithcats** who, with catlike precision pulls out a slingshot made from brasierres stolen from the washlines of female Dopers, loads the ball, and sends a Cross-Your-Heart underwire rocket towards Team 1’s goal. 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/146 "2004-08-28T18:22:23Z")
MY BRA??!! Leaps 7 feet into the air, snatching the ball and my bra. (you know this is considered a lethal weapon in several states.) Please, its just a game, if someone gets hurt, and goes home crying, how will you feel. But, **danceswithcats** nice save! 😃 Ok, (looks around for team 2 members (we need a better name) Think fast! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/147 "2004-08-28T18:27:05Z")
The DDemons? I got that thought from the smiley code! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/148 "2004-08-28T18:31:15Z")
So _that’s_ where my b…errrr…my _wife’s_ bra went! _yoink!_ Anyway… Team 2 **Hal** thinks fast and snags **picunurse** ’s pass (and, accidentally, her bra). Unfortunately, _both_ bras seem to have gotten their hooks caught in the threading of the doperball. He sees a clear shot at the goal and lets the ball fly, but a sudden gust of wind fills the cups of the bra-laden ball like a sail and send it arcing back over his head! This could be a turnover, or it could lead to a two-fer! The ball sails down, landing gently in the waiting arms of… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/149 "2004-08-28T18:35:34Z")
… **S/K**! Grabbing the still-attached bra by the straps, he swings, swings, swings in a manner that would made David (of David & Goliath fame) proud. The ball goes a-sailing back to Team 2’s end of the field. Am I the only person on Team 1? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/150 "2004-08-28T18:53:03Z")
Yes, you are! : mugs **Standup Karmic** for the bra-ball and flings it down field : ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/151 "2004-08-28T19:01:44Z")
As a one-player team, I might not be eligible to score, but I can sure do my damndest to make sure you Team Two-ers can’t either. **Standup** jumps into a borrowed Batmobile and hits the button that turns on that little rocket-thing at the back. He hurtles down to the other end of the field and grabs the ball just as it’s coming back down to earth. After loading it into the Bat Cannon, he fires it back to its rightful place near Team 2’s net where it is received by… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/152 "2004-08-28T19:02:36Z")
[large policeman-like voice] People! Put down the bra… NOW! step away from the underwear, and you can all go back to your game(?) You know folks, this is how people get hurt, handling weapons they’re unfamilar with. [/large policeman-like voice] (That would have to be DDDemons, did you see me, behind the cop, steal the ball?) ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/153 "2004-08-28T19:07:35Z")
Great name since it seems we’re mostly females hey Hal! . 😛 : accepts the pass from **picunurse** , jumps on her magical faerie-lion and gallops down field with it : 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/154 "2004-08-28T19:31:42Z")
**Standup Karmic** riding his magical faerie-three-toed-sloth happens to be right in the way of **harmless** ’ faerie-lion. The faerie-lion, tripping over the almost immobile faerie-three-toed-sloth, causes **harmless** to drop the ball. **S/K** grabs it hoping to hell some reinforcements show up soon. He gives it a good volleyball floater serve towards… ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/155 "2004-08-28T22:39:07Z")
Team 2. the team 1 mascot!! Some kind of an animal. Phelan throws an elbow to the head of the mascot, the ball rolls loose, and Phelan kicks it back to Team 1 territory. The mascot licks his hoof, and goes upside Phelan’s head!!! Phelan grabs a horn and goes 5 between the eyes!!! Then they both start throwing. **FIGHT!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/156 "2004-08-28T23:02:55Z")
Team 1 **Greenback** watches **Phelan** duke it out with our mascot. I wonder how long until **Phelan** notices the mascot’s third horn? I wouldn’t stand in there like that. Refocusing, **Greenback** runs after the ball with the grace of a rhino mired in a bog. It’s not pretty but no one wants to get near me. Diving, **Greenback** smothers the ball waits for teammates to come dig it out. Ball protection. That’s what this game is about. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/157 "2004-08-28T23:13:23Z")
**Standup** grabs Greenback’s well-protected ball, glad to see that there’s more than just him on the team. He decides this looks very much like a run play, and sprints towards Team 2’s goal. He is well within striking range but, now being significantly more familiar with the rules, he looks for a third Team 1-er to take the ball in for a point. Not seeing any directly in front of him, he tosses it behind him, desperately hoping its one of his own whose footsteps he hears back there… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/158 "2004-08-28T23:59:37Z")
And it was THIS BIG! : hold hands wide open into which the doperball land : _plunk_ :eek: : streaks down the field : ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/159 "2004-08-29T00:15:12Z")
**harmless** I’m here! I’m open! I have my girly shoes on, but here I am… ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687/160 "2004-08-29T00:20:07Z")
**Standup** grabs the ball and stuffs it down the front of his pants. Ok…who wants it? **harmless**? **picunurse**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-ii/260687.md?page=9)