# Doperball III **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034 "2005-02-08T18:07:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/281 "2005-02-11T01:00:53Z")
**ButtonJockey308** is hurtling toward **Keapon** at a startling speed of a guy his size, an explosive tackle, and BAM, the ball is loose!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/282 "2005-02-11T01:04:37Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > **ButtonJockey308** is hurtling toward **Keapon** at a startling speed of a guy his size, an explosive tackle, and BAM, the ball is loose!!! Picking the ball up after **buttonjockey308** briefly touches it, I toss to… ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/283 "2005-02-11T01:10:50Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Picking the ball up after **buttonjockey308** briefly touches it, I toss to… back into the grubby hands of **Keapon**. I glance around and throw a long one … ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/284 "2005-02-11T01:17:02Z")
**Keapon’s** long bomb of a pass is spotted by **danceswithcats** who has barely enough time to finish his beer, belch loudly, and crush the can on his forehead before catching the pass and throwing it to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/285 "2005-02-11T01:52:31Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **Keapon’s** long bomb of a pass is spotted by **danceswithcats** who has barely enough time to finish his beer, belch loudly, and crush the can on his forehead before catching the pass and throwing it to… Me! After foiling another score, I look downfield, and spot a wide-open… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/286 "2005-02-11T01:55:23Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Me! After foiling another score, I look downfield, and spot a wide-open… wheelbarrow, which catches the ball nicely, allowing **danceswithcats** to head back the other way with ball _and_ beer. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/287 "2005-02-11T02:09:11Z")
I grab the ball from the wheelbarrel and scream “PRESIDENT BUSH SIGNED A LAW TODAY MAKING HIM DICTATOR FOR LIFE!!”. While everyone falls upon their knees and wails I take advantage of the confusion and quickly pass the ball in the direction of… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/288 "2005-02-11T02:09:53Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > wheelbarrow, which catches the ball nicely, allowing **danceswithcats** to head back the other way with ball _and_ beer. Only to lose it to me, as I disgustedly throw the ball down and see it picked up by… ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/289 "2005-02-11T02:16:20Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > I grab the ball from the wheelbarrel and scream “PRESIDENT BUSH SIGNED A LAW TODAY MAKING HIM DICTATOR FOR LIFE!!”. While everyone falls upon their knees and wails I take advantage of the confusion and quickly pass the ball in the direction of… Unfortunately while \*\*Sternvogel \*\* is grasping air, I grab the ball from \*\*emekthian \*\* and SCOREEEE! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/290 "2005-02-11T02:18:25Z")
:: catches **Strenvogel** ’s pass :: Ha! Axe-whack!! :: Uses axe to bat ball :: ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/291 "2005-02-11T02:19:54Z")
Damn! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/292 "2005-02-11T02:25:39Z")
since **Regallag** actually caught the ball from **Keapon** , I’ll snag it from **Regallag** and throw it for for GOAL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/293 "2005-02-11T02:37:21Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Unfortunately while \*\*Sternvogel \*\* is grasping air, I grab the ball from \*\*emekthian \*\* and SCOREEEE! Okay, we’re still up by a 9-7 count, so I’ll put the ball into play with a bicycle kick to the corner. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/294 "2005-02-11T03:00:18Z")
Preferring to ride as opposed to kicking bicycles, **danceswithcats** scoops up the pass from **Sternvogel** and rides to the other end of the field, baseball cards snapping in the spokes all the way (How Retro) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/295 "2005-02-11T03:05:10Z")
**Scuba Ben** clothes-lines **danceswithcats** (sorry, Paul, but the game’s afoot), loads the ball in a trebuchet, and _fliiiiiings_ the ball about a kilometer down the field. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/296 "2005-02-11T03:09:42Z")
Head-buts the ball from Scuba\_Ben, and then goes to slice up the trebuchet ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/297 "2005-02-11T03:14:01Z")
**Scuba Ben** ’s (I’ll get you at an unnamed future juncture) 😉 pass exits Cecil Stadium and ends up in the parking lot, where **danceswithcats** recovers it and charges back onto the field where a pass is made to… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/298 "2005-02-11T03:15:50Z")
But since **Axe-Man** was first, I’ll just hand it to… ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/299 "2005-02-11T03:16:35Z")
**Phelan** from **danceswithcats** …SCORES!!!GOOOOOOAAAL!!! ---
**Author:** ![gruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/57b2e6/32.png) [@gruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gruver)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034/300 "2005-02-11T03:22:55Z")
gruver picks it up and casually flings it over her shoulder to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iii/289034.md?page=16)