# Doperball IV: The Subtitling **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064 "2005-06-20T15:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/281 "2005-06-24T16:28:57Z")
Hoo! What are sports and games without endless rules discussions? > [@Hal Briston](#): > > 1. The “post the person’s name you’re receiving from” is to keep things clear when simuposts occur. There was no care of that here. I’d like to point you to the relevant subsection of the rules, which state quite clearly: “IMPORTANT: When posting, you **must** either post the name of the person from whom you are getting the ball, or quote their post.” > [@](#): > > 1. The “coleslaw” bit is a dead giveaway. So’s your face. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/282 "2005-06-24T16:30:24Z")
When I previewed to make sure there have been no replies between then and now, I don’t see how it is not clear. Now, let me finish my last burger in peace. I _was_ going to eat a comically large pile of burgers, but now that you guys ruined the coleslaw, I guess I will have to play. Wait a minute! ::Rips the rule book from **Priceguy** ’s hands.:: This isn’t a Doperball rulebook, this is a Mornington Crescent rulebook! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/283 "2005-06-24T16:34:19Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > He fails miserably and throws the ball in the air in disgust, then pops off towards the bleachers to hit on that cute cheerleader. While **Priceguy** and **Hal** argue over the rulebook, **Monstre** catches the ball, quickly pointing out that the cheerleader **Priceguy** is hitting on is actually **swampbear** , who’s just wearing a skirt… then he runs off with the ball, down the street. Realizing he needs another beer, **Monstre** takes a detour into the nearest bar, puts the ball down on the stool next to him, and cries out “Barkeep, gimme another!” ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/284 "2005-06-24T16:36:14Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Wait a minute! ::Rips the rule book from **Priceguy** ’s hands.:: This isn’t a Doperball rulebook, this is a Mornington Crescent rulebook! No it isn’t! Err… uhhh… well, in 1976 the Commission of Elders decided to consolidate the Piccadilly Circus Exception with the Cockney Gambit, so ripping the rulebook from my hands isn’t legal in the first place! I call for your decapitation under the Fifth Amendment to the Contract of the Convocation of Minor Lords in 1893! ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/285 "2005-06-24T16:37:08Z")
Oy vey! And you folks wonder why we’ve only done this once or twice a year 😉 The coleslaw comment is a giveaway, and, in fact, more accurate than if he would have said he got the ball from **Mostre** , because the post leading into it ended with the ball landing in the coleslaw rather than in the air. Or that’s my take. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/286 "2005-06-24T16:37:57Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > While **Priceguy** and **Hal** argue over the rulebook, **Monstre** catches the ball, quickly pointing out that the cheerleader **Priceguy** is hitting on is actually **swampbear** , who’s just wearing a skirt… then he runs off with the ball, down the street. > > Realizing he needs another beer, **Monstre** takes a detour into the nearest bar, puts the ball down on the stool next to him, and cries out “Barkeep, gimme another!” Outraged by **swampbear** ’s offensive cuteness and the referee’s stubborn refusal to consider his vitally important nitpicks, **Priceguy** accidentally swallows the ball and continues downfield in a fit of berserker rage. Who has the surgical equipment to extract the ball? Who, I ask, _who_? ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/287 "2005-06-24T16:41:31Z")
Hmm. . .I don’t know if I should allow that, as you didn’t actually get rid of the ball like the rules say you have to, **Priceguy**. . . 😉 As an aside, that’s a pretty bold move, as I’m not sure most of the Rabid Ferrets will wait on proper “surgical equipment.” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/288 "2005-06-24T16:44:49Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > Who has the surgical equipment to extract the ball? Who, I ask, _who_? No need for surgery, my friend! :: Grabs rulebook and whallops **Priceguy** in the stomach with it, causing him to expectorate the Doperball right into the waiting hands of… :: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/289 "2005-06-24T16:56:46Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > No need for surgery, my friend! > > :: Grabs rulebook and whallops **Priceguy** in the stomach with it, causing him to expectorate the Doperball right into the waiting hands of… :: **mooncat** , who then makes a wild throw down the field to… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/290 "2005-06-24T16:58:56Z")
> [@the4thmooncat](#): > > **mooncat** , who then makes a wild throw down the field to… **Priceguy** , who just won’t stay the fuck down. Now he teleports downfield to catch the ball and looks around for a teammate, any teammate. Finding none, he tries to throw the ball into the stratosphere instead. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/291 "2005-06-24T17:02:42Z")
**MoonCat** , having gone back to the shrimp dip, is suddenly bonked on the head by **Priceguy** ’s stratospheric ball. It bounces off her head, towards… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/292 "2005-06-24T17:05:22Z")
**Scott** useing his (utter lack of) leet math skills tries to postion himself where he thinks the ball will come down, if it is not hit by some mid air collision, or [the last cheerleader, last seen heading into](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6285771&postcount=216) space. Wait? what? > [@](#): > > MoonCat, having gone back to the shrimp dip, is suddenly bonked on the head by Priceguy’s stratospheric ball. It bounces off her head, towards… It hits the back of my head, and rebounds into the air, into my hands. I toss to towards where I think the goal is… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/293 "2005-06-24T17:07:19Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Wait? what?It hits the back of my head, and rebounds into the air, into my hands. I toss to towards where I think the goal is… …and into **Hal** ’s hands. He dips into his supply of fireworks (meh…so some of the neighborhood kids’ll be disappointed next week…fugg’em) and pulls out a handful of Fing-R-Gone Bottle Rockets. He duct tapes them to the Doperball, lights 'em up, and send the ball streaking the length of the field, directly to the GOOOOOOOOOAL!!! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/294 "2005-06-24T17:31:05Z")
I wanna, I wanna Gimme! Please? How do I make this thing go again? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/295 "2005-06-24T18:21:58Z")
Well, we’re coming off of a score, so it’s a free ball right now. Just give it a kick, **harmless** …over here! I’m open! ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/296 "2005-06-24T18:51:18Z")
No way. **Priceguy** , who has so far been the only member of his team to actually show up for the match, gives the ball a kick and watches it spin right onto the warm bosom of… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/297 "2005-06-24T19:02:55Z")
**featherlou** takes the kick from **Priceguy**. Hey, watch it. Not so hard on the girls. featherlou passes to… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/298 "2005-06-24T19:14:49Z")
Tired of scrolling… 😃 > [@](#): > > Team name reset: > Team 1: A B C G H I M N O S T U Y > Team 2: D E F J K L P Q R V W X Z Excellent team name, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/299 "2005-06-24T19:28:43Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > **featherlou** takes the kick from **Priceguy**. Hey, watch it. Not so hard on the girls. featherlou passes to… … **Hal** , who flings himself in front of the ball, preventing the first Team 1 point. He gives the ball a heave downfield to… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/300 "2005-06-24T19:38:15Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > … **Hal** , who flings himself in front of the ball, preventing the first Team 1 point. He gives the ball a heave downfield to… **Priceguy** again, who does a double backflip over the heads of several Rabid Ferrets and runs with the ball. Once again lamenting the dearth of teammates, he passes to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064.md?page=16)