# Doperball IV: The Subtitling **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064 "2005-06-20T15:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/301 "2005-06-24T20:38:15Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > **Priceguy** again, who does a double backflip over the heads of several Rabid Ferrets and runs with the ball. Once again lamenting the dearth of teammates, he passes to… … **Monstre** , of course, who climbs up the nearest tree, King-Kong style, with the ball, and swats at imaginary airplanes and helicopters. Gravity reminds him that he shouldn’t climb trees after so many drinks, and as he hits the ground, the ball goes flying to… ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/302 "2005-06-24T20:39:46Z")
And since it’s a new page, **Monstre** crawls to the rim of the crater created by his fall from the tree, and holds up this sign: > [@](#): > > Team reminder: > Team 1: A B C G H I M N O S T U Y > Team 2: D E F J K L P Q R V W X Z ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/303 "2005-06-24T20:39:50Z")
would whips it towards to goal… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/304 "2005-06-24T20:57:17Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > would whips it towards to goal… …where I stand, and (not sure if **Scott Plaid** made a legal touch) decide to pass the ball to a teammate, who will score either one or two points by putting the ball in the GOAL! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/305 "2005-06-24T20:58:26Z")
Who, not would. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/306 "2005-06-24T21:17:25Z")
The ball lands in an oblivious \*\*MoonCat[\b]'s bowl of shrimp dip. She plucks the ball from the bowl, licks off the dip, and hurls it at the goal! ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/307 "2005-06-24T21:18:38Z")
Mrr. Bad coding. Bad. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/308 "2005-06-24T21:30:45Z")
Hmmm…gonna need a ref’s ruling if the score is three-zip or four-zip. Anyway… … **Hal** grabs the ball off of **MoonCat** ’s play, grabs his cell phone and places a quick call to Pigs ‘R’ Us. Moments later, a PRU delivery van pulls up and releases a dozen of Farmer Hamhock’s Prize Greased Pigs. **Hal** gives one a quick tackle and lashes the Doperball to it with a bungee cord. The little oinker joins his friends in tearing ass around the field. Hot on his heels is… ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/309 "2005-06-24T21:35:50Z")
The pig sees **Greenback** hanging out near the goal line eating an apple. The pig charges, knocking **Greenback** over, and slides into the goal happily eating the apple. **Greenback** raises his hands like this was all part of the plan… GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/310 "2005-06-24T21:44:31Z")
> [@Greenback](#): > > The pig sees **Greenback** hanging out near the goal line eating an apple. The pig charges, knocking **Greenback** over, and slides into the goal happily eating the apple. > **Greenback** raises his hands like this was all part of the plan… > GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!! Actually, yours was just the second touch – Hal put the ball in play after **the4thmooncat** scored. So I pick the ball up, drop it back into the goal, and SCORE another point for the Ferrets! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/311 "2005-06-24T21:57:32Z")
Allow me to refresh the listing of teams: Team 1: Apparently everybody else Team 2: **Priceguy** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/312 "2005-06-24T23:34:25Z")
Dog my cats. Didn’t know we’d started up again! Quickly doffing my official Benny and the Jets mohair suit, but keeping the electric boots, I grab the doperball and plasma shift my way towards the goal before passing to… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/313 "2005-06-25T01:00:01Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Dog my cats. Didn’t know we’d started up again! Quickly doffing my official Benny and the Jets mohair suit, but keeping the electric boots, I grab the doperball and plasma shift my way towards the goal before passing to… **featherlou** grabs the ball (can we just call it a Teh Ball and save me re-typing that every time?) and punts it down field for… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/314 "2005-06-25T01:01:57Z")
And BY the way, I’ve been in this game since it started, Mr. PriceGuy who forgets who is also playing. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/315 "2005-06-25T01:23:39Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > **featherlou** grabs the ball (can we just call it a Teh Ball and save me re-typing that every time?) and punts it down field for… **gardentraveler** who, in a rare moment of grace, begins to juggle the ball along with an empty beer bottle and a stray margarita glass. That doesn’t last long, as it turns out that the beer bottle and margarita glass weren’t actually empty. Oops. Covered in an icky combination of liquids, she flings the ball away from herself along with the other previously juggled objects and… GT ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/316 "2005-06-25T02:33:40Z")
Gah! I fell asleep for almost an entire day! Anyway, I think the score is 5-0, Rabid Ferrets. If anybody wants to quibble, go ahead, I’m very likely wrong. Let’s go, Team 2! Do some recruiting before I have to make some “creative” calls. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/317 "2005-06-25T02:48:46Z")
I am entirely drunk and all the scrolling to figure out which person is on which team is making me dizzy but I think I get it from **gardentraveler** for a second touch? PIZZA!! ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/318 "2005-06-25T03:00:59Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > I am entirely drunk and all the scrolling to figure out which person is on which team is making me dizzy but I think I get it from **gardentraveler** for a second touch? > PIZZA!! Woo Hoo! Odin comes from nowhere grabbing the ball, tossing it from hand to hand, passing it behind his back and under his legs. He balances it on his head as he does a dance. Whooping with delight, he throws the ball like a cannon. The head coach of the Pistons smacks his head and says, “I fwe had had him on the team, we would have won!” ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/319 "2005-06-25T03:27:34Z")
Chance for a two-pointer. . . ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064/320 "2005-06-25T03:59:43Z")
I take the pass from **Odinoneeye** , take a sip of beer, a sip of a margarita, and then kick the ball in for two points! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-iv-the-subtitling/309064.md?page=17)