# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/21 "2005-09-02T17:25:20Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > … and Candid gets in the way, casually tossing the ball away… …straight over to **Hal**. He quickly runs to the sideline, whips out a crowbar and starts opening up the massive packing crate sitting there (huh…how’d we miss _that_ before). He pulls out the Acme[sup]TM[/sup] brand Giganto-Slingshot, loads up the Doperball, and sends it screaming into the stratosphere. Twelve minutes later, it finally returns earthward, straight into the waiting arms of… Double with cheese, hold the tomato, and a Biggie fries please, Ms. Ref. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/22 "2005-09-02T17:28:50Z")
… **Snakescatlady** grabs the ball from a distracted **Candid** , trips over the cat (where did the cat come from?) and falls on her face, losing possession to… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/23 "2005-09-02T17:49:45Z")
D’oh! That was an illegal touch, **Snakescatlady**! I had possession, not **CG** …hurry back in and you can tip it for the score! ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/24 "2005-09-02T17:51:20Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > D’oh! That was an illegal touch, **Snakescatlady**! I had possession, not **CG** …hurry back in and you can tip it for the score! Unless someone else gets there first, like me. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/25 "2005-09-02T18:21:57Z")
Okay, Ref’s back, here’s your food, let’s review … **CG** to **Hal** , intercepted by **little\*bit** for Team Two … ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/26 "2005-09-02T18:29:28Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Okay, Ref’s back, here’s your food, let’s review … > > **CG** to **Hal** , intercepted by **little\*bit** for Team Two … Intercepted by twicks, who wants to know why the ref didn’t bring _her_ anything to eat. While engaged in lively discussion with the ref, another player sneaks behind her and grabs the ball. That wily athlete is … ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/27 "2005-09-02T18:34:01Z")
You didn’t _ask_, **twicks** but I’ll be happy to share my fries. Not my Frosty, though. Chocolatey fake-dairy goodness _all for me_. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/28 "2005-09-02T18:38:10Z")
You da woman! **wanders off, munching some fries** ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/29 "2005-09-02T18:40:49Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Intercepted by twicks, who wants to know why the ref didn’t bring _her_ anything to eat. While engaged in lively discussion with the ref, another player sneaks behind her and grabs the ball. That wily athlete is … … Candid, apparently bucking for MVP, as he keeps the ball alive… ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/30 "2005-09-02T19:24:42Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > … Candid, apparently bucking for MVP, as he keeps the ball alive… **bouv** catches the no look pass gracefully and, seeing as his team is ahead, tries for the double point and lobs the ball off to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/31 "2005-09-02T19:37:55Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > **bouv** catches the no look pass gracefully and, seeing as his team is ahead, tries for the double point and lobs the ball off to… …twicks, who scores. Well, she heads down to the goal line, anyway, looking really, really confused. This team sport thing confuses the hell out of her. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/32 "2005-09-02T19:43:00Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > **bouv** catches the no look pass gracefully and, seeing as his team is ahead, tries for the double point and lobs the ball off to… … **Hal** , who notes the look of confusion on **twickster** ’s face, reminds her that once you touch the ball, you can’t touch it again until there is a score or turnover, and then lofts it into the goal for two. Woohoo! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/33 "2005-09-02T19:46:19Z")
**retreats to sidelines, grabbing some pom-poms from a passing pom-pom purveyor** ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/34 "2005-09-02T19:49:00Z")
**Hal’s** goal for two brings the score up to 4-0. Team Two’s gettin’ _spanked_. But not in the good way. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/35 "2005-09-02T20:12:28Z")
**This Just In …** The referee gets to go home at 4:30. Calvinball rules apply until I return. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/36 "2005-09-02T20:29:42Z")
I’m no good at these things. I really should just watch from over here. Do I have the ball? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/37 "2005-09-02T20:32:36Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > ``` > I'm no good at these things. I really should just watch from over here. > > ``` > > Do I have the ball?! The ball bounces off of **Feydeau** ’s head. **WhyNot** nabs the ball again, and looks around frantically for someone else on Team 2 to pass it too. Giving up, she heaves it high in the air and runs to **Draelin** , offering her a bottle of mead and some very fine dark chocolate to take home with her. Bribery is really Team 2’s only option at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/38 "2005-09-02T20:34:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > **WhyNot** nabs the ball again, and looks around frantically for someone else on Team 2 to pass it too. …but instead finds a Flying Apteryx waiting to block the goal. **Hal** stops the Team 1 drive, and wings the ball downfield to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/39 "2005-09-02T20:41:02Z")
…twickster, who stops in mid cartwheel – team loyalties are impossible to break – and with a flick of her pom-pom, sends the ball spiraling off to … ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/40 "2005-09-02T20:51:32Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …twickster, who stops in mid cartwheel – team loyalties are impossible to break – and with a flick of her pom-pom, sends the ball spiraling off to … **WhyNot** , who sighs halfheartedly and starts making burgers for the Flying Apteryxes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=3)