# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/381 "2005-09-06T08:05:55Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Ok, I got it. > In the goal it goes. Plop! Not quite, but almost, for before it can go in the goal, **Enterprise** touches it, thus bringing the Leprous Lemurs (or what was it?) ahead 3-1! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/382 "2005-09-06T09:47:51Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > Not quite, but almost, for before it can go in the goal, **Enterprise** touches it, thus bringing the Leprous Lemurs (or what was it?) ahead 3-1! Well, so much for the stealth start-up strategy. At least the nameless ones finally have a name. What was it again? Something about lepers? 😃 **gardentraveler** , who has been awake for longer than she cares to admit and finally just got up, balances her coffee on the rather deflated Doperball and ponders her next move. Ah yes, it is a pawn in our little chess game. She moves it forward one space and… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/383 "2005-09-06T11:42:54Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > Well, so much for the stealth start-up strategy. At least the nameless ones finally have a name. What was it again? Something about lepers? 😃 > **gardentraveler** , who has been awake for longer than she cares to admit and finally just got up, balances her coffee on the rather deflated Doperball and ponders her next move. Ah yes, it is a pawn in our little chess game. She moves it forward one space and… **twicks** , who’d been sleeping peacefully assuming that the ball was safely ensconced Chez **Feydeau** for a few hours [once again proving what happens when we assume]… uh … what day is it? Really? So, like, I have to go to work? … …idly moves the ball to Queen’s Bishop Four. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/384 "2005-09-06T13:32:30Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who’d been sleeping peacefully assuming that the ball was safely ensconced Chez **Feydeau** for a few hours [once again proving what happens when we assume]… uh … what day is it? Really? So, like, I have to go to work? … > > …idly moves the ball to Queen’s Bishop Four. **Snakescatlady** removes the ball from the chessboard, replacing it with a cat. I look around to see if anyone is playing and replace the ball on the chessboard, where the cat bats it to… ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/385 "2005-09-06T13:32:30Z")
Holy crap!! The ref returns from a tiring weekend to discover that all hell broke loose … and unfortunately she’s got too much work to do and can’t read all the posts … so, um … Good game, everybody! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/386 "2005-09-06T13:37:05Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > **Snakescatlady** removes the ball from the chessboard, replacing it with a cat. I look around to see if anyone is playing and replace the ball on the chessboard, where the cat bats it to… **twicks** , who thinks lynx should be excluded from the game, but maybe that’s just her. She distracts the lynx by pointing to a nice yummy Lemur and meanwhile passes the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/387 "2005-09-06T15:43:51Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who thinks lynx should be excluded from the game, but maybe that’s just her. She distracts the lynx by pointing to a nice yummy Lemur and meanwhile passes the ball to … … **Feydeau** , freshly up for the morning, and noticing the distinct presence of a helluva lot of cats. Walking out the door, he hands the ball (sans cat fur) to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/388 "2005-09-06T16:10:38Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , freshly up for the morning, and noticing the distinct presence of a helluva lot of cats. Walking out the door, he hands the ball (sans cat fur) to… **Sternvogel** , who’s taking a break between washing yesterday’s dishes and preparing pork chops for today’s lunch. Hoping that the action picks up and that a neutral referee (maybe someone whose screen name begins with a numeral or punctuation mark) volunteers to take over for the swamped **Draelin** , I drop the ball in a pan of soapy water, whence it is fished out by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/389 "2005-09-06T16:17:29Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who’s taking a break between washing yesterday’s dishes and preparing pork chops for today’s lunch. Hoping that the action picks up and that a neutral referee (maybe someone whose screen name begins with a numeral or punctuation mark) volunteers to take over for the swamped **Draelin** , I drop the ball in a pan of soapy water, whence it is fished out by… **twicks** , who is astonished to notice that the ball seems to have shrunk in the wash. She gives it a tentative bounce, and discovers that it has taken on super-bouncy properties as a result, so she throws it at the scoreboard, whence it caroms toward… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/390 "2005-09-06T17:04:53Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who is astonished to notice that the ball seems to have shrunk in the wash. She gives it a tentative bounce, and discovers that it has taken on super-bouncy properties as a result, so she throws it at the scoreboard, whence it caroms toward… …the incredibly beautiful forehead of **Priceguy** , who leaps into the fray once more. With a series of impeccably coordinated somersaults he manages to catch the wildly bouncing ball between his feet, and starts to run on his hands towards the goal. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/391 "2005-09-06T18:09:16Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > …the incredibly beautiful forehead of **Priceguy** , who leaps into the fray once more. With a series of impeccably coordinated somersaults he manages to catch the wildly bouncing ball between his feet, and starts to run on his hands towards the goal. **Sternvogel** extracts the ball from between said feet, and looks around until he spots an eligible receiver. He slings a bullet pass to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/392 "2005-09-06T18:14:41Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** extracts the ball from between said feet, and looks around until he spots an eligible receiver. He slings a bullet pass to… … **Feydeau** who intercepts and looks wildly around for another Hairy A. Seeing none, he projects the ball into a small, non-obvious wrinkle in the space-time continuum. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/393 "2005-09-06T18:34:35Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who intercepts and looks wildly around for another Hairy A. Seeing none, he projects the ball into a small, non-obvious wrinkle in the space-time continuum. Nevertheless, **Sternvogel** is attempting to go back to the November 22, 1963 version of Dallas in order to settle the John F. Kennedy assasination controversy once and for all when he happens upon the wrinkle and teleports the ball through a wormhole, from which it emerges into the hands of… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/394 "2005-09-06T18:39:31Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Nevertheless, **Sternvogel** is attempting to go back to the November 22, 1963 version of Dallas in order to settle the John F. Kennedy assasination controversy once and for all when he happens upon the wrinkle and teleports the ball through a wormhole, from which it emerges into the hands of… … **Feydeau** , who receives the ball unceremoniously on July 4, 1976, while watching (on TV) the tall ships parade in Boston harbour (I was seven, it was pretty impressive at the time…) The ball, bright green now from the ravages of time travel, is retrieved by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/395 "2005-09-06T18:41:23Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who intercepts and looks wildly around for another Hairy A. Seeing none, he projects the ball into a small, non-obvious wrinkle in the space-time continuum. Luckily, **twicks** grew up reading and rereading _A Wrinkle in Time_, so she tessers on over from her cubicle to retrieve the ball; whereupon she sticks it in the pocket of her skirt and saunters toward the goal – interrupted by a series of importunate cow-orkers, who don’t seem to realize she’s in the middle of a game of Doper Ball here, so she passes off the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/396 "2005-09-06T18:41:25Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , who receives the ball unceremoniously on July 4, 1976, while watching (on TV) the tall ships parade in Boston harbour (I was seven, it was pretty impressive at the time…) > > The ball, bright green now from the ravages of time travel, is retrieved by… **Enterprise** , rather puzzled by the concept all of the time travel, which was resulted in him having to memorize a lot of new kings. He therefore pitches the ball over the statue of King Carl II. of Southern Virginia… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/397 "2005-09-06T18:42:45Z")
Hmph. Luckily my post still makes sense, even with the wrong lead-in. (This way I don’t have to explain what I was doing on the Bicentennial – let’s just say I was of age and there were drugs involved.) ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/398 "2005-09-06T18:43:29Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Luckily, **twicks** grew up reading and rereading _A Wrinkle in Time_, so she tessers on over from her cubicle to retrieve the ball; whereupon she sticks it in the pocket of her skirt and saunters toward the goal – interrupted by a series of importunate cow-orkers, who don’t seem to realize she’s in the middle of a game of Doper Ball here, so she passes off the ball to … … **Enterprise** , blushing for the simulpost and bad grammar. Red in the face, he is mistaken by his fellow lemurs for a baboon, and loses the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/399 "2005-09-06T18:44:06Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > **Enterprise** , rather puzzled by the concept all of the time travel, which was resulted in him having to memorize a lot of new kings. He therefore pitches the ball over the statue of King Carl II. of Southern Virginia… …to **twicks** , who’s gonna have to go pick up her pom-poms for a while, but first tosses the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/400 "2005-09-06T18:47:44Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …to **twicks** , who’s gonna have to go pick up her pom-poms for a while, but first tosses the ball to … … **Feydeau** who hurriedly tosses the ball to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=21)