# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/401 "2005-09-06T18:49:01Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > Just so’s someone can keep this straight: > Team 1 (Hairy A’s): > A B C F G H I M N O T U Y > Team 2 (They Who Must Not Been Named cuz otherwise they might notice that Doperball VII has started): > D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z From the previous page, just to keep it fresh. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/402 "2005-09-06T19:02:46Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who hurriedly tosses the ball to… **Sternvogel**. who’s threatening Dick “Night Train” Lane’s record for interceptions in a season, and passes off (while reminding **Feydeau** that the formerly nameless team is now the Larruping Lemurs) to… ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/403 "2005-09-06T19:13:17Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel**. who’s threatening Dick “Night Train” Lane’s record for interceptions in a season, and passes off (while reminding **Feydeau** that the formerly nameless team is now the Larruping Lemurs) to… … **Enterprise** , who is glad that no lepers are actually involved in his team. After checking that he definitely is of the striped-tail variety of Lemur, he passes the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/404 "2005-09-06T19:22:29Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > … **Enterprise** , who is glad that no lepers are actually involved in his team. After checking that he definitely is of the striped-tail variety of Lemur, he passes the ball to… … **Feydeau** who really should be getting some work done, so decides to miniaturize the DoperBall and insert it into this here computer… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/405 "2005-09-06T19:24:07Z")
For the record, my sponsorship contract with Mt. Dew clearly stipulates that I can only play in officially sanctioned games. Hence my absence… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/406 "2005-09-06T19:39:55Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who really should be getting some work done, so decides to miniaturize the DoperBall and insert it into this here computer… …which is immediately hacked by **Priceguy**. He downloads the ball, burns it to a CD and FedExes the CD to the closest teammate. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/407 "2005-09-06T19:42:01Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who really should be getting some work done, so decides to miniaturize the DoperBall and insert it into this here computer… Reminding **honeydewgrrl** that many early pro football players performed under assumed names on Sunday after taking the gridiron for college teams the day before, but then remembering the **SDMB** ban on sock puppets and thus making clear that he is not advocating any playing fast and loose with the rules, **Sternvogel** discovers that his computer “bug” is actually the ball, and e-mails it to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/408 "2005-09-06T19:43:55Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > …which is immediately hacked by **Priceguy**. He downloads the ball, burns it to a CD and FedExes the CD to the closest teammate. However, in a scandalous theft of a very suspicious-looking package, **Feydeau** gets the CD and tosses it, all Frisbee-like, to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/409 "2005-09-06T19:44:05Z")
Sometimes a bug is, after all, just a bug. **Sternvogel** corrects his previous post, accepts the Fed Ex delivery from **Priceguy** , and forwards the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/410 "2005-09-06T19:45:49Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Sometimes a bug is, after all, just a bug. **Sternvogel** corrects his previous post, accepts the Fed Ex delivery from **Priceguy** , and forwards the ball to… Ha!! Smackdown! TWICE IN A ROW!! (and, yeah, if anyone wants to correct the team listing from earlier this page, but it ain’t my team, so…) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/411 "2005-09-06T19:46:50Z")
Cursing the slow response times inherent in his dial-up connection, **Sternvogel** snags \*\*Feydeau]/b]'s Frisbee-like toss and bounces the Doperball-disc off the pavement to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/412 "2005-09-06T19:52:26Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Cursing the slow response times inherent in his dial-up connection, **Sternvogel** snags **Feydeau** ’s Frisbee-like toss and bounces the Doperball-disc off the pavement to… … **Feydeau** in a bizarre mirroring of the space-time continuum. The DoperBallCD thingy morphs into a cat and is picked up by… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/413 "2005-09-06T19:55:52Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** in a bizarre mirroring of the space-time continuum. The DoperBallCD thingy morphs into a cat and is picked up by… …me. Because I’m such a sucker for a cute kitty! Of course the papers the next morning have a field day, “Doperball star, honeydewgrrl, forfeits lucrative sponsorship contract when caught picking up pussy on the street corner.” Drowning my sorrows in a local watering hole, I neglect to pay attention to the cat that may have ruined my career, and it wanders down the alley toward… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/414 "2005-09-06T20:06:30Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > …me. Because I’m such a sucker for a cute kitty! > > Of course the papers the next morning have a field day, “Doperball star, honeydewgrrl, forfeits lucrative sponsorship contract when caught picking up pussy on the street corner.” > > Drowning my sorrows in a local watering hole, I neglect to pay attention to the cat that may have ruined my career, and it wanders down the alley toward… **Sternvogel** , who wonders if **honeydewgrrl** ’s piano-playing friend in North Dakota is a current or future **Doper**. I take the cat-ball to the Purdue veterinary school, where my lesbian vet tech friend Crystal gives it some food. It is then placed in a holding cage, but let loose by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/415 "2005-09-06T20:07:18Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Drowning my sorrows in a local watering hole, I neglect to pay attention to the cat that may have ruined my career, and it wanders down the alley toward… … **twicks** , who _does_ have work to do, dammit, but who has to drop the pom-poms and head to the field when the Hairy A’s need her, so she grabs the cat which she hopes like hell is the ball and drugs it into submission with some catnip, whereupon… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/416 "2005-09-06T20:08:55Z")
Hm, wrong lead-in, but good play, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/417 "2005-09-06T20:10:52Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … **twicks** , who _does_ have work to do, dammit, but who has to drop the pom-poms and head to the field when the Hairy A’s need her, so she grabs the cat which she hopes like hell is the ball and drugs it into submission with some catnip, whereupon… **Feydeau** drops by while still trying to work (here, can you hold this monitor? thanks.), picks up the cat, which is purring loudly, and wanders off to another jobsite, cat in tow. Somewhere between here and there, though, the furball seems to have wandered off, to be picked up by… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/418 "2005-09-06T20:15:21Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** drops by while still trying to work (here, can you hold this monitor? thanks.), picks up the cat, which is purring loudly, and wanders off to another jobsite, cat in tow. > > Somewhere between here and there, though, the furball seems to have wandered off, to be picked up by… **Sternvogel** , who’s not exactly a “cat person”, and thus palms the feline off on… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/419 "2005-09-06T20:18:16Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Sternvogel, who’s not exactly a “cat person”, and thus palms the feline off on… …me again. I stumble upon the poor beast in a drunken stupor. In my altered state I perceive it as Punxsutawney Phil, who (of course) I ask if he can see my shadow, and to remind me wether it is the yes or no answer that means everyone gets free pie. I decide to take Phil to the nearest bus-stop so he can get home. He arrives on the #57 where… > [@](#): > > Sternvogel, who wonders if honeydewgrrl’s piano-playing friend in North Dakota is a current or future Doper. She humors me by reading the many posts and threads I send her, but I don’t believe she has any current or future plans to come onboard. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/420 "2005-09-06T20:20:28Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > …me again. I stumble upon the poor beast in a drunken stupor. In my altered state I perceive it as Punxsutawney Phil, who (of course) I ask if he can see my shadow, and to remind me wether it is the yes or no answer that means everyone gets free pie. I decide to take Phil to the nearest bus-stop so he can get home. He arrives on the #57 where… How’d I get on this bus? **Feydeau** recognizes the cat and promptly exits the bus with the cat, arriving in downtown Tokyo, where… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=22)