# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/461 "2005-09-06T23:11:16Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **GT** , who can’t remember having names attached to the squares. I’m sure it will come back to me though. Eventually. Also, I don’t think we called it four square, but this was eons ago. Anyway, she bounces the ball gracefully to the occupant of the Queen spot… Which happens to be me (of course, as a guy, I’m the rock group Queen, not a female monarch). I lob the ball to the Jack square, which is filled by… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/462 "2005-09-06T23:17:00Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Which happens to be me (of course, as a guy, I’m the rock group Queen, not a female monarch). I lob the ball to the Jack square, which is filled by… **Feydeau** , who would be more at home in the Queen spot, but oh well. I bounce it to the slave spot, containing… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/463 "2005-09-06T23:19:28Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , who would be more at home in the Queen spot, but oh well. > > I bounce it to the slave spot, containing… **GT** , hoping that more of our teammates will show up. I’m tired of this four-square stuff, let’s move on to dodgeball. I slam the ball at the opposing team and… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/464 "2005-09-06T23:23:48Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **GT** , hoping that more of our teammates will show up. I’m tired of this four-square stuff, let’s move on to dodgeball. I slam the ball at the opposing team and… **Sternvogel** expertly dodges the ball, then heaves it toward the Apteryxs, where it hits the head of… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/465 "2005-09-06T23:24:49Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** expertly dodges the ball, then heaves it toward the Apteryxs, where it hits the head of… **Feydeau**. OUCH! I grab the ball and toss it thataway… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/466 "2005-09-06T23:26:56Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** expertly dodges the ball, then heaves it toward the Apteryxs, where it hits the head of… **danceswithcats** who looks around to see who biffed him, mutters something unintelligible and likely profane before hurling the ball towards… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/467 "2005-09-06T23:26:58Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau**. OUCH! > > I grab the ball and toss it thataway… where **GT** remembers that she really liked playing jacks. She bounces the ball and picks up 5 jacks at once and… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/468 "2005-09-06T23:29:19Z")
so much for that plan. Instead I’ll pull out an official Gilligan™ brand cocoanut and bamboo bat, and snag the ball from **Feydeau** before sending the ball with a mighty whap on to… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/469 "2005-09-06T23:35:01Z")
razzin frazzin dial-up. OK, three’s gotta be a charm. I’l take the pass from **gardentraveler** and kick it to… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/470 "2005-09-06T23:40:01Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > razzin frazzin dial-up. OK, three’s gotta be a charm. I’l take the pass from **gardentraveler** and kick it to… **gardentraveler** , who is more than happy to kick it over to… (are we playing soccer? kickball? kick the can? hey, it _could_ happen!)… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/471 "2005-09-07T00:09:06Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** , who is more than happy to kick it over to… **Sternvogel** , who has just finished his supper of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Wondering if this mention will land him a lucrative contract similar to the one **honeydewgrrl** had with Mountain Dew, he boots the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/472 "2005-09-07T00:38:06Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who has just finished his supper of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Wondering if this mention will land him a lucrative contract similar to the one **honeydewgrrl** had with Mountain Dew, he boots the ball to… **GT** , who is hoping for a contract to promote Oprah’s favorite chicken salad, which she had for dinner at Wild Oats (does that mean I should try for 2 contracts?). Since she needs to accomplish something tonight, she turns the Doperball into a laptop and opens the project plan for this evening’s activities. The next task is to continue the laundry. She marks this task as ‘in progress’ and… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/473 "2005-09-07T00:41:51Z")
**Snakescatlady** trades the laptop/doperball for a gently purring cat and runs toward the goal to SCORE! ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/474 "2005-09-07T00:47:52Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > **Snakescatlady** trades the laptop/doperball for a gently purring cat and runs toward the goal to SCORE! **Ronin** takes the handoff from **Snakescatlady** and heads onward dodging tackles and robots at every turn. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/475 "2005-09-07T00:50:15Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > **Snakescatlady** trades the laptop/doperball for a gently purring cat and runs toward the goal to SCORE! Except **GT** isn’t on our team. But **ronin** is, and I complete the scoring drive with a GOAL that puts up up 5-2! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/476 "2005-09-07T00:55:21Z")
\*\*GT \*\* is greatly troubled by this development as she was ready to wrest the ball from **Snakescatlady** when all of a sudden there were two more plays resulting in another score for the wrong team. She contemplates the possibility of taking teams back to the original line-up, but that would leave **Ronin** alone on one side. She knows she can be brave. And she’s getting awful babbly again, so she figures someone has to pick the ball up and start the next play. She grabs the ball, closes her eyes, taps her ruby slippers and hopes that if she gets home there will be lots more Hairy A’s on the field… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/477 "2005-09-07T00:57:15Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > \*\*GT \*\* is greatly troubled by this development as she was ready to wrest the ball from **Snakescatlady** when all of a sudden there were two more plays resulting in another score for the wrong team. She contemplates the possibility of taking teams back to the original line-up, but that would leave **Ronin** alone on one side. She knows she can be brave. And she’s getting awful babbly again, so she figures someone has to pick the ball up and start the next play. She grabs the ball, closes her eyes, taps her ruby slippers and hopes that if she gets home there will be lots more Hairy A’s on the field… Well, there may be, but I’ve got the ball now. Which Lemur wants it? ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/478 "2005-09-07T00:59:43Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > \*\*GT \*\* is greatly troubled by this development as she was ready to wrest the ball from **Snakescatlady** when all of a sudden there were two more plays resulting in another score for the wrong team. She contemplates the possibility of taking teams back to the original line-up, but that would leave **Ronin** alone on one side. She knows she can be brave. And she’s getting awful babbly again, so she figures someone has to pick the ball up and start the next play. She grabs the ball, closes her eyes, taps her ruby slippers and hopes that if she gets home there will be lots more Hairy A’s on the field… Ronin, still pumped off the last score sprints down the field with his magic broom carrying him at near the speed of sound. He swoops down on GT and reaching out like Harry for the Snitch and yet his broom handling skills are no where near Harry’s level. So as he reaches out he knocks the ball from GT’s grasp only to immediately lose control and fall off the broom. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/479 "2005-09-07T01:01:44Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Well, there may be, but I’ve got the ball now. Which Lemur wants it? Ronin, realizes he was going so fast he broke the time space continuum and as he thought he was knocking the ball from GT he found that he actually had not knocked a pumpkin off a target instead of the ball from GT. So he leaps up and dives onto a vacant hoverboard and goes zooming down field to get a pass from **Sternvogel**. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/480 "2005-09-07T01:05:29Z")
> [@ronincyberpunk](#): > > Ronin, realizes he was going so fast he broke the time space continuum and as he thought he was knocking the ball from GT he found that he actually had not knocked a pumpkin off a target instead of the ball from GT. So he leaps up and dives onto a vacant hoverboard and goes zooming down field to get a pass from **Sternvogel**. GT is intrigued by the concept of hoverboards and climbs aboad one after finding out that they cost $16.01, an amount she happens to have just fished out of the washer. She is able to maintain her balance AND hold onto the Doperball until… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=25)