# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/561 "2005-09-07T18:50:21Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … but Princess Passionflower (er, **twicks** ), who’s apparently now channeling Esther Williams, swims up in a dainty breast stroke (heh. she said “breast.”) and retrieves the ball, balancing it on her nose. Imagine her astonishment when … … **Priceguy** , cleverly disguised as a ninja cleverly disguised as a jackelope, shoots out of the water like a surface-to-air missile, grabs the ball between his massive pecs and starts swimming for the beach. ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/562 "2005-09-07T18:52:45Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > … **Priceguy** , cleverly disguised as a ninja cleverly disguised as a jackelope, shoots out of the water like a surface-to-air missile, grabs the ball between his massive pecs and starts swimming for the beach. There, **Enterprise** , briefly considering whacking **Priceguy** as well ('twas a send-away whack I got meself!) finally settles on helping him out of the water and taking the ball in custody. While cleaning the sand from between his toes, however, the ball… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/563 "2005-09-07T18:56:52Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > There, Enterprise, briefly considering whacking Priceguy as well ('twas a send-away whack I got meself!) finally settles on helping him out of the water and taking the ball in custody. While cleaning the sand from between his toes, however, the ball… … trickles to **Sternvogel** , who continues the education of **Feydeau** by pointing out that Cedar Point is on Lake Erie, at the opposite end of the Buckeye State from the Ohio River. I preview, see that nobody else has posted as I composed this message, and pass to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/564 "2005-09-07T18:59:59Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > … trickles to **Sternvogel** , who continues the education of **Feydeau** by pointing out that Cedar Point is on Lake Erie, at the opposite end of the Buckeye State from the Ohio River. I preview, see that nobody else has posted as I composed this message, and pass to… Me, who hoofs it through th goal, then does a very excessive victory dance. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/565 "2005-09-07T19:03:42Z")
With our lead now 8-2, I put the ball into play for the Lemurs by packing it aboard the _S.S. Minnow_ as a tribute to the late Bob Denver. The tiny ship is tossed on the waves, and washes up on the shore of… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/566 "2005-09-07T19:05:35Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > With our lead now 8-2, I put the ball into play for the Lemurs by packing it aboard the _S.S. Minnow_ as a tribute to the late Bob Denver. The tiny ship is tossed on the waves, and washes up on the shore of… …the isle of Rhodes, where **Priceguy** happens to be vacationing. Yawning in the morning sun, he stretches his arms and accidentally hits the ball, which rolls away and… ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/567 "2005-09-07T19:09:35Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > …the isle of Rhodes, where **Priceguy** happens to be vacationing. Yawning in the morning sun, he stretches his arms and accidentally hits the ball, which rolls away and… …allows **Enterprise** to score the quickest goal in Doperball VII’s history? Quick, without preview…YAY! 9:2! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/568 "2005-09-07T19:11:18Z")
With two points separating the Lemurs from victory, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play and hopes for a repeat of the last sequence. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/569 "2005-09-07T19:12:42Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > With two points separating the Lemurs from victory, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play and hopes for a repeat of the last sequence. **Feydeau** grabs it and passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/570 "2005-09-07T19:13:32Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > With two points separating the Lemurs from victory, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play and hopes for a repeat of the last sequence. Hope away, lemurboy – **twicks** parachutes in, grabs the ball, dons a rocket pack, and jets off… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/571 "2005-09-07T19:14:57Z")
Clarification: **twicks** parachutes in, grabs the ball **from Feydeau** , dons a rocket pack, and jets off… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/572 "2005-09-07T19:19:50Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Clarification: **twicks** parachutes in, grabs the ball **from Feydeau** , dons a rocket pack, and jets off… … but somehow lands at the Purdue airport, where **Sternvogel** has just gone up in a Cessna for the first time, as a passenger of one of his friends. Relieved that he also managed to come back down, he passes the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/573 "2005-09-07T19:21:56Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > … but somehow lands at the Purdue airport, where **Sternvogel** has just gone up in a Cessna for the first time, as a passenger of one of his friends. Relieved that he also managed to come back down, he passes the ball to… **Feydeau** who will happily remain on the ground, thankyewverymuch. Relieved that he is still on the ground, he passes to… ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/574 "2005-09-07T19:22:43Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > … but somehow lands at the Purdue airport, where Sternvogel has just gone up in a Cessna for the first time, as a passenger of one of his friends. Relieved that he also managed to come back down, he passes the ball to… … **Enterprise** , who is also glad that **Sternvogel** made it back. Overwhelmed by the joy of it all, he doesn’t see… ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/575 "2005-09-07T19:24:51Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > … **Enterprise** , who is also glad that **Sternvogel** made it back. Overwhelmed by the joy of it all, he doesn’t see… …people replying before him, apparently! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/576 "2005-09-07T19:26:12Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** who will happily remain on the ground, thankyewverymuch. > > Relieved that he is still on the ground, he passes to… **Sternvogel** , who hopes **Enterprise** is there to catch this pass… ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/577 "2005-09-07T19:28:49Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who hopes **Enterprise** is there to catch this pass… …pass? What pass? Oh wait look, a ball…what if I give it a little nudge HERE… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/578 "2005-09-07T19:29:23Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who hopes **Enterprise** is there to catch this pass… …but **Feydeau** intercepts (although a double-touch by **Enterprise** would be illegal anyway) and passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/579 "2005-09-07T19:33:09Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > …but **Feydeau** intercepts (although a double-touch by **Enterprise** would be illegal anyway) and passes it to… **Sternvogel** , who realizes **Enterprise** lost out in a simulpost battle and thus never got in a legal touch on that last Lemur possession. Now ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/580 "2005-09-07T19:33:14Z")
> [@](#): > > …but\*\* Feydeau\*\* intercepts (aT\ hen it will hit the lader, which makes the candle v=burn, which drops the weight, which hits a trampoline, and bounces off in and hits… nothing. Stupid rube Goldberger device. Rassing freashing… I pick up the ball and throw it through the goal posts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=30)