# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/41 "2005-09-02T21:00:06Z")
**This Just In Again …** Mead and chocolate beat actual athletic ability any day of the week. Score now stands tied at 4. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/42 "2005-09-02T21:29:33Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > **This Just In Again …** > Mead and chocolate beat actual athletic ability any day of the week. > > Score now stands tied at 4. 😉 Woo-hoo! (Or should that be w00t?) **WhyNot** starts making **kiwi** -mango salsa for the burgers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/43 "2005-09-02T21:51:04Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > **WhyNot** , who sighs halfheartedly and starts making burgers for the Flying Apteryxes. …and **Feydeau** grabs the ball and tosses it to… ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/44 "2005-09-03T00:23:06Z")
**bouv** , who gets the steal! He sends a mighty lob across the entire field praying it lands in the hands of… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/45 "2005-09-03T00:32:44Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > **bouv** , who gets the steal! He sends a mighty lob across the entire field praying it lands in the hands of… … **Snakescatlady** , who drops the ball and throws her margarita to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/46 "2005-09-03T00:35:58Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > … **Snakescatlady** , who drops the ball and throws her margarita to… twicks, who’s not easily fooled – she dives for the ball and catches it, skidding halfway across the field, but holding the ball up so it can be handed off to … ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/47 "2005-09-03T00:44:13Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > twicks, who’s not easily fooled – she dives for the ball and catches it, skidding halfway across the field, but holding the ball up so it can be handed off to … … **Feydeau** who triumphantly steals the ball and tosses it to… ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/48 "2005-09-03T01:11:50Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who triumphantly steals the ball and tosses it to… **bouv** , master of the steal. Who, while cursing **twickster** for not scoring, lobs the ball at… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/49 "2005-09-03T01:20:35Z")
Damn! Sorry! I thought you were on the other team. That’s why I’d be better off as the cheerleader (words I never thought I’d type…) … snags ball from **bouv** and heads for the goal, but is ready to pass it off to … ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/50 "2005-09-03T01:22:35Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Damn! Sorry! I thought you were on the other team. That’s why I’d be better off as the cheerleader (words I never thought I’d type…) > > … snags ball from bouv and heads for the goal, but is ready to pass it off to … … **Strinka** , who does a magnificent dive over the end line. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/51 "2005-09-03T01:27:20Z")
**grabs pom-poms and woo-hoos wildly** ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/52 "2005-09-03T02:08:41Z")
Team 1: A B C G H I M N O S T U Y Team 2: D E F J K L P Q R V W X Z ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/53 "2005-09-03T05:28:49Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > … **Strinka** , who does a magnificent dive over the end line. Now, my understanding is that since three members of Team One have had the ball, **Strinka** diving over the end line with the ball constitutes a score, in which case the ball is back in play… …and **Feydeau** grabs it, looks around confusedly and passes it to … (Now, if **Strinka** actually had to _say_ something along the lines of “I have gotten a point” to get a point, then s/he didn’t and Team One didn’t get that point, in which case I still have the ball.) Can someone explain this all to me, using very small words and possibly some hand gestures? And go slowly, it may take a while for it to all sink in. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/54 "2005-09-03T05:37:56Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > Now, my understanding is that since three members of Team One have had the ball, **Strinka** diving over the end line with the ball constitutes a score, in which case the ball is back in play… > …and **Feydeau** grabs it, looks around confusedly and passes it to … **bouv** , who takes advantager over **Feydeau’s** lack of rules comprehension. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/55 "2005-09-03T05:40:11Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > **bouv** , who takes advantager over **Feydeau’s** lack of rules comprehension. Only to lose the ball to **WhyNot** , who clearly shoves it towards \*\*Feydeau \*\*and prays someone else from Team 2 shows up so \*\*Feydeau \*\*can pass it to someone who can score. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/56 "2005-09-03T05:53:58Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Only to lose the ball to **WhyNot** , who clearly shoves it towards **Feydeau** and prays someone else from Team 2 shows up so \*\*Feydeau \*\*can pass it to someone who can score. However, **Sternvogel** (who learned there was a game on just as he was about to hit the hay) steps into the passing lane, grabs the ball, and puts it under his pillow, only to hear a loud knock at his door. He groggily wakes up long enough to hand off to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/57 "2005-09-03T06:13:13Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > However, **Sternvogel** (who learned there was a game on just as he was about to hit the hay) steps into the passing lane, grabs the ball, and puts it under his pillow, only to hear a loud knock at his door. He groggily wakes up long enough to hand off to… … **Feydeau** , who wonders (again) why he’s even here. Suddenly, the ball is grabbed by… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/58 "2005-09-03T06:18:55Z")
(slight hijack) You know, just looking at the two teams, the alphabetic distribution seems heavily in favor of Team One. I’m just sayin’. (/slight hijack) ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/59 "2005-09-03T06:22:50Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , who wonders (again) why he’s even here. Suddenly, the ball is grabbed by… **Monstre** , who alphabetically distributes himself in front of the ball, snaps it up, and runs into the stands with it. Raising his hand and calling for a cotton candy, the ball accidentally slips out and flies up into the air… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/60 "2005-09-03T06:34:39Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > **Monstre** , who alphabetically distributes himself in front of the ball, snaps it up, and runs into the stands with it. Raising his hand and calling for a cotton candy, the ball accidentally slips out and flies up into the air… …where **Feydeau** leaps up and grabs it. Running _very quickly_ away from **Monstre** , he passes it to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=4)