# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 30
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/581 "2005-09-07T19:33:20Z")
Wait, I’m confused… **Feydeau** caught the ball I had prepared my witty and sentimental “glad you made it back” for, so I was allowed to touch it after **Sternvogel** passed on, no? And since I beat **Feydeau** by a meagre minute just now, it’s still just lacking a third Lemur touch? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/582 "2005-09-07T19:34:25Z")
No, wait, I grab it from Enterprise. I priviewed, and then hit the submit butti=on by accident) ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/583 "2005-09-07T19:35:27Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who realizes **Enterprise** lost out in a simulpost battle and thus never got in a legal touch on that last Lemur possession. Now Let me try again. I grab the ball, and hoof it without realizing where I am going. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/584 "2005-09-07T19:37:44Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > Wait, I’m confused… **Feydeau** caught the ball I had prepared my witty and sentimental “glad you made it back” for, so I was allowed to touch it after **Sternvogel** passed on, no? And since I beat **Feydeau** by a meagre minute just now, it’s still just lacking a third Lemur touch? **Enterprise** had it, then **Sternvogel** had it (hoping to pass back to **Enterprise** ). But you can’t touch the ball again unless it scores or goes to the other team. Which it has now. I think. Eh, I dunno. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/585 "2005-09-07T19:44:13Z")
Yes, **Enterprise** , I got possession by stealing from **Feydeau** at 2:26 after he intercepted my toss at 2:21, so you were an eligible receiver, as your two intervening posts were both nullified. Nobody’s directly responded to your 2:28 post yet, so it’s still our ball. On preview, I see **Scott** got a legal touch at 2:34, but passed up a scoring opportunity. So we can finish it off here, as long as a fourth Lemur is around. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/586 "2005-09-07T19:47:31Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Yes, **Enterprise** , I got possession by stealing from **Feydeau** at 2:26 after he intercepted my toss at 2:21, so you were an eligible receiver, as your two intervening posts were both nullified. Nobody’s directly responded to your 2:28 post yet, so it’s still our ball. On preview, I see **Scott** got a legal touch at 2:34, but passed up a scoring opportunity. So we can finish it off here, as long as a fourth Lemur is around. But – and it’s a very big but! – there is no fourth Lemur in sight, so **Feydeau** grabs the ball, and promptly goes into yon cave. For a nap. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/587 "2005-09-07T19:54:45Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > But – and it’s a very big but! – there is no fourth Lemur in sight, so **Feydeau** grabs the ball, and promptly goes into yon cave. > > For a nap. **twicks** tiptoes in, hoping like hell there’s a third Hairy A anywhere nearby… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/588 "2005-09-07T19:56:32Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > On preview, I see **Scott** got a legal touch at 2:34, but passed up a scoring opportunity. . :smack: > [@](#): > > twicks tiptoes in, hoping like hell there’s a third Hairy A anywhere nearby… Oh look! A deep, dark cave. (repeat) Can’t go over it (repeat) Can’t go under it (repeat) Can’t go through it (repeat) Got to go in it. (repeat, close eyes as you pretend to enter the cave) Oh,oh! It’s dark in here. (repeat) I feel something (repeat) It’s a ball! Here is another thing! It has lots of hair! (repeat) It has sharp teeth! (repeat) It’s a bear!! (children love to scream this part) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/589 "2005-09-07T19:57:26Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > But – and it’s a very big but! – there is no fourth Lemur in sight, so **Feydeau** grabs the ball, and promptly goes into yon cave. > > For a nap. **Sternvogel** , who just decided to go spelunking for the first time, sees the ball perched atop a stalagmite that (in the darkness) looks something like the traditional representation of the Virgin Mary. He sends a text message about the find to the _National Enquirer_, which has just hired… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/590 "2005-09-07T20:04:52Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who just decided to go spelunking for the first time, sees the ball perched atop a stalagmite that (in the darkness) looks something like the traditional representation of the Virgin Mary. He sends a text message about the find to the _National Enquirer_, which has just hired… Me, how is working alomng side [these guys](http://scandalsheet.keenspace.com/cast.html). I toss my last post in the trash, (Can I do that?), and then write a report about the UF which is dropping balls out of nowhere. Suddenly, Batboys comes along kidnaps the ball. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/591 "2005-09-07T20:11:23Z")
**Scott** , you legally got the ball (bear?) from **twicks**. My 2:57 post was late. I then wrote a correction, which was apparently eaten by the hamsters (if something about the vision of Mary turning out to be a hallucination shows up eventually, that’s the message, and it should be ignored). I took the ursine sphere from you, and now have it. Goal opportunity for the Lemurs if one catches this pass… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/592 "2005-09-07T20:16:29Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Scott** , you legally got the ball (bear?) from **twicks**. My 2:57 post was late. I then wrote a correction, which was apparently eaten by the hamsters (if something about the vision of Mary turning out to be a hallucination shows up eventually, that’s the message, and it should be ignored). I took the ursine sphere from you, and now have it. Goal opportunity for the Lemurs if one catches this pass… …but nooooooooooooo, **twicks** somes in, snaps a few pix of **sternvogel** gawking at the Marian apparition (once a sociologist of religion, always a sociologist of religion), and scampers out of the cave. Stopping at the concession stand that someone built while we were all in the can, I order a soda and fall into conversation with … ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/593 "2005-09-07T20:18:29Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …while we were all in the can,… Paging Dr. Freud! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/594 "2005-09-07T20:21:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …but nooooooooooooo, **twicks** somes in, snaps a few pix of **sternvogel** gawking at the Marian apparition (once a sociologist of religion, always a sociologist of religion), and scampers out of the cave. Stopping at the concession stand that someone built while we were all in the can, I order a soda and fall into conversation with … **Sternvogel** , who wonders what flavor of ice cream you have in your soda, then realizes you mean “pop” (once an English major, always an English major). Grabbing a Cherry Coke for himself as he steals the ball, he passes off to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/595 "2005-09-07T20:23:22Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who wonders what flavor of ice cream you have in your soda, then realizes you mean “pop” (once an English major, always an English major). Grabbing a Cherry Coke for himself as he steals the ball, he passes off to… Me, drinking a Cream Soda. I pass the ball from hand to hand, looking like a member of The Washington General trying to improve himself, then pass it to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/596 "2005-09-07T20:27:30Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Me, drinking a Cream Soda. I pass the ball from hand to hand, looking like a member of The Washington General trying to improve himself, then pass it to… **Feydeau** , groggily walking out of the cave (what cave? where??) having been rudely roused from a peaceful nap. Looking worriedly at the ball, he passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/597 "2005-09-07T20:31:05Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , groggily walking out of the cave (what cave? where??) having been rudely roused from a peaceful nap. Looking worriedly at the ball, he passes it to… Me, again. Boy, you really need more sleep. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/598 "2005-09-07T20:31:36Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , groggily walking out of the cave (what cave? where??) having been rudely roused from a peaceful nap. Looking worriedly at the ball, he passes it to… **Sternvogel** , who hopes the Lemurs can soon wrap up this game as his toss is fielded by… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/599 "2005-09-07T20:32:21Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , groggily walking out of the cave (what cave? where??) having been rudely roused from a peaceful nap. Looking worriedly at the ball, he passes it to… **Snakescatlady** who throws herself, the ball, a cat, and two ham sammiches into the goal. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/600 "2005-09-07T20:32:58Z")
This time **Scott** wins the battle of the simulposts, so I catch his pass and look for a Lemur to convert the opportunity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=29) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=31)