# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 44

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**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/861 "2005-09-11T23:58:42Z")

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Sternvogel: Scott, Who is shutting down for the night to watch Simpsons.

Holy crap, that’s a long pass.

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**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/862 "2005-09-12T00:08:21Z")

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Okay, I know I’m taking it from an Uck, I’m just not sure which one.

I dig the costume idea, though – here’s a nice bat costume, complete with wings. Let’s see how it looks in this.

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**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/863 "2005-09-12T00:16:31Z")

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> [@twickster](#):
>
> Okay, I know I’m taking it from an Uck, I’m just not sure which one.
> 
> I dig the costume idea, though – here’s a nice bat costume, complete with wings. Let’s see how it looks in this.

It would have looked better had it been prepared. Still, it’s attractive enough for me to grab before I place it in the Batmobile and tell Robin to deliver it to an Uppercase Player.

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**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/864 "2005-09-12T01:29:27Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> It would have looked better had it been prepared. Still, it’s attractive enough for me to grab before I place it in the Batmobile and tell Robin to deliver it to an Uppercase Player.

Robin, however, is clearly unprepared, since **twicks** easily snags it from the passenger seat while he’s stopped at a light. She attaches it to her utility belt and heads for the Secret Lucky Lair, where…

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**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/865 "2005-09-12T01:37:23Z")

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> [@twickster](#):
>
> Robin, however, is clearly unprepared, since **twicks** easily snags it from the passenger seat while he’s stopped at a light. She attaches it to her utility belt and heads for the Secret Lucky Lair, where…

**gardentraveler** , disguised as the Penguin (or maybe just “a” penguin), waddles over and swipes it from **twicks’** utility belt. She hides the ball under her wing, waiting for it to hatch, when…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/866 "2005-09-12T01:44:47Z")

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> [@gardentraveler](#):
>
> **gardentraveler** , disguised as the Penguin (or maybe just “a” penguin), waddles over and swipes it from **twicks’** utility belt. She hides the ball under her wing, waiting for it to hatch, when…

**Sternvogel** arrives and continues the _Batman_ theme (what complex lyrics that song has!) by placing the ball (still gold, as I recall) into an exhibit of the Treasures of **King Tut** at the Gotham City Museum of Art. The curator is…

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**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/867 "2005-09-12T01:53:59Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> **Sternvogel** arrives and continues the _Batman_ theme (what complex lyrics that song has!) by placing the ball (still gold, as I recall) into an exhibit of the Treasures of **King Tut** at the Gotham City Museum of Art. The curator is…

**danceswithcats** also disguised as a penguin. Placing the doperball on my feet, my belly flap covers it, and I stand about with all the other penguins, awaiting something to happen so this damned thing won’t sit on top of my feet forever…

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**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/868 "2005-09-12T01:58:38Z")

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> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> **danceswithcats** also disguised as a penguin. Placing the doperball on my feet, my belly flap covers it, and I stand about with all the other penguins, awaiting something to happen so this damned thing won’t sit on top of my feet forever…

What happens is that **Sternvogel** takes the ball back and taunts: “Riddle me this, Batman. Who will take this pass from me?” The anser is…

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**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/869 "2005-09-12T02:06:07Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> What happens is that **Sternvogel** takes the ball back and taunts: “Riddle me this, Batman. Who will take this pass from me?” The anser is…

Me. See post #867😃

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/870 "2005-09-12T02:19:09Z")

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> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> Me. See post #867😃

And I use my 3000th post to take the ball back. As I do, I notice the sarcophagus creaking as it slowly opens. The “mummy” who emerges is…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/871 "2005-09-12T02:34:47Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> And I use my 3000th post to take the ball back. As I do, I notice the sarcophagus creaking as it slowly opens. The “mummy” who emerges is…

Mummy how I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old mummy. The mummy **danceswithcats** is also a penguin who hides the doperball atop it’s feet awaiting the appearance of…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/872 "2005-09-12T02:48:47Z")

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> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> Mummy how I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old mummy. The mummy **danceswithcats** is also a penguin who hides the doperball atop it’s feet awaiting the appearance of…

**Sternvogel** , who’s tiring of this Alphonse-Gaston routine and hopes this pass is caught by someone who doesn’t engage in terpsichorean activities with felines.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/873 "2005-09-12T03:02:19Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> **Sternvogel** , who’s tiring of this Alphonse-Gaston routine and hopes this pass is caught by someone who doesn’t engage in terpsichorean activities with felines.

**Snakescatlady** catches the pass and goes to find the dictionary to find the definition of “terpsichorean”.

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**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/874 "2005-09-12T03:34:14Z")

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> [@Snakescatlady](#):
>
> **Snakescatlady** catches the pass and goes to find the dictionary to find the definition of “terpsichorean”.

likewise heading off to definitionville, but not before blocking the Upper Case players by grabbing the pass from **Snakescatlady** and heaving it to…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/875 "2005-09-12T03:38:53Z")

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> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> likewise heading off to definitionville, but not before blocking the Upper Case players by grabbing the pass from **Snakescatlady** and heaving it to…

**Sternvogel** , who decides to save thread newcomers the trouble by revelaing that _terpsichorean_ refers to Terpsichore, the Muse of Dance in Greek mythology. Hoping to choreograph a scoring drive, I pass to…

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**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/876 "2005-09-12T05:30:29Z")

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> [@Sternvogel](#):
>
> **Sternvogel** , who decides to save thread newcomers the trouble by revelaing that _terpsichorean_ refers to Terpsichore, the Muse of Dance in Greek mythology. Hoping to choreograph a scoring drive, I pass to…

**Feydeau** who does the Charleston up the road, passing the ball to…

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**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/877 "2005-09-12T06:51:18Z")

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> [@Feydeau](#):
>
> **Feydeau** who does the Charleston up the road, passing the ball to…

**Snakescatlady** , who has no idea what team she is on or what the score is. So I hand the ball off to…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/878 "2005-09-12T11:42:10Z")

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> [@Snakescatlady](#):
>
> **Snakescatlady** , who has no idea what team she is on or what the score is. So I hand the ball off to…

**twickster** , who cackles in supervillain glee at using **Snakescatlady** ’s confusion to prevent the goal. Hee! (The teams are the Ucks – people whose usernames begin with an Upper Case letter – vs. the Lucks – people whose usernames begin with a Lower Case letter.)

**twicks** dribbles the ball (which, yes, is still gold, but which has been zapped with an antigravity device, which apparently not only makes it light enough to be easily transported but also makes it bouncy) and awaits further developments…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/879 "2005-09-12T17:19:49Z")

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**danceswithcats** takes the ball from **twickster** but absentmindedly confuses it with a burrito. Placing the doperball in his microwave, he presses the start button, killing the magnetron and causing the doperball to vaporize. He also learns that you can’t dribble a frozen burrito…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/880 "2005-09-12T17:47:16Z")

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> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> \<sniP He also learns that you can’t dribble a frozen burrito…

Emerging from behind a nearby wall, two almost identically clad men emerge.

"Ah ha! Can’t do much with out a ball, can you, Batcreep. Well, I have one, but I will only give it to you if steal me the fabled Canaveral Diamond. "

With that, they turn and look at each other, perplexed. They say at the same time:

“You can be King Tut! I’m King Tut.”

One looks like [this](http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/7537/tut.htm) while the other looks like [this](http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2408125?htv=12).

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