# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 45
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/881 "2005-09-12T17:51:36Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **danceswithcats** takes the ball from **twickster** but absentmindedly confuses it with a burrito. Placing the doperball in his microwave, he presses the start button, killing the magnetron and causing the doperball to vaporize. He also learns that you can’t dribble a frozen burrito… **Sternvogel** takes possession of both the frozen burrito and the vaporized remains of the Doperball, fuses them together, and observes that the physical reaction somehow produces an ordinary-looking ball. He passes said ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/882 "2005-09-12T17:53:21Z")
_Ahem_ ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/883 "2005-09-12T17:55:30Z")
Okay, if **Scott Plaid** somehow touched the ball during that King Tut confusion, and passed it to me, I received the ball and am now looking for an Uppercaser to score our first goal of the game. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/884 "2005-09-12T17:56:00Z")
**Feydeau** grabs half of the ball from **Scott Plaid** and the other half from **Sternvogel** and tosses it swiflty into the goal for a SCORE!!! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/885 "2005-09-12T18:08:04Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** grabs half of the ball from **Scott Plaid** and the other half from **Sternvogel** and tosses it swiflty into the goal for a SCORE!!! Reffa steffa shneffa – **twickster** got delayed by a reboot, but is here now to start the next chukker. After gluing the ball back together with refried beans, she passes it off to … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/886 "2005-09-12T18:08:06Z")
With the lowercase lead reduced to 2-1, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play by burying it under the Sphinx. Tunneling to retrieve the orb is… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/887 "2005-09-12T18:10:02Z")
Okay, I took the ball from **twickster**. At any rate, it’s buried under the Egyptian desert awaiting recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/888 "2005-09-12T18:12:15Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Okay, I took the ball from **twickster**. At any rate, it’s buried under the Egyptian desert awaiting recovery. It is retrived by [del]Scott[/del] the [Composite Superman](http://nightwing.superman.ws/adventures/composite_p01.htm), looking for the ball that bears a resembulancce to him. He has it. Who shall take it away? ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/889 "2005-09-12T18:17:25Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > It is retrived by [del]Scott[/del] the [Composite Superman](http://nightwing.superman.ws/adventures/composite_p01.htm), looking for the ball that bears a resembulancce to him. He has it. Who shall take it away? **Feydeau** scores AGAIN and the crowd goes wild. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/890 "2005-09-12T18:18:53Z")
Phooey! **twickster** takes the ball and heads for the Grand Canyon. Mounting a mule (sic), she heads for the bottom of the gorge, where … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/891 "2005-09-12T18:28:01Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Phooey! > > **twickster** takes the ball and heads for the Grand Canyon. Mounting a mule (sic), she heads for the bottom of the gorge, where … **Sternvogel** has been examining petroglyphs which either reveal an Indian artist of the distant past’s uncanny ability to foresee the appearance of the 1968 Chevy Impala OR are clever frauds. As I examine the artwork, the ball is taken by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/892 "2005-09-12T19:06:01Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** has been examining petroglyphs which either reveal an Indian artist of the distant past’s uncanny ability to foresee the appearance of the 1968 Chevy Impala OR are clever frauds. As I examine the artwork, the ball is taken by… **twicks** , who, being a girl, isn’t so easily distracted by car pix. OTOH, as an avid gardener, she _is_ easily distracted by plants she’s not familiar with, so as she’s examining some weird little shrub… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/893 "2005-09-12T19:15:43Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who, being a girl, isn’t so easily distracted by car pix. OTOH, as an avid gardener, she _is_ easily distracted by plants she’s not familiar with, so as she’s examining some weird little shrub… **Sternvogel** distracts her with a plaque that commemorates her 10,000th post. As **twickster** admires the award’s exquisitely carved depictions of scenes from reality TV shows and MGM musicals, I loft a pass to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/894 "2005-09-12T19:18:04Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** distracts her with a plaque that commemorates her 10,000th post. As **twickster** admires the award’s exquisitely carved depictions of scenes from reality TV shows and MGM musicals, I loft a pass to… **Feydeau** who looks around for another teammate for yet another score… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/895 "2005-09-12T19:21:34Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** who looks around for another teammate for yet another score… …but **twicks** glimpses the ball’s movement reflected in the plaque, so she reaches up and snags the ball as it passes over her head. Reality TV fan – musical lover – and single-handed defense contingent of the Lucks – this woman can do it all! As she does an obnoxious hot dog pass interception dance (nimbly avoiding mule droppings) … Yeah, damn, I forgot to pay attention – I have no idea what thread my the ol’ 10K happened in. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/896 "2005-09-12T19:28:13Z")
Since **twicks** indeed appears to be holding down her team’s fort all by her lower-case lonesome, I knock the ball away from her as she does her interception dance (tap, of course). As I begin to belt a cringe-worthy version of _Luck Be a Lady Tonight_, the ball is taken by… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/897 "2005-09-12T19:34:00Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Yeah, damn, I forgot to pay attention – I have no idea what thread my the ol’ 10K happened in. ☹ Counting backwards in a list of all your posts\* I beleive that [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6570263&postcount=6) would be your 10,000th. I hope you appreciate my efforts… 😃 Why, yes I _should_ be at work right now, why do you ask? \*Admins, the new shipment of hamsters should be arriving soon. I feel very badly about searching all that for such a mundane reason. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/898 "2005-09-12T19:35:12Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Since **twicks** indeed appears to be holding down her team’s fort all by her lower-case lonesome, I knock the ball away from her as she does her interception dance (tap, of course). As I begin to belt a cringe-worthy version of _Luck Be a Lady Tonight_, the ball is taken by… **Feydeau** , blinded by the footlights that seem to have popped up on the floor of the Grand Canyon. Not knowing where or to whom, he passes the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/899 "2005-09-12T19:40:45Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , blinded by the footlights that seem to have popped up on the floor of the Grand Canyon. Not knowing where or to whom, he passes the ball to… **twicks** , who considers wanting to get laid a biological imperative. 😃 That along with singing and dancing during Doperball. Showing off her fancy footwork, she juggles the ball while doing Maxie Fords – believe me, it’s a sight to see, and one person who’s watching, agape, is … ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/900 "2005-09-12T19:48:57Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Since **twicks** indeed appears to be holding down her team’s fort all by her lower-case lonesome, I knock the ball away from her as she does her interception dance (tap, of course). As I begin to belt a cringe-worthy version of _Luck Be a Lady Tonight_, the ball is taken by… **EarthStone777** in a hotair balloon wafting up the canyon walls. Unfortunately, he passes too close to an eagles nest and the mother eagle attacks the balloon with her talons. As the escaping air propells it into the distance, the Doperball drops into the depths of the grand canyon… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=44) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=46)