# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 46
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/901 "2005-09-12T19:55:51Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who considers wanting to get laid a biological imperative. 😃 That along with singing and dancing during Doperball. Showing off her fancy footwork, she juggles the ball while doing Maxie Fords – believe me, it’s a sight to see, and one person who’s watching, agape, is … **Sternvogel** , who knows more about Ford Galaxies than about Maxies, and hopes **EarthStone777** (whose previous post was a bit late) or another Uppercaser is open for this pass… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/902 "2005-09-12T20:13:52Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who knows more about Ford Galaxies than about Maxies, and hopes **EarthStone777** (whose previous post was a bit late) or another Uppercaser is open for this pass… …but nooooooooooo. [/Steve Martin]. **twicks** grabs the ball and yodels to her fellow Luckies… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/903 "2005-09-12T20:26:29Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …but nooooooooooo. [/Steve Martin]. > > **twicks** grabs the ball and yodels to her fellow Luckies… However, **Sternvogel** is the only one who hears her. Hoping an Uppercaser is within earshot, I kick the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/904 "2005-09-12T20:32:26Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > However, **Sternvogel** is the only one who hears her. Hoping an Uppercaser is within earshot, I kick the ball to… **EarthStone777** who is rather upset at being interrupted when trying to take a hotair balloon ride and forgetting to preview before posting. He tosses the ball up and headbutts it straight up into the air… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/905 "2005-09-12T20:34:02Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > **EarthStone777** who is rather upset at being interrupted when trying to take a hotair balloon ride and forgetting to preview before posting. He tosses the ball up and headbutts it straight up into the air… … and **twicks** catches it, preventing the goal. She puts it in a steamer trunk and slaps on an address label: “Ship this to…” ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/906 "2005-09-12T20:37:11Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … and twicks catches it, preventing the goal. She puts it in a steamer trunk and slaps on an address label: “Ship this to…” **Feydeau** , who, upon looking at his calendar, realizes he has several important deadlines looming in the next few days (so don’t expect me here quite as much…maybe). Putting cotton in his ears to try to drown out the [del]screeching[/del] yodeling, he passes the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/907 "2005-09-12T20:45:29Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , who, upon looking at his calendar, realizes he has several important deadlines looming in the next few days (so don’t expect me here quite as much…maybe). > > Putting cotton in his ears to try to drown out the [del]screeching[/del] yodeling, he passes the ball to… **Sternvogel** , who sees the pace has picked up, and so quickly tips the pass to… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/908 "2005-09-12T20:48:45Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who sees the pace has picked up, and so quickly tips the pass to… **EarthStone777** , who tosses the steamer trunk into an empty box car, pulls himself aboard after it, and rides the rails to destinations unknown. At some point EarthStone goes in search of the dining car and leaves the trunk unguarded and … on preview realises that he is now 3rd to touch it so rushes back to the trunk, and tosses the entire thing, DoperBall locked in steamer trunk off the train into into the goal posts for a SCORE! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/909 "2005-09-12T20:54:21Z")
With the Uppercase Dopers now leading the lowercase squad by a 3-2 margin, \*\*Sternvogel{/b] places the steamer trunk on a flatcar. As the train roars down the tracks, the engineer suddenly sees an automobile stuck at a crossing gate. At the wheel of the sedan is… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/910 "2005-09-12T21:01:02Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > With the Uppercase Dopers now leading the lowercase squad by a 3-2 margin, \*\*Sternvogel{/b] places the steamer trunk on a flatcar. As the train roars down the tracks, the engineer suddenly sees an automobile stuck at a crossing gate. At the wheel of the sedan is… **twickster** :eek: No – wait – just a hologram. The real **twicks** is trackside, laughing evilly, Doperball firmly tucked under one arm, ready to hand it off to … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/911 "2005-09-12T21:03:53Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twickster** :eek: > > No – wait – just a hologram. The real **twicks** is trackside, laughing evilly, Doperball firmly tucked under one arm, ready to hand it off to … **Sternvogel** , who suspects there’s method to her madness, yet accepts the gift and quickly releases it to… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/912 "2005-09-12T21:12:47Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who suspects there’s method to her madness, yet accepts the gift and quickly releases it to… **gardentraveler** , who has a hair appointment in 5 minutes and decides that the Doperball could use some grooming too… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/913 "2005-09-12T21:14:43Z")
**twicks** pushes her hair out of her eyes and agrees – ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/914 "2005-09-12T21:15:51Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** pushes her hair out of her eyes and agrees – –but **Feydeau** (who also requires a haircut) takes the DoperBall and passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/915 "2005-09-12T21:19:02Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > –but **Feydeau** (who also requires a haircut) takes the DoperBall and passes it to… **Sternvogel** , who isn’t getting a haircut, but instead looking for a goal as he passes to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/916 "2005-09-12T21:29:47Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who isn’t getting a haircut, but instead looking for a goal as he passes to… … the wily **twickster** , who, yes, is about to head home, but not before handing off the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/917 "2005-09-12T21:33:56Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … the wily **twickster** , who, yes, is about to head home, but not before handing off the ball to … **Sternvogel** , who hopes that at least two of his teammates are still around as he enters a handy Best Cuts and places the ball in the shampooers’ sink. Coming along to claim the wet sphere is… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/918 "2005-09-12T21:54:28Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who hopes that at least two of his teammates are still around as he enters a handy Best Cuts and places the ball in the shampooers’ sink. Coming along to claim the wet sphere is… **gardentraveler** who is irate that **Sternvogel** would consider Best Cuts an appropriate place for the Doperball to be groomed. She takes the ball back to her haircutting professional (who is conveniently 3 minutes away) and… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/919 "2005-09-12T22:03:55Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** who is irate that **Sternvogel** would consider Best Cuts an appropriate place for the Doperball to be groomed. She takes the ball back to her haircutting professional (who is conveniently 3 minutes away) and… … discovers to her dismay that I am on the premises, recruiting her favorite stylist to join the Best Cuts team. As I hand the beautician the contract… Disclaimer: I am not actually affiliated with any haircutting establishment, except as an occasional customer. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/920 "2005-09-12T22:15:02Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > … discovers to her dismay that I am on the premises, recruiting her favorite stylist to join the Best Cuts team. As I hand the beautician the contract…\\* **gardentraveler** stands back as the stylist laughs at the contract. She takes advantage of this distraction to grab the ball and walk it to the library (who cares about grooming?)… \*unable to resist pun… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=45) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=47)