# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 48
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/941 "2005-09-13T03:30:53Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **danceswithcats** who is rather perturbed by the drubbing of we lower caser types. Feeling a touch of PP&M coming back from his youth in the 60’s > > _Where have all the lowers gone > long time passing > Where have all the lowers gone > long time ago > Where have all the lowers gone > I will Pit them, every one > Oh when will they ever learn?_ > > At the close of the song, he sees that the doper ball was stolen from the guitar case, and the person responsible had to be… **Sternvogel** , who’s waited a long time before getting another chance to be passing the ball. Suddenly, a gale kicks up, and the Doperball, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/942 "2005-09-13T05:46:43Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who’s waited a long time before getting another chance to be passing the ball. Suddenly, a gale kicks up, and the Doperball, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind… into **twickster** rowboat, whereupon we all join hands and sing “twickster row the boat ashore.” so I do, only to be met by… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/943 "2005-09-13T06:30:36Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > into **twickster** rowboat, whereupon we all join hands and sing “twickster row the boat ashore.” so I do, only to be met by… **Feydeau** , soggy from wading out to meet the boat. He grabs the ball and runs up the sand to pass it to… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/944 "2005-09-13T06:41:10Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , soggy from wading out to meet the boat. He grabs the ball and runs up the sand to pass it to… **danceswithcats** who appeals: _Ask not what doperball can do for you, but what you can do to defeat these uppercase SOBS_. Transforming the doperball into a repeating sequence of prime numbers, it is sent to the star Vega where we’ll see if there are dopers who wish to play the game, however it will take 26 years to see if the ball is received by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/945 "2005-09-13T11:05:03Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **danceswithcats** who appeals: _Ask not what doperball can do for you, but what you can do to defeat these uppercase SOBS_. Transforming the doperball into a repeating sequence of prime numbers, it is sent to the star Vega where we’ll see if there are dopers who wish to play the game, however it will take 26 years to see if the ball is received by… **twickster** , for whom the 26 years passed as though it were only a few hours. She’s still 3/4 asleep, so she won’t try to be clever, just pass the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/946 "2005-09-13T11:12:42Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twickster** , for whom the 26 years passed as though it were only a few hours. She’s still 3/4 asleep, so she won’t try to be clever, just pass the ball to … **gardentraveler** , whose tea has not yet kicked in and hopes the Doperball contains some residual transdermally delivered caffeine as she passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/947 "2005-09-13T11:30:28Z")
( **twickster** very carefully does _not_ touch the ball as she points out to teammate **gardentraveler** that the latter is in a position to score.) ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/948 "2005-09-13T14:45:48Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > ( **twickster** very carefully does _not_ touch the ball as she points out to teammate **gardentraveler** that the latter is in a position to score.) However **EarthStone777** foils that hope, snatches the ball and dashes off with it, this time _not_ looking back to see who is following\* and instead looking ahead to see who is waiting down the street. Unfortunatly this means he didn’t see the open manhole cover. Ploomp! He drops down out of side leaving the ball spinning in midair, about to fall, when it is snatched by… \*I learned my lesson after my last dash down the street ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/949 "2005-09-13T15:00:40Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > However **EarthStone777** foils that hope, snatches the ball and dashes off with it, this time _not_ looking back to see who is following\* and instead looking ahead to see who is waiting down the street. Unfortunatly this means he didn’t see the open manhole cover. Ploomp! He drops down out of side leaving the ball spinning in midair, about to fall, when it is snatched by… **twickster** , who’s not laughing, no, really she’s not, as she grabs the ball and swivels to look for another Luckie … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/950 "2005-09-13T15:02:57Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > However **EarthStone777** foils that hope, snatches the ball and dashes off with it, this time _not_ looking back to see who is following\* and instead looking ahead to see who is waiting down the street. Unfortunatly this means he didn’t see the open manhole cover. Ploomp! He drops down out of side leaving the ball spinning in midair, about to fall, when it is snatched by… **Sternvogel** , who is relieved to see that the score has not changed while he slept, woke up, ate breakfast, and washed dishes. Hoping that his team’s 4-2 lead is about to increase, he passes to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/951 "2005-09-13T15:04:18Z")
Oops, it was **twickster** from whom I took the ball. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/952 "2005-09-13T15:06:23Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who is relieved to see that the score has not changed while he slept, woke up, ate breakfast, and washed dishes. Hoping that his team’s 4-2 lead is about to increase, he passes to… a long black dripping arm\* reaches from the sewer hole, palms the ball, and yanks it back down into the tunnels. EarthStone777 flees into the darkness trying to keep the ball out of twicksters grasp but… - black and dripping because it’s covered with sewer muck ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/953 "2005-09-13T15:11:07Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > a long black dripping arm\* reaches from the sewer hole, palms the ball, and yanks it back down into the tunnels. EarthStone777 flees into the darkness trying to keep the ball out of twicksters grasp but… …nope, **twickster** is on the job. It’s back to the laundromat to clean off the ball; while on her way there, she meets … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/954 "2005-09-13T15:15:58Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > …nope, **twickster** is on the job. It’s back to the laundromat to clean off the ball; while on her way there, she meets … **Sternvogel** , who has just emerged from City News with a magazine of crossword and other language-related puzzles. Wondering if **twickster** helped edit the publication, I toss the _pelota_\* to… \*Spanish for “ball” ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/955 "2005-09-13T15:19:08Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who has just emerged from City News with a magazine of crossword and other language-related puzzles. Wondering if **twickster** helped edit the publication, I toss the _pelota_\* to… > > \*Spanish for “ball” \*\* EarthStone777\*\* , who’s happy that the ball is nice and clean now, but who is getting thirsty from all this running around. He takes tbe ball into the bar (still next door) and orders a drink. While he’s whetting his whistle\* the ball is taken off the bar by… - a nice shiny whistle that he got from one of those bubble gum machines for a quarter! He’s just not sure why it’s important to keep it wet. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/956 "2005-09-13T15:25:42Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > \*\* > EarthStone777\*\* , who’s happy that the ball is nice and clean now, but who is getting thirsty from all this running around. He takes tbe ball into the bar (still next door) and orders a drink. While he’s whetting his whistle\* the ball is taken off the bar by… **twickster** (whose initials IRL are “JW” and who’s usually the second name on the masthead – if you bought the wrong magazine, email me and I’ll set you straight 😉 ). She grabs a handful of peanuts with one hand – is it lunchtime yet? – and the ball with the other hand, and, moving with her usual feline grace, saunters outside, where … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/957 "2005-09-13T15:33:14Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twickster** (whose initials IRL are “JW” and who’s usually the second name on the masthead – if you bought the wrong magazine, email me and I’ll set you straight 😉 ). She grabs a handful of peanuts with one hand – is it lunchtime yet? – and the ball with the other hand, and, moving with her usual feline grace, saunters outside, where … **Sternvogel** , who apparently got the wrong magazine (at least as far as **twickster** is concerned), but has already started a puzzle and thus can’t return the purchase, hopes a teammate (perhaps a ten-letter phrase signifying “ **Doper** whose name is now indelibly attached to the concept of sex with sheep”) is on the receiving end of this pass. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/958 "2005-09-13T15:36:59Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who apparently got the wrong magazine (at least as far as **twickster** is concerned), but has already started a puzzle and thus can’t return the purchase, hopes a teammate (perhaps a ten-letter phrase signifying “ **Doper** whose name is now indelibly attached to the concept of sex with sheep”) is on the receiving end of this pass. Instead it is **EarthStone777** who invites **Sternvogel** and **twickster** to a nearby cafe for lunch. While looking at menues, the waiter brings water and fresh hot rolls, and clears space to put them on the small table\* by removing the doper ball that is taking up too much room. The waiter moves the ball to the wall, where coats are hung, and it noticed by… - why are many tables so small they can barely hold the plates of food? It’s just silly I tell you. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/959 "2005-09-13T15:48:53Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > Instead it is **EarthStone777** who invites **Sternvogel** and **twickster** to a nearby cafe for lunch. While looking at menues, the waiter brings water and fresh hot rolls, and clears space to put them on the small table\* by removing the doper ball that is taking up too much room. The waiter moves the ball to the wall, where coats are hung, and it noticed by… … **twickster** , who gets up and touches the to keep it in play, but then returns to the table to order lunch. Would a chicken caesar salad be too girly\> ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/960 "2005-09-13T15:54:58Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … **twickster** , who gets up and touches the to keep it in play, but then returns to the table to order lunch. Would a chicken caesar salad be too girly\> Not that I’d ever mention it. I think I’ll get the Cobb salad myself. Those rolls look yummy, but first I need to wash my hands\* before eating. **EarthStone777** gets up to wash his hands and on the way back to the table he shifts the ball (it was close to rolling off the shelf and could have been a hazard to waiters walking past with their arms full of dishes). Seats himself, grabs a hot roll and starts lathering on the butter. - He was just down in the sewers after all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=47) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=49)