# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/961 "2005-09-13T15:58:17Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > … **twickster** , who gets up and touches the to keep it in play, but then returns to the table to order lunch. Would a chicken caesar salad be too girly? **Sternvogel** , who is about to log off and prepare pork chops for his real-life lunch, happened to have tortellini with chicken (one casserole-like dish) and plain Caesar salad (the bagged kind) yesterday. Suggesting **twicks** order whatever she’s in the mood for, I toss the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/962 "2005-09-13T15:59:30Z")
Actually, I get the ball from **EarthStone777**. Let’s hope we score before I rejoin the fray. I pass to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/963 "2005-09-13T16:05:38Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Actually, I get the ball from **EarthStone777**. Let’s hope we score before I rejoin the fray. I pass to… **twicks** , who juggles the ball while she waits for her salad to arrive and makes small talk with … ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/964 "2005-09-13T16:12:59Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who juggles the ball while she waits for her salad to arrive and makes small talk with … **EarthStone777** who\* joins twicks in her juggling by adding a glass, a roll, and a knife to the mix. He starts tossing items to her and getting some back, including the doper ball. However other diners start applauding thinking it’s an act for their amusement and when **twicks** and **Stone** stop to bow, the ball is is taken by… \*who is spending the day online and able to counter her every move, hoping some Ucks get here to help out… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/965 "2005-09-13T17:27:10Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > **EarthStone777** who\* joins twicks in her juggling by adding a glass, a roll, and a knife to the mix. He starts tossing items to her and getting some back, including the doper ball. However other diners start applauding thinking it’s an act for their amusement and when **twicks** and **Stone** stop to bow, the ball is is taken by… > > \*who is spending the day online and able to counter her every move, hoping some Ucks get here to help out… Back from lunch is **Sternvogel** , who will be checking in on the game periodically all afternoon and into the evening. Is there a third Uppercaser out there who can catch this pass? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/966 "2005-09-13T17:29:47Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Back from lunch is **Sternvogel** , who will be checking in on the game periodically all afternoon and into the evening. Is there a third Uppercaser out there who can catch this pass? **evil cackle** Yeah, right – **twicks** is on the job. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/967 "2005-09-13T17:34:27Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **evil cackle** > > Yeah, right – **twicks** is on the job. However, her teammates all seem to have called in sick, as I once more reclaim the ball aand place it on the dessert cart, from which it is plucked by… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/968 "2005-09-13T17:45:53Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > However, her teammates all seem to have called in sick, as I once more reclaim the ball aand place it on the dessert cart, from which it is plucked by… **EarthStone777** who can’t decide between the Double Chocolate Fudge Brownie and the Strawberry Shortcake with Real Whipped Cream… So doing what I always do when faced with two choices, I take both,\* and put the ball back on the dessert cart to be found by… \*Between running down street, ballooing in the grand canyon, and diving into sewers, lots of calories have been burned in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/969 "2005-09-13T17:47:31Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > **EarthStone777** who can’t decide between the Double Chocolate Fudge Brownie and the Strawberry Shortcake with Real Whipped Cream… So doing what I always do when faced with two choices, I take both,\* and put the ball back on the dessert cart to be found by… > > \*Between running down street, ballooing in the grand canyon, and diving into sewers, lots of calories have been burned in the thread. **Feydeau** , who SCORES!!! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/970 "2005-09-13T17:51:54Z")
Ah, phooey. I am [not](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=334778) having good day here. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/971 "2005-09-13T17:52:30Z")
With Team Uppercase now enjoying a 5-2 lead, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play by putting it in a “doggy bag” emblazoned with the restaurant’s logo. He then deposits the bag on an unoccupied park bench and walks away. As he is about to turn the corner, he sees a passer-by take a seat. That person is… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/972 "2005-09-13T18:24:19Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > With Team Uppercase now enjoying a 5-2 lead, **Sternvogel** puts the ball into play by putting it in a “doggy bag” emblazoned with the restaurant’s logo. He then deposits the bag on an unoccupied park bench and walks away. As he is about to turn the corner, he sees a passer-by take a seat. That person is… **Feydeau** , who opens up the doggy bag, removes the doggy and leaves the ball inside. The doggy scampers away, chasing a kitty, and the bag is picked up by… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/973 "2005-09-13T18:26:23Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , who opens up the doggy bag, removes the doggy and leaves the ball inside. The doggy scampers away, chasing a kitty, and the bag is picked up by… **twicks** , who’s muttering “defense, defense” under her breath as she hands off to … ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/974 "2005-09-13T18:36:59Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** , who’s muttering “defense, defense” under her breath as she hands off to … **Sternvogel** , who hopes **Pandora** will forgive **twickster** ’s forgetting of their lunch date. I place the ball in a florist’s delivery van, which is being driven by… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/975 "2005-09-13T19:02:55Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who hopes **Pandora** will forgive **twickster** ’s forgetting of their lunch date. I place the ball in a florist’s delivery van, which is being driven by… **EarthStone777** who loved flute music\* … wait, what are all these flowers doing in my van? I’m heading to pick up a flutist, not a florist. Pushes button to open back door while driving around a corner so that the flowers come tumbling out, including the ball, spilling all over the road… - this one time at band camp… ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/976 "2005-09-13T19:04:08Z")
…Cemetery Savior, who grabs the ball from the back of the delivery van. Having forgotten that he has severe pollen-related allerigies, he sneezes mightily, coating the ball with phlegm and inadvertently passing the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/977 "2005-09-13T19:11:07Z")
> [@Cemetery Savior](#): > > …Cemetery Savior, who grabs the ball from the back of the delivery van. Having forgotten that he has severe pollen-related allerigies, he sneezes mightily, coating the ball with phlegm and inadvertently passing the ball to… Ha! You could have scored, but **twicks** whirls in again, grabs the ball and tosses it over her shoulder as she runs out with barely a paus… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/978 "2005-09-13T19:15:32Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Ha! You could have scored, but **twicks** whirls in again, grabs the ball and tosses it over her shoulder as she runs out with barely a paus… Unable to resist making a joke about the last word of **twickster** ’s post being the shortest pause he’s ever seen, **Sternvogel** reminds everybody to quote the post being referred to (or at least state from whom you’re taking the ball) when you reply. Hoping several of my teammates are on the field, I pass to… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/979 "2005-09-13T20:03:34Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Unable to resist making a joke about the last word of **twickster** ’s post being the shortest pause he’s ever seen, **Sternvogel** reminds everybody to quote the post being referred to (or at least state from whom you’re taking the ball) when you reply. Hoping several of my teammates are on the field, I pass to… \*\* EarthStone777\*\* who carefully cleans the ball off of **Cemetery Savior** ’s mucus, puts it into a press and squeezes it down in size to handball dimensions. He then starts playing solo handball\* against a wall until he finally misses a shot and the now smaller ball goes sailing past him where it is retrieved by… \*no jokes now involving ‘playing’ ‘solo’ or ‘balls’. This is a family establishment. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/980 "2005-09-13T20:11:52Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > \*\* > EarthStone777\*\* who carefully cleans the ball off of **Cemetery Savior** ’s mucus, puts it into a press and squeezes it down in size to handball dimensions. He then starts playing solo handball\* against a wall until he finally misses a shot and the now smaller ball goes sailing past him where it is retrieved by… > > \*no jokes now involving ‘playing’ ‘solo’ or ‘balls’. This is a family establishment. **Feydeau** who SCORES!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=50)