# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/101 "2005-09-04T08:30:47Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > Strinka grabs the ball, and not being hungry, throws it to a teammate. He then realizes that he got switched, and that he just threw it to an opponent. :smack: And **Feydeau** grabs the ball and runs toward the food court again, to order another Diet Coke. Hopefully this one won’t get wasted in an effort to avoid the other team. Waiting in line again, he passes the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/102 "2005-09-04T08:32:08Z")
\*\*Revised teams: Team 1: A B C F G H I M N O T U Y Team 2: D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/103 "2005-09-04T08:36:45Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > And **Feydeau** grabs the ball and runs toward the food court again, to order another Diet Coke. Hopefully this one won’t get wasted in an effort to avoid the other team. Waiting in line again, he passes the ball to… **Enterprise** , who ponders the ball in his left and the burger in his right, bites into the ball and, considering it comparatively foul-tasting, lightly tosses it towards the center of the field, where… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/104 "2005-09-04T11:56:14Z")
> [@Enterprise](#): > > **Enterprise** , who ponders the ball in his left and the burger in his right, bites into the ball and, considering it comparatively foul-tasting, lightly tosses it towards the center of the field, where… **twicks** intercepts it for the Hairy A’s. Noticing that she’s the only one up at this ungodly hour of a Sunday morning, she strolls unhurriedly down the field, enjoying the sun, the songs of the birds, the faint autumanl tinge to the morning air. Suddenly, out of nowhere… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/105 "2005-09-04T13:09:19Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **twicks** intercepts it for the Hairy A’s. Noticing that she’s the only one up at this ungodly hour of a Sunday morning, she strolls unhurriedly down the field, enjoying the sun, the songs of the birds, the faint autumanl tinge to the morning air. Suddenly, out of nowhere… **gardentraveler** , rushing out her door on the way to the car, snatches the ball from **twicks** and passes it onto… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/106 "2005-09-04T15:24:33Z")
**gardentraveler** ’s pass is snagged by **danceswithcats** who, unlike **twickster** decided to lay in bed most of the morning listening to NPR. Still pondering this week’s Puzzler from Car Talk, he passes to… ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/107 "2005-09-04T16:59:24Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **gardentraveler** ’s pass is snagged by **danceswithcats** who, unlike **twickster** decided to lay in bed most of the morning listening to NPR. Still pondering this week’s Puzzler from Car Talk, he passes to… **Strinka** , who remembers that he’s not on their team anymore. He throws it to a nearby bear, who adopts it as its young. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/108 "2005-09-04T17:14:37Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > **Strinka** , who remembers that he’s not on their team anymore. He throws it to a nearby bear, who adopts it as its young. Well, it looks like that is the end of that. No, wait, here comes Canada’s own [Troy Hurtubise](http://www.suck.com/daily/99/09/16/) who has nothing better to do with his time. In all the chaos, the ball is forotten, and it gets kicked out of the way to… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/109 "2005-09-04T17:17:32Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Well, it looks like that is the end of that. > > No, wait, here comes Canada’s own [Troy Hurtubise](http://www.suck.com/daily/99/09/16/) who has nothing better to do with his time. In all the chaos, the ball is forotten, and it gets kicked out of the way to… **Snakescatlady, who dives with it into the goal to SCORE!!** ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/110 "2005-09-04T17:41:40Z")
**twicks** , who’s still a little p-oed about losing the S’s, picks up the ball and heads back towards the Hairy A goal – meditating that at least the reffa-schneffa other team still doesn’t have a groovy name. As she passes the ice-cream stand, she decides to stop for a cone, but not before handing off the ball to … ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/111 "2005-09-04T18:17:32Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > As she passes the ice-cream stand, she decides to stop for a cone, but not before handing off the ball to … I don’t see a “Hairy A” in the cast listing for _The Ice Cream Stand_…oh…whoops…sorry, wrong game currently in the 5th incarnation… I grab the ball (and a double scoop of Mint Chip, waffle cone) and kick it way way high in the air, squinting into the sun as it sails off to… ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/112 "2005-09-04T18:24:40Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > I don’t see a “Hairy A” in the cast listing for _The Ice Cream Stand_…oh…whoops…sorry, wrong game currently in the 5th incarnation… > > I grab the ball (and a double scoop of Mint Chip, waffle cone) and kick it way way high in the air, squinting into the sun as it sails off to… to **Marque Elf** who has decided he can be a spectator no onger, not when his beloved Hairy A’s (there’s nothing sexual in that love, you deviants) jumps high into the air to grab the loose ball, lands… does a 360 degree spin and slams the ball into the goal for a score. Yay, us!! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/113 "2005-09-04T19:20:55Z")
**Sternvogel** , still reeling from his reassignment to the side which does not include such Movie Game stalwarts as **twickster** and **honeydewgrrl** , but realizing that more even competition is necessary to “grow the game” of Doperball, finishes his slice of peach pie. He places the ball in a cooler full of beer and pop cans, from which it is removed from the ice by… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/114 "2005-09-04T19:26:31Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , still reeling from his reassignment to the side which does not include such Movie Game stalwarts as **twickster** and **honeydewgrrl** , but realizing that more even competition is necessary to “grow the game” of Doperball, finishes his slice of peach pie. He places the ball in a cooler full of beer and pop cans, from which it is removed from the ice by… me, who mistakes it for an old fashioned bottle of pop. He tries to open it with a “church-key” bottle opener for the next fifteen minutes. He gets more and more irate, and finally, he spikes it in annoyance. It flies upwards… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/115 "2005-09-04T19:41:01Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > me, who mistakes it for an old fashioned bottle of pop. He tries to open it with a “church-key” bottle opener for the next fifteen minutes. He gets more and more irate, and finally, he spikes it in annoyance. It flies upwards… …and **Feydeau** grabs it and puts it in his pants. After a moment, the comfort level is _way_ down, so he removes it from his pants, just in time for… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/116 "2005-09-04T19:50:04Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > …and **Feydeau** grabs it and puts it in his pants. > > After a moment, the comfort level is _way_ down, so he removes it from his pants, just in time for… **gardentraveler** to come over from the garden where she was conveniently masked (pollen, you know) and gloved and had a handy hose to use as a fountain. The Doperball spends a few moments balancing on the fountain (gotta clean it up somehow!) and then jumps off into the waiting hands of… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/117 "2005-09-04T20:00:58Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** to come over from the garden where she was conveniently masked (pollen, you know) and gloved and had a handy hose to use as a fountain. The Doperball spends a few moments balancing on the fountain (gotta clean it up somehow!) and then jumps off into the waiting hands of… **Sternvogel** , who has fond memories of **gardentraveler** as a teammate, but claims for possession for his still-unnamed squad, notices a neardby trampoline, and bounces the ball off its springy surface and into the hands of… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/118 "2005-09-04T20:19:59Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who has fond memories of **gardentraveler** as a teammate, but claims for possession for his still-unnamed squad, notices a neardby trampoline, and bounces the ball off its springy surface and into the hands of… … **Feydeau** , still wearing pants (clean, thank you, **gardentraveler** ) – and he wanders about, looking for some shade. The ball is grabbed by… ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/119 "2005-09-04T20:24:42Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > Feydeau, still wearing pants (clean, thank you, gardentraveler) – and he wanders about, looking for some shade. The ball is grabbed by… \>You are on a Doperball field. You see a Doperball coming towards you. Obvious exits are North, East, South, Up. What do you do? Catch ball \>You catch the Doperball. What do you do? Throw ball \>Throw the Doperball where? Throw ball to teammate \> I don’t understand “teammate” Throw ball to person \>I don’t understand “person” Go north \>North is blocked by a bear. But you said it was an exit! \>I don’t understand Dammit! \>I don’t understand Drop Doperball \>You drop the Doperball ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/120 "2005-09-04T20:26:24Z")
Oh, no! Nobody told me we were playing! Jeez, you guys just didn’t want me dominating the game, I see. You’re not forcing this old timer out yet. . . I’ll quickly throw on my traditional team 2 gear (what’s our name? I haven’t read through yet) and grab the ball from **Feydeau** , and, not knowing if we’re ready to score or not, hurriedly pass it off to somebody who looks like they may be on my team. Then I’m seeking out who started this game without telling me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=7)