# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/121 "2005-09-04T20:28:37Z")
Pah, so I’ll grab from **Strinka.** I’m still upset. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/122 "2005-09-04T20:31:37Z")
> [@JimSox5](#): > > Oh, no! Nobody told me we were playing! Jeez, you guys just didn’t want me dominating the game, I see. You’re not forcing this old timer out yet. . . > > I’ll quickly throw on my traditional team 2 gear (what’s our name? I haven’t read through yet) and grab the ball from Feydeau, and, not knowing if we’re ready to score or not, hurriedly pass it off to somebody who looks like they may be on my team. Then I’m seeking out who started this game without telling me. Hi ya, **Jim** No one told me either. usually,\*\* Harmless \*\* is around to bother me… I even kind of miss that cat song… Oh! Some one from team two come get this! I have to pee! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/123 "2005-09-04T20:32:42Z")
> [@JimSox5](#): > > Pah, so I’ll grab from **Strinka.** I’m still upset. Stay there, you can’t have it again… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/124 "2005-09-04T20:33:06Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Hi ya, **Jim** No one told me either. usually,\*\* Harmless \*\* is around to bother me… I even kind of miss that cat song… Oh! Some one from team two come get this! I have to pee! **Feydeau** grabs the ball and passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/125 "2005-09-04T20:33:55Z")
Here’s the team roster: Team 1: A B C G H I M N O S T U Y Team 2: D E F J K L P Q R V W X Z ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/126 "2005-09-04T20:35:16Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Here’s the team roster: > > Team 1: A B C G H I M N O S T U Y > Team 2: D E F J K L P Q R V W X Z I lost the point din’ I? sorry guys. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/127 "2005-09-04T20:37:40Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** grabs the ball and passes it to… **Strinka**. Maybe this time we’ll score with three touches and not pass it off again. :: glares at **picunurse** :: He lobs it at the head of… ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/128 "2005-09-04T20:44:38Z")
**JimSox5** streaks in to intercept the bullet thrown at the back of **picunurse** ’s head. Really, **Strinka** you could have caused serious injury. How about a little sportsmanship? That’s what Team 1 is all about, I swear. I’ll punt the ball way downfield, as far away from the unsportsmanlike **Strinka**. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/129 "2005-09-04T20:47:32Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > **Strinka**. Maybe this time we’ll score with three touches and not pass it off again. :: glares at **picunurse** :: He lobs it at the head of… **Sternvogel** , who suggests new teammate **picunurse** read and learn the revised rosters: Team 1: A B C F G H I M N O T U Y Team 2: D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z Chance to catch my pass and put it in for the tying goal… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/130 "2005-09-04T20:50:59Z")
> [@JimSox5](#): > > **JimSox5** streaks in to intercept the bullet thrown at the back of **picunurse** ’s head. Really, **Strinka** you could have caused serious injury. How about a little sportsmanship? That’s what Team 1 is all about, I swear. I’ll punt the ball way downfield, as far away from the unsportsmanlike **Strinka**. Oops. Well, I’ll atone for my belated posting above by calling for a fair catch, only to muff the ball, but have it bounce off my hands and into the GOAL! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/131 "2005-09-04T21:06:33Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Oops. Well, I’ll atone for my belated posting above by calling for a fair catch, only to muff the ball, but have it bounce off my hands and into the GOAL! Which, if I read this correctly, allows the as-yet-unnamed TEAM 2 to tie the game at **2-2**. **gardentraveler’s** eyes hurt from reviewing both the rosters and the last few plays approximately 1 million times, so she closess them tightly, grabs what she hopes is the Doperball, and throws it in a random direction, away from herself… ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/132 "2005-09-04T21:40:45Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > Which, if I read this correctly, allows the as-yet-unnamed TEAM 2 to tie the game at **2-2**. **gardentraveler’s** eyes hurt from reviewing both the rosters and the last few plays approximately 1 million times, so she closess them tightly, grabs what she hopes is the Doperball, and throws it in a random direction, away from herself… …where it is caught by **Strinka**. Sorry **picunurse**. To make up for it, I’ll throw the ball at myself. The ball is taken from my unconscious form by… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/133 "2005-09-04T21:46:38Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > …where it is caught by **Strinka**. Sorry **picunurse**. To make up for it, I’ll throw the ball at myself. The ball is taken from my unconscious form by… Me, who spends the next few hours replying to posts before remembering the ball, and hurls it at… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/134 "2005-09-04T21:50:17Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Me, who spends the next few hours replying to posts before remembering the ball, and hurls it at… **Sternvogel** , who completes the “S-to-S-to-S” play by punching the ball into the GOAL for a 3-2 lead! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/135 "2005-09-04T22:15:49Z")
Wandering back into the thread after a day of less than exciting domestic duties, **danceswithcats** takes a swallow of vodka and orange-pineapple juice, smiles at the cheerleaders, is informed that he has fruit pulp stuck to his moustache, and prior to pulling out his Swiss-Army solar-powered trimmer boots the ball downfield to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/136 "2005-09-04T22:29:27Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Wandering back into the thread after a day of less than exciting domestic duties, **danceswithcats** takes a swallow of vodka and orange-pineapple juice, smiles at the cheerleaders, is informed that he has fruit pulp stuck to his moustache, and prior to pulling out his Swiss-Army solar-powered trimmer boots the ball downfield to… … **Feydeau** who jumps straight up in the air and lobs the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/137 "2005-09-04T22:34:33Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** who jumps straight up in the air and lobs the ball to… **gardentraveler** who bravely climbs the tower at the nearest pool, looking desparately for another teammate, takes off her glasses and does a graceful dive, Doperball first, into the cold cold pool. She bobs out of the water and throws the ball energetically at someone she hopes is a teammate (she’s very nearsighted)… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/138 "2005-09-04T22:40:17Z")
noticing how she looks upon emergence from the cold, cold pool, **danceswithcats** gives **gardentraveler** a “How _you_ doin’?” smile before realizing that she’s on the other team and that will have to wait. 😉 Regaining focus, he passes the ball off to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/139 "2005-09-04T22:45:54Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > noticing how she looks upon emergence from the cold, cold pool, **danceswithcats** gives **gardentraveler** a “How _you_ doin’?” smile before realizing that she’s on the other team and that will have to wait. 😉 Regaining focus, he passes the ball off to… **Sternvogel** , who has just bought a relish tray at the local Payless, and sets down the goodies before catching the ball and passing it for a potential scoring opportunity to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/140 "2005-09-04T22:45:58Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > noticing how she looks upon emergence from the cold, cold pool, **danceswithcats** gives **gardentraveler** a “How _you_ doin’?” smile before realizing that she’s on the other team and that will have to wait. 😉 Regaining focus, he passes the ball off to… … **Feydeau** , who grabs the ball and pushes **danceswithcats** into the pool. **Feydeau** then jumps into the pool, himself, tossing the ball through the air to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=8)