# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/141 "2005-09-04T22:47:56Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who has just bought a relish tray at the local Payless, and sets down the goodies before catching the ball and passing it for a potential scoring opportunity to… Holy Crap! Two balls! Well, I catch the one that was thrown first, and quickly pass it to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/142 "2005-09-04T22:49:28Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Holy Crap! Two balls! > > Well, I catch the one that was thrown first, and quickly pass it to… … **Fedyeau** who tosses it to… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/143 "2005-09-04T22:51:50Z")
**danceswithcats** who has clambered quickly from the pool, grabbed the ball and run partially downfield to enthusiastic screaming before realizing his trunks are still in the pool :eek: :o and the screams were laughter. Hiding behind a scrimmage marker, the ball is booted to… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/144 "2005-09-04T22:52:00Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , who grabs the ball and pushes **danceswithcats** into the pool. **Feydeau** then jumps into the pool, himself, tossing the ball through the air to… … **Snakescatlady** , who can’t remember if she’s the third on her team with possession. She sits down to think it over, allowing the cat to play with the DoperBall… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/145 "2005-09-04T22:57:33Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > … **Snakescatlady** , who can’t remember if she’s the third on her team with possession. She sits down to think it over, allowing the cat to play with the DoperBall… Knowing only that all 'S’s are the enemy, she distracts the cat with some catnip and stealthfully sneaks into the shadows, handing the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/146 "2005-09-04T22:57:35Z")
Scott gets nowhere near the ball, and leans over from making his coleslaw, russian dressing and potaoe chip burgers to tell **Snakescatlady** she is third, as per [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6543904&postcount=129) post. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/147 "2005-09-04T23:01:51Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > **danceswithcats** who has clambered quickly from the pool, grabbed the ball and run partially downfield to enthusiastic screaming before realizing his trunks are still in the pool :eek: :o and the screams were laughter. Hiding behind a scrimmage marker, the ball is booted to… **Sternvogel** , who is the second to legally touch the ball on this possession, but hopes **snakescatlady** or another teammate is around to score a goal. Whoops, on preview I see that I’m now taking the ball from **honeydewgrrl** (since **Scott Plaid** specifically said he was nowhere near the ball), and passing it to… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/148 "2005-09-04T23:04:27Z")
Wondering if Samel L. Jackson would proclaim that to be “A mighty tasty burger!” **danceswithcats** snags the pass from **honeydewgrrl** and hurls it mightily in the direction of… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/149 "2005-09-04T23:05:38Z")
well, in that case, I’ll take it from **Sternvogel** and pass to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/150 "2005-09-04T23:06:41Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > well, in that case, I’ll take it from **Sternvogel** and pass to… … **Feydeau** , who passes it to… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/151 "2005-09-04T23:10:13Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , who passes it to… After emerging from the shadows and realizing she had handed the ball to a member of the wrong team, **honeydewgrrl** dives at **Feydeau’s** pass in an simultaneously epic yet meaningless personal quest for redemption. Fleeing from the scene of the theft, she trips over a relish plate, which sends the ball flying from her hands towards… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/152 "2005-09-04T23:12:26Z")
A somewhat recovered **gardentraveler** catches **honeydewgirl’s** pass. She hopes to distract the opposition by mentioning the fact that her swimsuit is still wet and hurls the Doperball into the GOAAAAAAAAAL!!! Of course, **GT** fails to mention that her swim attire is vintage 1920s garb and not really all that revealing as she is actually modest and shy. Or at least that’s what she’d like you to think… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/153 "2005-09-04T23:12:45Z")
Team 1 (Hairy A’s): A B C F G H I M N O T U Y Team 2 (???): D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/154 "2005-09-04T23:22:46Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Team 1 (Hairy A’s): A B C F G H I M N O T U Y > Team 2 (???): D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z **Marque Elf** takes the ball from the bounce (for some reason the ref thinks we’re playing Australian Rules or something) and gets an eyeful of toxic spit courtesy of his opponent who chose to spit on the ball rather than jump for it. Temporarily, perhaps permanently blinded, he tosses the ball in the general direction of what he believes is his team’s goal… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/155 "2005-09-04T23:26:54Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Team 1 (Hairy A’s): A B C F G H I M N O T U Y > Team 2 (???): D E J K L P Q R S V W X Z HA! didn’t think I’d sneek up on your right, did ya? I got the Ba-all I got the Ba-all 😃 Team 2 ?? comeoncomeon…Come on! Oh there’s someone coming now. Hurry, I have to go rescue my stuff from the neighbor’s garage sale. Throws to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/156 "2005-09-04T23:29:46Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > **Marque Elf** takes the ball from the bounce (for some reason the ref thinks we’re playing Australian Rules or something) and gets an eyeful of toxic spit courtesy of his opponent who chose to spit on the ball rather than jump for it. Temporarily, perhaps permanently blinded, he tosses the ball in the general direction of what he believes is his team’s goal… You’re a guy??!? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/157 "2005-09-04T23:30:38Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > HA! didn’t think I’d sneek up on your right, did ya? > I got the Ba-all I got the Ba-all 😃 Team 2 ?? comeoncomeon…Come on! Oh there’s someone coming now. Hurry, I have to go rescue my stuff from the neighbor’s garage sale. Throws to… me, who is already at the garage sale. Boiy, that ball went far. I sell it for 0.27 to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/158 "2005-09-04T23:33:13Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > **Marque Elf** takes the ball from the bounce (for some reason the ref thinks we’re playing Australian Rules or something) and gets an eyeful of toxic spit courtesy of his opponent who chose to spit on the ball rather than jump for it. Temporarily, perhaps permanently blinded, he tosses the ball in the general direction of what he believes is his team’s goal… Unfortunately for him, it is stolen by me ( **picunurse** didn’t indicate from whom she was getting the ball, so her touch doesn’t count), and before I hit the food table, I pass off to… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/159 "2005-09-04T23:35:53Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Unfortunately for him, it is stolen by me ( **picunurse** didn’t indicate from whom she was getting the ball, so her touch doesn’t count), and before I hit the food table, I pass off to… **Feydeau** , who stops to look at the books at the garage sale. The ball is taken by… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/160 "2005-09-04T23:41:47Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > **Feydeau** , who stops to look at the books at the garage sale. The ball is taken by… **Priceguy** , who still harbours feelings of resentment after the fiasco his team suffered during Doperball IV. He is so determined not to let it happen again that he stumbles and drops the ball straight into the hands of… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=9)