# Doperball V--Man, I'm bored **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743 "2005-09-02T15:32:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/161 "2005-09-04T23:46:00Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > **Priceguy** , who still harbours feelings of resentment after the fiasco his team suffered during Doperball IV. He is so determined not to let it happen again that he stumbles and drops the ball straight into the hands of… **gardentraveler** , who can’t help your fiasco issues, but can pass the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/162 "2005-09-04T23:47:30Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > **Priceguy** , who still harbours feelings of resentment after the fiasco his team suffered during Doperball IV. He is so determined not to let it happen again that he stumbles and drops the ball straight into the hands of… Scott, who while chanting “Be the ball, be the ball”, putts it to… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/163 "2005-09-04T23:55:04Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** , who can’t help your fiasco issues, but can pass the ball to… Sorry, it’s **Sternvogel** ( **Scott Plaid** falls victim to the hamsters, but is eligible to receive the ball from me as I whap it with a tennis racket and see it…) ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/164 "2005-09-04T23:57:14Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Sorry, it’s **Sternvogel** ( **Scott Plaid** falls victim to the hamsters, but is eligible to receive the ball from me as I whap it with a tennis racket and see it…) Bounce off my head, and head towards… ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/165 "2005-09-05T00:00:47Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Bounce off my head, and head towards… **gardentraveler** who has decided that badminton would be fun, intercepts the ball, and swats it at… ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/166 "2005-09-05T00:06:55Z")
to **Marque Elf** who catches the ball from **gardentraveler** and can’t decide whether to pass the ball to someone else or vigorously defend his masculinity to **Feydeau** \*, minion of not only the forces of sexual confusion but also of nameless team 2. He decides that a lesson is in order here and… \*what made you think I wasn’t a guy Feydeau? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/167 "2005-09-05T00:07:24Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** who has decided that badminton would be fun, intercepts the ball, and swats it at… **Sternvogel** , who begins another possession for A Team With No Name by taking the ball to a used-record store, where it is discovered in the bargain bin by… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/168 "2005-09-05T00:09:56Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** , who begins another possession for A Team With No Name by taking the ball to a used-record store, where it is discovered in the bargain bin by… Scott, who puts it on his old record player. However, it flies off towards… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/169 "2005-09-05T00:10:37Z")
Okay, I steal from **marque elf** , then. Who’s going to remove the ball from between “Tiny Tim’s Greatest Hits” and the Partridge Family’s “Shopipng Bag”? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/170 "2005-09-05T00:12:14Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Okay, I steal from **marque elf** , then. Who’s going to remove the ball from between “Tiny Tim’s Greatest Hits” and the Partridge Family’s “Shopipng Bag”? I use the power of retro music to retroactivly pass it on to someone else… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/171 "2005-09-05T00:17:09Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > I use the power of retro music to retroactivly pass it on to someone else… Namely **Priceguy** , who rides the winds of jazz into the goal and scores! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/172 "2005-09-05T00:38:29Z")
Okay, we’re up 4-3! I’ll just put the ball into play by teeing it up and kicking it soccer-style down the field, where it’s caught by… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/173 "2005-09-05T00:50:06Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Okay, we’re up 4-3! I’ll just put the ball into play by teeing it up and kicking it soccer-style down the field, where it’s caught by… … **Feydeau** , who waltzes around with the DoperBall grandly waiting for… marque elf, it’s just the “elf” thing – not that I think you’re posts are effiminate. I blame elfbabe. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/174 "2005-09-05T01:01:28Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > … **Feydeau** , who waltzes around with the DoperBall grandly waiting for… > > Marque Elf to steal the ball from Feydeau when he realizes that no one is listening to his rant. He takes the ball and heads towards the stands just to see if anybody is paying attention or they’re too busy talking on their cell phones. It’s a magnificent frozen rope of a header and… > > marque elf, it’s just the “elf” thing – not that I think you’re posts are effiminate. I blame elfbabe. **Feydeau** , elf is german for eleven. I thought it might have some people miscontrue it to have something to do with D&D but it never occurred that it would create sexual ambiguity also. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/175 "2005-09-05T01:15:59Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > Marque Elf to steal the ball from Feydeau when he realizes that no one is listening to his rant. He takes the ball and heads towards the stands just to see if anybody is paying attention or they’re too busy talking on their cell phones. It’s a magnificent frozen rope of a header and… **Sternvogel** intercepts it for Team 2 and hopes one of his teammates notices that it’s under the table where the triple-chocolate cake has just been set down. Who baked that delicacy, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/176 "2005-09-05T01:18:17Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > **Sternvogel** intercepts it for Team 2 and hopes one of his teammates notices that it’s under the table where the triple-chocolate cake has jus tbeen set down. Who baked that delicacy, anyway? Ohhh, A chocolate cake! ::Not noticing the cake, my foot hits the ball, and it heads towards…:: ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/177 "2005-09-05T01:19:49Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Ohhh, A chocolate cake! ::Not noticing the cake, my foot hits the ball, and it heads towards…:: **gardentraveler** who will be back for cake but first needs to toss the Doperball to… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/178 "2005-09-05T01:24:21Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > **gardentraveler** who will be back for cake but first needs to toss the Doperball to… Eating dinner with one hand and going on the offensive against the Unnamed Ones with the other, I catch the ball and toss it into the net. GOAL!!! ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/179 "2005-09-05T01:26:01Z")
Ok, so I just thought it was the goal. It was really an open 2nd story window which it sails through and… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743/180 "2005-09-05T01:28:35Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Ok, so I just thought it was the goal. It was really an open 2nd story window which it sails through and… hits me on the back of the head. I was writting, now I am interupted. I lob it as hard as I can towards… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-v-man-im-bored/319743.md?page=10)