# Doperball VI **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2007, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873 "2007-02-05T02:30:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/181 "2007-02-07T14:26:42Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Happy morning to you all… Rubystreak’s got the ball. She’s a poet and don’t she know it. Hope she don’t blow it. Tries to throw it… [/QUOTE] at Captain Carrot’s head again, but misses and throws it directly into his arms, which he promptly unloads to… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/182 "2007-02-07T14:31:43Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] …to **Kotick** who barely saves the throw thanks to the butterfly-net, and who kicks the ball towards… [/QUOTE] Fine, I’ll take it from you instead, and boot it into the arms of… ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/183 "2007-02-07T14:44:44Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Fine, I’ll take it from you instead, and boot it into the arms of… [/QUOTE] **Kotick** , who is in the process of testing the saying “hoist with his own petard” by building such a petard, lighting fire to it, and starts running, with the ball of course, just to not make it when the petard explodes, sending the ball and player flying towards… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/184 "2007-02-07T14:50:35Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] **Kotick** , who is in the process of testing the saying “hoist with his own petard” by building such a petard, lighting fire to it, and starts running, with the ball of course, just to not make it when the petard explodes, sending the ball and player flying towards… [/QUOTE] the goal, in which progress it will be assisted by Captain Carrot and whoever is along shortly… ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/185 "2007-02-07T15:01:30Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] the goal, in which progress it will be assisted by Captain Carrot and whoever is along shortly… [/QUOTE] But **Captain Carot** is tackled by **Kotick** who is still flying after the explosion, and wrestles the ball and kicks it midfield… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/186 "2007-02-07T15:12:06Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] But **Captain Carrot** is tackled by **Kotick** who is still flying after the explosion, and wrestles the ball and kicks it midfield… [/QUOTE] to Captain Carrot, who miraculously teleports there, and is assisted by… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/187 "2007-02-07T15:15:07Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] to Captain Carrot, who miraculously teleports there, and is assisted by… [/QUOTE] The lovely Vanna White…errr.. I mean me who has decided to heck with it everybody gets pantsed now… yanks **CC’s** pants down causing the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/188 "2007-02-07T15:22:48Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] The lovely Vanna White…errr.. I mean me who has decided to heck with it everybody gets pantsed now… yanks **CC’s** pants down causing the ball to… [/QUOTE] …roll over to **Kotick** , who is contemplating his broken butterfly-net which is still smoking after the explosion. He tries to catch the ball with it, but suddenly the butterfly-net cathces fire again also lighting the ball covered in inflammable zombie goo, and **Kotick** has to kick the burning ball over to… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/189 "2007-02-07T15:51:05Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] …roll over to **Kotick** , who is contemplating his broken butterfly-net which is still smoking after the explosion. He tries to catch the ball with it, but suddenly the butterfly-net catches fire again also lighting the ball covered in inflammable zombie goo, and **Kotick** has to kick the burning ball over to… [/QUOTE] Captain Carrot, who is fortunately protected by his armor, and flings the ball into the stadium, where… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/190 "2007-02-07T16:26:47Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Captain Carrot, who is fortunately protected by his armor, and flings the ball into the stadium, where… [/QUOTE] It lands smack in the middle of the cole slaw! I spent hours makin’ that and now it’s got icky ball in it. Picks up slaw covered ball and throws it in the general directon of… ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/191 "2007-02-07T16:28:43Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] It lands smack in the middle of the cole slaw! I spent hours makin’ that and now it’s got icky ball in it. Picks up slaw covered ball and throws it in the general directon of… [/QUOTE] … **Kotick** , who in the meanwhile has had time to build a mini-petard, which he places the ball on top of, lights a fire to, and _BOOOOM_… ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/192 "2007-02-07T16:29:58Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] It lands smack in the middle of the cole slaw! I spent hours makin’ that and now it’s got icky ball in it. Picks up slaw covered ball and throws it in the general directon of… [/QUOTE] **Rysto** , who is dead unconscious and having nightmares about co-routines. As conciousness has never been a requirement to play doperball, he technically has possession until… ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/193 "2007-02-07T16:36:23Z")
[QUOTE=Rysto] **Rysto** , who is dead unconscious and having nightmares about co-routines. As conciousness has never been a requirement to play doperball, he technically has possession until… [/QUOTE] Team Lazy Explosion is really living up to the name. Lets assume that you are dead unconciuos from my explosion, meaning the pass was from **Kotick** to **Rysto**. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/194 "2007-02-07T17:58:30Z")
Carping the diem, as it were, I seize the fish…or is that a fish having a seizure? In any event, I duct tape a fish to the ball which I’ve just managed to obtain from Kotick, dredging same in a nice mixture of flour and Old Bay™, before pan-frying with a hint of garlic and white wine, before tossing the whole mess into the net for SCORE! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/195 "2007-02-07T19:50:28Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Carping the diem, as it were, I seize the fish…or is that a fish having a seizure? In any event, I duct tape a fish to the ball which I’ve just managed to obtain from Kotick, dredging same in a nice mixture of flour and Old Bay™, before pan-frying with a hint of garlic and white wine, before tossing the whole mess into the net for SCORE! [/QUOTE] And if I hadn’t been kicked off the computer, you wouldn’t have! I carefully pack the ball in bubblewrap, put it in a box, load it in another cannon, and fire it down the field… ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/196 "2007-02-07T20:56:53Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] And if I hadn’t been kicked off the computer, you wouldn’t have! I carefully pack the ball in bubblewrap, put it in a box, load it in another cannon, and fire it down the field… [/QUOTE] Where I, who stayed home during yesterday’s snowstorm and thus failed to get onto the computer or field, catch the ball in my wool cap, and subsequently fling it to… ---
**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/197 "2007-02-07T21:24:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Where I, who stayed home during yesterday’s snowstorm and thus failed to get onto the computer or field, catch the ball in my wool cap, and subsequently fling it to… Snipe, who stands and wonders why he’s holding a ball and how he got on this field when he’s hit from behind and fumbles the ball to… ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/198 "2007-02-07T21:29:05Z")
**Pygmy Rugger** , ensuring that **Sternvogel** ’s illegal activity is inconsequential, uses a Jedi-mind-trick to boot the ball away, after becoming cannon fodder for **Captain Carrot** ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/199 "2007-02-07T21:35:35Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] **Pygmy Rugger** , ensuring that **Sternvogel** ’s illegal activity is inconsequential, uses a Jedi-mind-trick to boot the ball away, after becoming cannon fodder for **Captain Carrot** [/QUOTE] Indeed, Captain Carrot immediately fires Pygmy Rugger out of a cannon, though not before pocketing the ball; his pocket is picked by… Check if you’re the third in a row for your team, because that’s how you get points. Next person needs to post the score and the teams, 'case it’ll be a new page. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873/200 "2007-02-07T21:37:21Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] **Pygmy Rugger** , ensuring that **Sternvogel** ’s illegal activity is inconsequential, uses a Jedi-mind-trick to boot the ball away, after becoming cannon fodder for **Captain Carrot** [/QUOTE] Not knowing how I committed an illegal activity, I intercept **Pygmy Rugger** ’s pass and pack the ball into a passing lawyer’s briefcase, from which it is removed by… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doperball-vi/390873.md?page=11)