# Dopers: Answer the James Lipton questionnaire! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 27, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098 "2004-07-27T14:36:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/1 "2004-07-27T14:36:48Z")
It’s been nearly two years since the last time this thread was brought out, so I felt safe making a new one. 🙂 If you’ve ever watched “Inside the Actor’s Studio” with James Lipton, he always asks the celebrity filmmaker to answer these 10 questions. Reply to this post with the answers to these questions: 1. What is your favorite word? 2. What is your least favorite word? 3. What turns you on? 4. What turns you off? 5. What sound do you love? 6. What sound do you hate? 7. What is your favorite curse word? 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? * * * 1. Established 2. Peon 3. Candles, mood lighting and Marvin Gaye played softly over the sweaty moans of a hardcore lesbian orgy. 🙂 4. Those pins they put in dress shirts. 5. The “baby’s first fuss” sound of my little girl in the morning. It reminds me of life. 6. Emergency vehicle sirens. 7. Monkey balls. 8. Club house DJ. 9. Lab rat. 10. Well, did you learn anything down there, or do you need to go back? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/2 "2004-07-27T15:27:30Z")
/hijack/ I lost interest in hearing how the celebrities answer a long time ago. In the beginning it was a surprise and they answered off the top of their head. Now everyone knows its coming but they feel the need to pretend they weren’t expecting it. They probably spend days trying to figure out the right answer. /end hijack/ ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/3 "2004-07-27T16:29:50Z")
1. Rumble. 2. No. 3. I do. 4. I do. 5. Breaking of glass Christmas ornaments 6. Pots and Pans banging together in the drawer. 7. Fuck 8. Stand up comidian 9. Politics 10. The bar is over there, next to all those beautiful women playing poker in the front yard of your new house. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/4 "2004-07-27T17:10:33Z")
**1. What is your favorite word?** I really like the way the word \*silhouette \* looks and \*anitpathy \* has a cool pronunication. \*\*2. What is your least favorite word? \*\* Preggers in particular but cutesy words in general. I also dislike the word belly. \*\*3. What turns you on? \*\* Girls next door; intelligence; feminity; a stiff breeze. \*\*4. What turns you off? \*\* Smoking; excessive tattoos; excessive vulgarity; rabid partisanship; facial piercings \*\*5. What sound do you love? \*\* I love the sound of thunderstorms. And cats purring contentedly. \*\*6. What sound do you hate? \*\* I’m a quiet person by nature so most any sort of sound I am not personally making annoys me. Hypocritical, but the truth. \*\*7. What is your favorite curse word? \*\* _Fuck_. My favorite phrase would probably be _motherfucking christ_. \*\*8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? \*\* I think I’d make an okay editor. Some sort of consultant for Star Trek would be a dream job. \*\*9. What profession would you not like to participate in? \*\* Entomologist. **10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?** Being an atheist, I really have no idea. That he’d let me in, I guess. Hell doesn’t sound like fun. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/5 "2004-07-27T17:31:31Z")
**1. What is your favorite word?** _cromulent_ \*\*2. What is your least favorite word? \*\* _seep_ \*\*3. What turns you on? \*\* _intelligence_ \*\*4. What turns you off? \*\* _stupidity_ \*\*5. What sound do you love? \*\* _gentle rain on a tin roof_ \*\*6. What sound do you hate? \*\* _that beeping noise a bulldozer or other big truck makes backing up_ \*\*7. What is your favorite curse word? \*\* _fucktard_ \*\*8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? \*\* _used bookseller_ \*\*9. What profession would you not like to participate in? \*\* _septic tank maintenance_ **10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?** _It’s about damn time!_ ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/6 "2004-07-27T17:44:21Z")
1. What is your favorite word? **Eternity** 2. What is your least favorite word? **Republican** 3. What turns you on? **S&M** 4. What turns you off? **jesus freaks** 5. What sound do you love? **my dog “talking” to me** 6. What sound do you hate? **car crash sounds** 7. What is your favorite curse word? **fuck** 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? **astronaut** 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? **President of the United States** 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? [Wayne’s World voice] **Saaaaattttaaaaannnn!** [/WWV] ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/7 "2004-07-27T18:14:17Z")
1. What is your favorite word? Reason 2. What is your least favorite word? God 3. What turns you on? – During the act? Obvious arousal, and attraction to ME. In a partner? Intelligence, humor, open sexuality, and (unfortunately) a little neurosis. 4. What turns you off? – During the act? Laughing (sex is serious business, dammit). In a partner? Stupidity, tight-assedness. 5. What sound do you love? – Frying 6. What sound do you hate? – Screaming in pain 7. What is your favorite curse word? – Fuck, including permutations like “neanderfuck,” “fuckwit,” fucksicle," etc. 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? – Radio voice 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? – Coal miner 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? – “I’m sorry.” ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/8 "2004-07-27T18:30:22Z")
1. What is your favorite word? river 2. What is your least favorite word? hegemony 3. What turns you on? laughing 4. What turns you off? cruelty 5. What sound do you love? owls 6. What sound do you hate? chewing gum 7. What is your favorite curse word? shit on a stick 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? architecture 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? meat processing 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Welcome, your family, friends and pets are right over there.” ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/9 "2004-07-27T18:39:21Z")
**1. What is your favorite word?** Luscious \*\*2. What is your least favorite word? \*\* Vagina \*\*3. What turns you on? \*\* Vicious wit and intelligence \*\*4. What turns you off? \*\* Pretentiousness \*\*5. What sound do you love? \*\* Rain in the night \*\*6. What sound do you hate? \*\* Irritating human voices \*\*7. What is your favorite curse word? \*\* Fuckpig/Bollocks \*\*8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? \*\* Novelist \*\*9. What profession would you not like to participate in? \*\* Butcher **10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?** “No, you weren’t wrong all those years. I don’t really exist”. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/10 "2004-07-27T18:41:31Z")
1. What is your favorite word? I don’t have a favorite word. I like long words whose meanings are vague to most people, or short strange words. Like plenipoteniary or quark. 2. What is your least favorite word? Trendy words like wonk and actionable get on my nerves, particularly when misused. 3. What turns you on? Smelling, but ever so faintly, a beautiful woman as she walks past on a spring day. 4. What turns you off? Brash voices, rude behaviour. 5. What sound do you love? The sound of a pop top being opened… rushing water in the distance… my children snoring gently. 6. What sound do you hate? Brakes locking up. 7. What is your favorite curse word? Holy flurking schmidt! 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Lawyer, doctor, real estate agent. 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? Accounting. 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Party of one? I’ve got your reservation right here. Don’t worry about not believing in me all of those years, it’s the people who kill in my name that don’t get in. Beer and munchies are over by the pool.” ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/11 "2004-07-27T18:43:36Z")
1. What is your favorite word? **Peculiar** 1. What is your least favorite word? **Talked** 1. What turns you on? **Powerful arms** 1. What turns you off? **Arrogance** 1. What sound do you love? **thunderstorms** 1. What sound do you hate? **other people chewing** 1. What is your favorite curse word? **motherfuck** 1. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? **Dancer** 1. What profession would you not like to participate in? **Medecine** 1. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? **"Atta girl. Where to next?"** ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/12 "2004-07-27T18:44:15Z")
1. What is your favorite word? Ameublement. It’s french. 2. What is your least favorite word? Office, when it’s used as a verb. 3. What turns you on? Intelligence 4. What turns you off? The opposite of #3 5. What sound do you love? A raspy female singer’s voice 6. What sound do you hate? Nail file. Shudder. 7. What is your favorite curse word? Snatch. I dunno why. 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Music producer. 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? Surgeon. Hats off to 'em tho. 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “I’m an atheist too!” and then “Poof” God disappeared. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/13 "2004-07-27T18:55:31Z")
[ol] [li]onomatopoeia [/li][li]glockenspiel [/li][li]The tiny switch behind my left ear.[/li][li]The tiny switch behind my right ear.[/li][li]Bacon sizzling.[/li][li]The doorbell[/li][li]Shitfuckbastardassdick[/li][li]Lighthouse keeper[/li][li]Mop boy at the Smut Cinema[/li][li]Your dogs’re waiting for you two blocks down on the left.[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/14 "2004-07-27T19:19:39Z")
1. Defenestrate 2. Puke 3. A light touch 4. Slobbering 5. Rain tapping on a roof 6. Horns honking 7. Fuck 8. Police detective 9. Medicine 10. “Ehh, 's okay; we let non-believers in all the time!” ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/15 "2004-07-27T19:31:38Z")
1. breast 2. glean 3. thunderstorms 4. business speak 5. a geyser 6. electronic fire alarm 7. godammit 8. violinist 9. soldier 10. You are now enlightened. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/16 "2004-07-27T19:43:49Z")
1. What is your favorite word? **Tertiary. It’s just fun to say.** 2. What is your least favorite word? **Proactive. Corporate America totally invented this word.** 3. What turns you on? **A sense of humor, a little honesty, a bit of dorkiness, and a pair of blue eyes.** 4. What turns you off? **Financial dependence and a noticeable lack of important teeth.** 5. What sound do you love? **Everybody loves the ice cream truck. But I think I’m going to go with distant thunder, hard rain, and laughter.** 6. What sound do you hate? **My alarm clock is deliberately grating so I get the hell up.** 7. What is your favorite curse word? **I suppose I say “fuck” more than any other. But George Carlin’s “Mongolian clusterfuck” is my favorite compound swear.** 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? **Superfamous Actress or Novelist.** 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? **Slaughtering veal, cleaning Port Authority bathrooms, or working in Quality Control at the Q-Tip Thermometer factory. (Obscure joke, can’t help it.)** 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? " **Thank _Me_ you’re here … we almost lost control of the Chippendales while they were waiting for you. Your cabana and every deceased friend, relative or pet you ever loved are to the left, the all-you-can-eat-never-gain-weight cheesecake factory is to the right."** ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/17 "2004-07-27T19:59:10Z")
1. What is your favorite word? Defenestrate 2. What is your least favorite word? Rhinoplasty 3. What turns you on? My imagination 4. What turns you off? Pain 5. What sound do you love? Doves cooing 6. What sound do you hate? Peacocks screeching 7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Can’t think of one 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? Doctor 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/18 "2004-07-27T20:06:39Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > 1. What is your favorite word? Defenestrate > [@Cosmopolitan](#): > > 1. Defenestrate **Ethilrist** , meet **Cosmo**. **Cosmo, Ethilrist**. 🙂 I propose a blindfolded rake fight for first rights to “defenestrate.” Two men entah, one maaahn leeeves. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/19 "2004-07-27T20:12:42Z")
1. What is your favorite word? Some good choices already listed. I’m going to go with ‘auxiliary’. 2. What is your least favorite word? ‘activist’ I consider myself an ‘inactivist’. 3. What turns you on? A capacity for mild depravity, someone who gets my jokes. 4. What turns you off? Oh, pretentiousness, disloyalty. 5. What sound do you love? The unfiltered, uncontrolled ‘snort’ laugh when I say something so unexpectedly funny that the person can’t help themselves. 6. What sound do you hate? Bass speakers, pounding against my floor, at 3AM. 7. What is your favorite curse word? ‘Heck’. I know, I know… 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Screenwriting. 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? Medical Doctor 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Welcome back, boss.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098/20 "2004-07-27T20:23:26Z")
1. What is your favorite word? **Persistence** 2. What is your least favorite word? **Ugly** 3. What turns you on? **Honesty** 4. What turns you off? **Hate** 5. What sound do you love? \*\*Windchimes \*\* 6. What sound do you hate? **Sirens** 7. What is your favorite curse word? **Holy F\*ck** 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? **Artist** 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? **Nurse** 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? **"Ya done good, Baby Girl."** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-answer-the-james-lipton-questionnaire/257098.md?page=2)