# Dopers are understanding creatures (until their precious message board has problems) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 18, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791 "2008-03-18T15:56:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/81 "2008-03-19T12:58:28Z")
[QUOTE=Labrador Deceiver] I fail to see how you are spending any fewer brain cells than anyone else posting in this thread. [/QUOTE] Well, lets not get into a debate over my metaphor. I was referring to the energy being burnt in anxiety, not in posting on the boards. [QUOTE=Wee Bairn] No one would slam anyone for complaining if their cable or phone internet was out as often as the board is, and its no different than those- an entertainment service you pay money for and expect to function normally the majority of the time. [/QUOTE] When threads like these come up this point is often raised by those who see themselves as consumers and customers of the SDMB. But there’s another group who view the boards as a community and the money they spend is almost like the tithes church members give to enable the community to exist. And never the two groups shall see eye-to-eye. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/82 "2008-03-19T12:58:48Z")
[QUOTE=GomiBoy] > [@Dead Badger](#): > > blah blah blah Guess reading ain’t one of your strong suits. [/QUOTE] This is brilliant. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hogwash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@Hogwash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogwash)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/83 "2008-03-19T13:06:28Z")
I second **GomiBoy** ’s request. Can we actually get an IT professional in here please? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/84 "2008-03-19T13:14:54Z")
More calmly: **GomiBoy** , your estimations appear far too high. The entire SDMB active database is somewhere between 2 & 10 GB from what I recall of prior comments by **Jerry**. The board has 8,138,595 posts. The average would 500 characters plus links. Call it 2K per post. That would be approximately an uncompressed 16gigs. The Data is stored in compressed text format, including the tags. The lack on any stored graphics in the database allows it to remain small. You might recall that Jerry regularly archives older threads. I would guess that 10 Gigs his current limit in size until he gets a chance to move us to a new version. This might not be a limit of the version we are on, but rather just the MySql setup. Most of our problems appear to be from a beat up old database being accessed by an obsolete version of vBulletin. The vBulletin message board had threads about tuning the newer versions of vBulletin to fix search problems like we have. Additionally, the SDMB has problem with general searches. The New Post search is only a small resource hit as it was only checking recent posts. These are fast searches. \*\*I hope this detail estimate helps clear this argument up a bit. \*\* **Disclaimer** : _IT Pro, Programmer/Analyst and Database design but no working knowledge of vBulletin_ Jim [QUOTE=Bottom of every page] Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.7 Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/85 "2008-03-19T13:31:29Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Badger] Oh, I missed this. Considering that I am looking, right now, at the “pagetext” field of a post entry in the “post” table of a vBulletin installation’s database, and I am seeing the exact same text that is entered by the users - yes, I really think the posts are kept in plain text. In fact I would go so far as to say that I know it for a fact. Why, what do _you_ think they’re stored in, PDF? Er, really easily? Like, about as easily as anything is possibly searchable? Ah yes, the massive overheads of plain text; how the early computer scientists cursed its very name, waiting with bated breath for the arrival of compact formats like .doc, or even .tiff files. Wait, what? Oh, he was miffed a week or so ago because someone bumped in to him at a train station and a restaurant was full. You know, _important_ stuff. [/QUOTE] You’re a nitpicking little annoyance, that’s to be sure. Keep quoting me out of context and you’re sure to prove your point, right? Well two little things - the ‘overheads’ I was referring to is the costs of servers, bandwidth, administration, license, etc… none of which are free and all of which are costs that you neglect to even consider. So where does that cost come from then? If I did over-estimate the storage requirements, are you now going to tell me that those things are all free as the fairies and therefore the board has no excuse for not running like a Ferrari? Second - in both this thread and the other, I defended someone’s right to bitch and moan, either about the boards’ service or the French or whatever the fuck you want. What you seem intent on ignoring is that my entire post was to inform people laboring under some misconception that the board was pay because admins were getting rich off of it, which is patently not true. For the rest of it, do me a favor and fold your outrage into a sharp little ball and ram it directly up your ass. This board will be a better place when posters like you fuck off into the wild blue yonder with your refusal to admit error, your complete incompetence, and your inability to allow anyone but yourself to hold the fucking soapbox of towering indignation that you don’t get treated like some kind of limo-driving fat cat for paying $15 a year. **What Exit?** - sure, I could be wrong. As a grown-up I am happy to discuss and learn from another professional, recognize when an error has been made, correct it, and move on. But for a moaning little fuckstain like Dead Badger, why even waste my breath? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/86 "2008-03-19T13:42:07Z")
> [@GomiBoy](#): > > the ‘overheads’ I was referring to is the costs of servers, bandwidth, administration, license, etc… You bloody well were not: > [@GomiBoy](#): > > Or are you happy with the massive overhead of parsing and storing plain text? This, in a conversation _explicitly_ about the size of the database, rather implies to me that the overheads to which you refer are (shock!) related to the storage. Y’know, like you said. There, in your words. Your entire cost estimate was based around storage costs. Don’t whinge at me because I take issue with your actual argument, rather than the argument you wished you’d made had you been clever enough. > [@GomiBoy](#): > > Second - in both this thread and the other, I defended someone’s right to bitch and moan… Yeah, huh? Wait, what’s this? > [@GomiBoy](#): > > I second Lobsang’s STFU - we’re paying a pittance for this service. [QUOTE=GomiBoy] This board will be a better place when posters like you fuck off into the wild blue yonder with your refusal to admit error, your complete incompetence, and your inability to allow anyone but yourself to hold the fucking soapbox of towering indignation that you don’t get treated like some kind of limo-driving fat cat for paying $15 a year. [/quote] I wasn’t wrong. My estimates of the database size are pretty much bang on, while yours is not merely out of the ballpark, it’s playing a different game. I don’t think the admins are swimming in piles of our cash, and if you actually read my posts I’ve expressed indignation only at some jumped-up dickhead who thinks he knows how websites are run because his company does storage. All I think is that it should be perfectly possible to run a competent messageboard of this size on the subscription money we pay, and that people are perfectly within their rights to complain about it. > [@GomiBoy](#): > > **What Exit?** - sure, I could be wrong. As a grown-up I am happy to discuss and learn from another professional, recognize when an error has been made, correct it, and move on. But for a moaning little fuckstain like Dead Badger, why even waste my breath? This gets better by the second. You _are_ wrong, and yet you have the frankly hilarious temerity to complain that other people won’t admit their mistakes. It’s quite breath-taking, it really is. You’re not a professional, you’re a twat. ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/87 "2008-03-19T13:44:14Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Badger] You’re not a professional, you’re a twat. [/QUOTE] You’re a lying sack of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/88 "2008-03-19T13:44:33Z")
So’s your face. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/89 "2008-03-19T13:47:56Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Badger] So’s your face. 😃 [/QUOTE] Wow, a clever liar. Surprise me. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/90 "2008-03-19T13:57:14Z")
Don’t you dare give up, **GomiBoy**! There’s too much entertainment value in watching **Dead Badger** beating you down and skullfucking you! I can’t help but laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/91 "2008-03-19T13:57:50Z")
Okay: despite generally being considered a containing bowler, Matthew Hoggard’s strike rate is actually noticeably higher than that of Wasim Akram. In your _face_! He also prefers PostgreSQL to cuddling, and pluralises the names of his tables. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/92 "2008-03-19T14:01:36Z")
Backing away slowly, “Is this about more than the server issues?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/93 "2008-03-19T14:09:32Z")
The first one to come up with “I’m rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks on you.” wins. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/94 "2008-03-19T14:51:56Z")
[QUOTE=peekercpa] The first one to come up with “I’m rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks on you.” wins. [/QUOTE] [You can _do_ that?](http://xkcd.com/392/) ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/95 "2008-03-19T15:06:05Z")
[QUOTE=peekercpa] The first one to come up with “I’m rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks on you.” wins. [/QUOTE] Argh. Totally wrong. The _correct_ phrase is… I’m rubber, you’re glue. Bounce off me and stick to you. You’ll notice that the _correct_ version scans. 😉😃 * * * Am I totally evil if I say that, although I have no idea what the tech-slinging here is all about, this… > [@](#): > > _You’re not just talking about installing more hamsters, you’re talking about creating load-balanced clusters with shared storage arrays and having a huge pipe to serve it all up…_ …got me totally hot? 😃 Instantly I visualized the Straight Dope Matrix humming and throbbing with power, white-coat-clad techies rushing around with clipboards in front of a banked array of blinking lights. Yesss! I want! ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/96 "2008-03-19T15:08:23Z")
Usually the guy that remains calm–especially in the face of the guy that’s getting more and more wound up–is right. In this case **DB** is the calm, rational guy, and I’m betting he’s right. Not just because of the above, but because he’s constructed a solid argument based on facts in evidence and furthermore shot down most of **GomiBoy’s** arguments, often using his own freaking words against him. Gomi, you and Lobsang are really giving Brits a bad name today. Maybe you two should take a little time out or something. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/97 "2008-03-19T15:17:52Z")
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] Stick around; “this too shall pass”. We periodically go through this whole “board performance” convulsion, it’s all part of the Straight Dope Experience. Eventually a band-aid and a handful of amphetamines will be supplied to the ailing hamster, Search will be re-enabled, and it’ll be business as usual. Until the next time. If you leave now, you’ll miss some good stuff. [/QUOTE] Thanks, **DDG**. I’m not going to run off or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/98 "2008-03-19T15:20:24Z")
[QUOTE=flyboy] Usually the guy that remains calm–especially in the face of the guy that’s getting more and more wound up–is right. In this case **DB** is the calm, rational guy, and I’m betting he’s right. Not just because of the above, but because he’s constructed a solid argument based on facts in evidence and furthermore shot down most of **GomiBoy’s** arguments, often using his own freaking words against him. Gomi, you and Lobsang are really giving Brits a bad name today. Maybe you two should take a little time out or something. [/QUOTE] Gomi’s American, and Dead Badger is British, as far as I know. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/99 "2008-03-19T15:24:50Z")
[QUOTE=Capt. Ridley’s Shooting Party] Gomi’s American, and Dead Badger is British, as far as I know. [/QUOTE] A charter member with over 2000 posts and a memorable name. Did you use to go by another name or have you barely posted for two year after posting a lot? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791/100 "2008-03-19T15:29:23Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] Don’t you dare give up, **GomiBoy**! There’s too much entertainment value in watching **Dead Badger** beating you down and skullfucking you! I can’t help but laugh. [/QUOTE] Trust me, he won’t give up. He should, but the evidence has shown that he’ll just continue to proclaim his superiority. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-are-understanding-creatures-until-their-precious-message-board-has-problems/441791.md?page=6)