# Dopers helping other Dopers in bad times **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182 "2010-08-23T17:44:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/1 "2010-08-23T17:44:17Z")
Referencing this thread, where the conversation got started: > **[What are some of the mindsets of poor people that keeps them poor?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=574564)** > > In this thread asking Why Would an African American Dislike Direct Deposit? people described a number of habits of people that tend to keep them poorer than they need to be, either by incurring hidden costs or failing to take advantage of things that... Rather than confuse things in IMHO I’m starting a new thread on this exact subject here. The staff has been asked what Dopers could do to help other Dopers who are going through hard times/financial and other negative situations. There’s so many people having so much distress and the thread above witnesses some of that up close. So we need to ask you, members of the Straight Dope community: Do you want to help? What do you want to do? How can we make this happen? Responses here or in PM or [EMAIL=“[tubadiva@aol.com](mailto:tubadiva@aol.com)”]email if you don’t want to talk publicly. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/2 "2010-08-23T18:07:55Z")
I do often want to help; I would usually send some money, except the currency barrier gets in the way and I’m no fan of PayPal. I don’t know how involved the Straight Dope needs to be, except letting us know of people who need some help. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/3 "2010-08-23T21:23:46Z")
Not a fan of the idea. If we want to help individuals, I think we should PM them. If they’re out of work, we can offer suggestions or referrals to those in our area. But a general collection to spread out over a pool of applicants? Um, no. First of all, the discernment process would be very difficult. Who wants the task of wading through needy applicants and prioritizing their difficulty? How could the judges not be biased for people they like and against people they don’t? Would someone who joined a week ago get the same consideration as someone who’s been here for ten years? Secondly, unless you’re willing to do some fact checking, it’s a situation ripe for abuse. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/4 "2010-08-23T21:35:59Z")
I think individually would be a better idea also. Heck, I am without any form of income and people I know personally are supplying me with toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/5 "2010-08-23T22:59:10Z")
There still needs to be a clearing house or someplace to aggregate information. If I want to stock someone’s pantry in Indianapolis (or nearby), someone needs to connect that with a local Doper. ---
**Author:** ![PeacePlease](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@PeacePlease](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeacePlease)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/6 "2010-08-23T23:04:21Z")
No income, no unemployment. Don’t know where I’ll be next month. Any help appreciated. Contact via email… Love this board. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/7 "2010-08-23T23:55:18Z")
I’m with Cat Whisperer. I would like to help but one on one is not feasible (unfortunately I have no access to toilet paper in Indianapolis). So I would need a clearing house to be able to go through- perhaps a Mod, a panel or such. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/8 "2010-08-24T01:15:23Z")
As both a former donor and a former recipient of Doper aid, I can only once again thank this community for helping me out in hard times. I was contacted via PM to make arrangements to send me help and it worked well for me. If I recall, that has been how we did thing in the past, too. However, a clearing house thread might not be all bad, where one could say “Hey, I need a contact in Indianapolis to help Doper XYZ” or people could post websites with useful information (one Doper has posted about Angel Food a couple times, which is not only a thrifty was to buy groceries for anyone but they also accept food stamps) or some such. Or link to threads discussing relevant topics (such as getting eyeglasses on a strict budget, for example) Or some other use for such a thread. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/9 "2010-08-24T03:03:43Z")
I’m torn. I don’t have a lot and sometimes the few bucks I can spare seem ------ well, not much considering the problem or need. When I have responded its been because a mod backed up that the need was real and because it was a poster I enjoy reading. A central “kitty” sounds nice but administration could be a real nightmare - but its something I would throw a few dollars (or help IRL) if I could. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/10 "2010-08-24T04:13:07Z")
I don’t like this idea at all. Doper help is supposed to be an underground thing. Once word gets out that we have some charity floating around, the Guest-Aug 2010 crowd will start pouring in with out-turned pockets. What’s the main problem with how we do it now? I don’t think there is one. Sure, a clearinghouse has its benefits, but it comes with more drawbacks than it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/11 "2010-08-25T22:51:19Z")
While I’m probably one of those Dopers that needs help right now, I’m not sure exactly what you’re proposing, or if (and this is okay, too) it’s more a question of brainstorming how can we help one another more efficiently. I’m not sure the Dope is set up to be a rotating charity, or a micro-loan site or really anything at all to do with continual aid. I’m intrigued with the idea in general, I guess I just don’t have the vision to see what it might look like within our community without, as **Chessic Sense** points out, bringing in hoards of people who aren’t looking for anything but a handout. But, uh, in the meantime…if there are any Chicagoland Dopers who are or who know a nice landlord who’s not too picky about shaky credit scores (shaky but not dreadful) and has a decent 3+ bedroom place to rent out, go ahead and PM me! 😃 And, on the flipside, if there are any Dopers who need non-financial help, like proofreading papers for your classes or first year Nursing tutoring, PM me and I’d be happy to help out! ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/12 "2010-08-26T21:26:36Z")
I am so grateful, and thank you for notifying me TubaDiva. Really if I could help I would help anyone else, but I can’t accept anything for myself unless someone in Memphis knows of work I would be qualified for. Or heck, I’m a good sitter and animals tend to love me so keep me in mind. I have good references! I’d be happy to earn a little extra. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/13 "2010-08-26T21:50:20Z")
Beyond providing a way to pass along information from the needy to the giving, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest for the Powers That Be to not get officially involved. Too much potential for drama, or worse. I often feel a desire to help people out, despite the fact that my personal situation is one where I’m simply unable to do so. But I also inevitably get a twinge of…not suspicion, exactly…cautiousness? when it comes to people I only know online. If I were able to do so, I’d probably err on the side of being too trusting, though. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/14 "2010-08-26T22:02:54Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I’m torn. I don’t have a lot and sometimes the few bucks I can spare seem ------ well, not much considering the problem or need. When I have responded its been because a mod backed up that the need was real and because it was a poster I enjoy reading. A central “kitty” sounds nice but administration could be a real nightmare - but its something I would throw a few dollars (or help IRL) if I could. I like it, but I like more knowing that if I privately help with a few dollars, it will help in aggregate- I don’t want to know that I helped someone with their ‘benefit for charity’ but I would help the same person with other ‘real’ issues (to reference something recent). > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I don’t like this idea at all. Doper help is supposed to be an underground thing. Once word gets out that we have some charity floating around, the Guest-Aug 2010 crowd will start pouring in with out-turned pockets. > > What’s the main problem with how we do it now? I don’t think there is one. Sure, a clearinghouse has its benefits, but it comes with more drawbacks than it’s worth. I can’t believe I am agreeing with **Chessic Sense** , but yes! > [@Smeghead](#): > > Beyond providing a way to pass along information from the needy to the giving, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest for the Powers That Be to not get officially involved. Too much potential for drama, or worse. > > I often feel a desire to help people out, despite the fact that my personal situation is one where I’m simply unable to do so. But I also inevitably get a twinge of…not suspicion, exactly…cautiousness? when it comes to people I only know online. If I were able to do so, I’d probably err on the side of being too trusting, though. And I also have only gotten involved here when it WAS a long-term poster, and the Mods posted a sticky to ‘validate’ it. I don’t think a general pool would work. Keep it desperate and keep it rare, as has been the case so far. Thanks for thinking about it though- I like to help when truly needed, and I am able, and I don’t like giving to blind charities- but I WON’T give to beggars, so I appreciate the opportunity, even when it is rare… ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/15 "2010-08-27T14:01:41Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I don’t like this idea at all. Doper help is supposed to be an underground thing. Once word gets out that we have some charity floating around, the Guest-Aug 2010 crowd will start pouring in with out-turned pockets. > > What’s the main problem with how we do it now? I don’t think there is one. Sure, a clearinghouse has its benefits, but it comes with more drawbacks than it’s worth. Totally agree, instead of the Dope being a place where the above average share opinions, experiences and ideas it will become a magnet for those with begging hands outstretched, some genuinlly needy, some not. This will inevitably drive away those who enjoy this place as a forum , rather then a hustling site eventually it could kill the Dope stone dead. At the moment we have people who post in with some really heartbreaking situations; but we also get those wallowing in self pity and even some that appear to be works of fiction. There are more then enough charities out there to help those who need it without starting yet another one. By all means point helpful Dopers and the needy towards them; but leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/16 "2010-08-27T14:10:32Z")
You know, on another message board we have a sticky with a lot of info on how to help _oneself_ - how to cook cheaply, how to examine appliances picked up at flea markets and yard sales for safety, where to find cheap but presentable clothes, how to garden, how to access food if you’re broke… maybe that might be a better thing to do? A sort of self-help thread for the downtrodden? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/17 "2010-08-27T14:16:23Z")
I saw it as a way people in different parts of the world, or with different circumstances, may be able to assist fellow members who are experiencing tougher times. We do it frequently with assisting with membership fees. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/18 "2010-08-27T15:16:15Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I’m torn. I don’t have a lot and sometimes the few bucks I can spare seem ------ well, not much considering the problem or need. A few bucks is an awful lot to somebody who doesn’t have _any_ bucks. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/19 "2010-08-27T16:20:06Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > There are more then enough charities out there to help those who need it without starting yet another one. > > By all means point helpful Dopers and the needy towards them; but leave it at that. Some of us have tried and there are no charities. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182/20 "2010-08-27T16:46:51Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > [@kopek](#): > > > > I’m torn. I don’t have a lot and sometimes the few bucks I can spare seem ------ well, not much considering the problem or need. > > A few bucks is an awful lot to somebody who doesn’t have _any_ bucks. I can do amazing things with as little as 2 bucks… Seriously, for those in need your spare change may be a substantial resource to them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-helping-other-dopers-in-bad-times/551182.md?page=2)