# Dopers, I need to apologize and change my ways.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969 "2003-10-28T03:26:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/1 "2003-10-28T03:26:58Z")
Hello Fellow Dopers. I have been looking back at my recent actions, and have thought pretty damn hard about myself and how I am towards other people. My behavior last month about the birthday card was unacceptable, and I apologize. I have made it difficult for a number of people, and I am deeply sorry for that. I let my emotions get the better of me that day. When I originally saw the envelope, I was surprised and appreciative. Then I opened the card, and the thing I noticed most of all was that **Akatsukami** hadn’t put my name on the inside of the card. I thought that was odd at the very least. I rashly posted the original birthday card thread and the identifying information without thinking through the consequences. After I posted the thread, I realized that his actions weren’t intentional. I apologize for the attack against his disability that I included. I was active in that thread until people really started disagreeing with me. By that time, I knew I had made a mistake. I couldn’t undo it, yet I couldn’t type out an apology just then… no matter how much I wanted to. (and I did) I called **Tibby** a degenerate because I was reacting to her calling me a bitch and a horrible friend. No, I wasn’t thinking about her sexual orientation first and foremost. I dashed that off on the spur of the moment. That was another mistake, and I realized that almost as soon as it had submitted. I have expressed anti-homosexual opinions in the past, but this wasn’t intended to be one of those times. I apologize for those hurtful and intolerant remarks, both the ones I made then and the ones I’ve made in the past. Instead of typing out an apology, I retreated for a couple of hours because I was feeling heartsick over what I did. Not the best strategy to use. When I went back to the computer, people were telling me that I’d been Pitted. I typed up a sincere apology and posted it. I stupidly and guiltily told **Akatsukami** about the thread later on, not out of a desire to hurt him. As I expected, he was upset over it. Later on, I offered both Akatsukami and Tiburon apologies by eamil. It was unintentional on my part to cause hurt, pain, upset, and changed opinions. But whatever my original intentions, I have tried to deal with what I did… and am learning from it, as well. I apologize to both **Akatsukami** and **Tiburon** here, and to the community here as a whole. What I did was thoroughly unacceptable, and I know that now. In conclusion, my actions were wrong and awful in some cases. So again, I fully apologise for what I have said. I just hope I can be forgiven. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/2 "2003-10-28T03:40:23Z")
That’s good enough for me. 🙂 You rock, **Flammy**. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/3 "2003-10-28T03:49:10Z")
I’m in awe of those who HAVEN’T posted something they regretted the next day. I find that the SDMB is somewhat like driving in your car - it’s very easy to flip the driver off who’s too close to your backside because we’re invisible to a certain extent. Peace, y’all. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/4 "2003-10-28T03:51:18Z")
You’ve taken one hell of a learning experience, and truly learned from it. You’ve faced up to what you did, and made honest amends. Well done, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/5 "2003-10-28T04:20:49Z")
Just don’t change too much, **Flammie**. We wouldn’t want to lose the girl we’ve come to know and love. Peace, Sistuh. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/6 "2003-10-28T04:28:03Z")
**Flammington** , I think you know that I find you to be a fine lady. If you annoy me (and verly mildly, may I add) sometimes, I want the person annoying me to be _you_, and the real you. I’m proud to be annoyed by you, and proud that you call me “friend”. You’re good people (as evidenced by your honest and brave OP). Don’t ever forget that. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/7 "2003-10-28T05:12:08Z")
Well, I was wrong. Extremely hard to find fault with that as an apology. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/8 "2003-10-28T05:36:44Z")
**Flamsterette** , kudos for facing up to the problem and having the guts to make an honest apology. All the best. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/9 "2003-10-28T05:59:57Z")
_applause_ ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/10 "2003-10-28T09:22:12Z")
**Shrug** No biggie, **Flam**. Stupid stuff happens… ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/11 "2003-10-28T09:28:02Z")
Just be gentle with yourself, **Flami** , my friend. You did good with this thread. Well done, well done indeed. Proud of you. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/12 "2003-10-28T12:23:23Z")
I, too, applaud you for this entry. May it be the first of many in your newly chosen style. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/13 "2003-10-28T12:26:16Z")
Well done, Flami. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/14 "2003-10-28T12:42:27Z")
Damn classy. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/15 "2003-10-28T12:45:56Z")
Kudos for choosing this forum in which to post this. Had you chosen another particular forum, undoubtedly the shrill babble of preening psychotics would have overwhemled your most heartfelt apology, marginalizing it. I don’t think that’s likely in here. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/16 "2003-10-28T12:58:10Z")
Now _that’s_ an apology. Nicely done, Flami. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/17 "2003-10-28T12:59:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Kudos for choosing this forum in which to post this. Had you chosen another particular forum, undoubtedly the shrill babble of preening psychotics would have overwhemled your most heartfelt apology, marginalizing it. I don’t think that’s likely in here. \*\* Yeah. Congratulations on posting to the correct forum. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/18 "2003-10-28T13:00:19Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** I’ve done a little juggling here—I combined the respone(s) from two of these threads and then deleted the remaining redundant OP. ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/19 "2003-10-28T13:39:20Z")
It takes a big person to apologize when they have offended others and I admire that you would do so. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/20 "2003-10-28T14:34:32Z")
Good for you, **Flami**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969.md?page=2)