# Dopers, I need to apologize and change my ways.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969 "2003-10-28T03:26:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/41 "2003-10-31T01:22:49Z")
Good job, Flammy. Kudos for realizing what you needed to do _and doing it_, always the hard part. I bet YOU feel better now as well, no? ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/42 "2003-10-31T01:56:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\ ***Uncle Beer** is right. I should not have said what I said. I said it in a moment of pique. My apologies to everyone, especially **Flamsterette** , who has a perfectly good apology thread going. \*\* So now I guess it would be appropriate for me to apologize for agreeing with you, and will do so. Sorry! **dantheman,** one flogging with a wet noodle for you, hon. 😉 **Flam** , not to worry, be happy. And the same to the rest of y’all. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/43 "2003-10-31T03:34:46Z")
It took me some time to sort through my personal feelings, and to realize how wrong I was in my actions. I knew I was wrong, but didn’t know how to make a fuller apology. Had to go through some thinking, as I said in my OP. Only then did I have the strength to really face up to my actions and the consequences thereof, and make an honest apology to everyone. That was a bad slip of my character, but I’m not going to excuse myself with that or anything else. There is no going back, even though I wish I could… all there is to do now is to apologize, move forward the best I can, and change. **John Carter of Mars** : I doubt you’ll lose me completely… my basic personality won’t make any 180-degree turnarounds. 😃 But there will be some minor (albeit important) changes. **TLD** : The real me went sharply south for a while there, and I sincerely regret it. I accept your apology for stirring the pot, also. Incidentally, what does the foreign bit in your sig mean? I assume the language is Maori / Hawaiian, but I could be wrong. **Astroboy14** : No doubt stupid stuff will continue to happen as well, but I _will_ keep something like this from happening again. **dantheman** : You know how I feel about the statement you made. 😉 But I accept your apology anyway… I know all too well about saying things in a moment of pique. **Snooooopy** : Sorry, I’m not into that kind of thing even if you are. 😉 **scott evil** : I think of you as my buddy from those days, too. 🙂 There is no excuse for the anti-gay remarks I’ve made in the past, and I regret them. That is not the way I feel about homosexuals at all. I remember those posts pretty well. Hope you don’t mind my posting in your threads again, especially not the one you’ve got planned for next week. **CrankyAsAnOldMan** : It was very difficult for me to compose my OP, and to come to the place where I realized I was horribly wrong. Humbling myself was equally difficult, and I remain so. **Krisfer the Cat** : I don’t know if I can teach you that, not being an inhabitant of your headspace. 😉 😃 **Weirddave** : Generally, facing up to what you’ve done wrong is never easy… and neither is actually doing something about it. This was a horrible mistake, and it took time to do both these things. Your bet would be correct, as well. **Blonde** : Someone told me that I “worried constantly” over this matter, but I thought I worried for good reason. Now I’m no longer as worried… if I can’t be happy over the events, I will change as a result of them. (and be happy that I have done so) F\_X ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/44 "2003-10-31T03:39:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blonde \* > \*\*So now I guess it would be appropriate for me to apologize for agreeing with you, and will do so. Sorry! **dantheman,** one flogging with a wet noodle for you, hon. 😉 > > **Flam** , not to worry, be happy. And the same to the rest of y’all. \*\* I want to clarify something here. My words, although poorly expressed in this particular thread, still hold true; therefore I don’t see anything wrong about agreeing with them. Addtionally - again, for clarification only - I am **not** referring to anything that has taken place offboard. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/45 "2003-10-31T03:55:25Z")
Gotcha. We’ll catch your backside, **dantheman**. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/46 "2003-10-31T12:35:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*Incidentally, what does the foreign bit in your sig mean? I assume the language is Maori / Hawaiian, but I could be wrong. > \*\* It’s a Maori saying **Ice Wolf** told me: “A stormy sea can be navigated”. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/47 "2003-11-01T03:16:35Z")
Thanks for the explanation… I _thought_ it was Maori, but wasn’t sure. 🙂 Seems fitting for this situation, too… then again, it seems that I can find applications for this situation in almost everything i read these days! Hahahaha… F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/48 "2003-11-01T03:39:23Z")
It’s actually more “Choppy waters can still be navigated”, according to a site I found. Yes, I thought as soon as I saw you asked that question, **Flami** , that the same proverb could apply to your situation. You’re doing well at the tiller, my friend. Keep up the good work. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/49 "2003-11-01T09:17:31Z")
Thanks, **Ice Wolf** … I might email you later on. I _will_ move forward through this… to use the metaphor my friends and I were discussing last week, my race is by no means over. Definitely still have a lot to give, receive, and learn. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/50 "2003-11-01T11:01:22Z")
Congratulations lady. I was once in a similar situation where I had to apologize to someone and I wasn’t sure how she’d take it. We became friends. Congratulations on your courage. CJ ---
**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/51 "2003-11-01T16:28:16Z")
Well done, Flamsterette! That was beautifully done. I can only hope that I would have the courage and grace that you’ve shown in the face of a difficult situation! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/52 "2003-11-01T21:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*… preening psychotics… \*\* You make it sound so _cheap_. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969/53 "2003-11-01T22:25:05Z")
**Siege** : I hope things will work out eventually and we’ll be friends again. If not, I’ll have had these lessons for applications to other situations with oth present and future friends. **Rhaeven** : I’m learning a lot about grace, forgiveness, humility, courage, adn numerous other things through this. The lessons may take time to to be learned and sink in, but I won’t forget them that easily… especially since it cost me at least one friendship. **Shodan** : Hmm, well… that could be true, or not. Guess it all depends on your perspective. F\_X [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-i-need-to-apologize-and-change-my-ways/209969.md?page=2)