# Dopers- let's save Avenue Q (or, the most tasteless CS thread you'll read today) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 28, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110 "2010-05-28T21:06:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/1 "2010-05-28T21:06:27Z")
With all due respects and sympathies to Gary Coleman, the show must go on and AVENUE Q may not want to proceed with Gary as a character. Who would you suggest? Bonus points to those who use song lyrics. My first suggestions: > [@](#): > > “I’m Tatum O’Neal who starred with Bogdanovitch > in Paper Moon with my daddy who’s a crazy son-of-a-bitch > An Oscar, drugs, John McEnroe were a bad trio which > made me an unemployed addict to smack > and I got arrested trying to buy crack > it sucks to be me… it sucks to be me…” OR > [@](#): > > “I’m McKenzie Phillips from ONE DAY AT A TIME > but coke and living largely left me without a dime > then I decided to play Mama to Papa John and I’m > now the queen of ex child star dysfunction > it sucks to be me…” OR > [@](#): > > My name is Willie Aames from EIGHT IS ENOUGH > Drugs and fame and wah wah wah it all turned out tough > til into a Bible Man spandex suit my manhood I stuffed > In the Bible Belt I was big > til they made me squeal like a pig… > it sucks to be me… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/2 "2010-05-28T21:31:42Z")
Or they could just start the next few showings with a retrospective of Jack Soo’s greatest moments. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/3 "2010-05-28T21:56:41Z")
Just have the actor perform the role with a halo over his head. And if someone points out, “Hey, I thought you were dead!”, he could respond–well, you know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/4 "2010-05-28T23:33:00Z")
I’m totally not trying to threadshit, because I do think this is a cool thread, but I just wanted to say that _Avenue Q_ has already released a statement saying they are going to keep Coleman as a character, but change some of the “inappropriate” lines. > **[Dotdash Meredith - America's Largest Digital & Print Publisher](https://www.dotdashmeredith.com)** > > Dotdash Meredith is America's largest digital and print publisher, with brands including PEOPLE, Better Homes & Gardens, Allrecipes, Investopedia, Verywell, and more! Learn about career opportunities, our leadership team, and how we can help you... ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/5 "2010-05-29T01:51:37Z")
I have to wonder what Gary Coleman thought of being a character in a Tony winning play while he wasn’t employed? I mean, if I were Gary Coleman, I’d be _pissed_ that I wasn’t playing “Gary Coleman” on Broadway 10 times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Xylo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@Xylo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xylo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/6 "2010-05-29T02:25:58Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I have to wonder what Gary Coleman thought of being a character in a Tony winning play According to Coleman’s wiki page, he wanted to sue the shit out of them. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/7 "2010-05-29T04:34:41Z")
> [@Xylo](#): > > According to Coleman’s wiki page, he wanted to sue the shit out of them. He couldn’t though because he’d sold the rights to portray him. Admittedly he sold them for very little because they had no idea how big the show was going to be- it was originally planned as a Comedy Central series- so he did get some money from it but not much. He said he had no interest in playing the role, which is too bad because it’s actually a good role (the character’s not just the butt of jokes but makes some good ones and is a cool guy). _Schadenfreude_ will have to be almost scrapped in interest of taste. ---
**Author:** ![CyclopticXander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@CyclopticXander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CyclopticXander)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/8 "2010-05-29T05:24:35Z")
I’d sure like to hear from someone who saw the show last night to find out exactly what was changed last minute. I knew I couldn’t be the only person who’s first thought after the news was about what Avenue Q would do. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/9 "2010-05-29T14:57:00Z")
I love the show, but honestly I think it could use some new life. What I’d really like to see is a spinoff–use the same characters, puppets, etc., and create a new show that’s a series of short vignettes that could be taken out and added back as time goes on to keep it fresh. It would be very much in keeping with the Sesame Street aesthetic. As for Gary, they probably need to do something a little different for a little while, but I don’t see why they couldn’t eventually go back to the current show as-is. It’s a very respectable character. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/10 "2010-05-29T15:08:40Z")
I’m beginning to wonder if Conrad Bain, Charlotte Rae, Mary Jo Catlett (who played Pearl), and Mary Ann Mobley (who replaced Dixie Carter after one season when the show jumped networks) are members of a Rosemary’s Baby like cult and the reason they’re all still alive is feeding off the young stars. Danny Cooksey (Sam- one of the most annoying characters ever) may want to return that tannis root necklace Charlotte gave him when he learned his wife was expecting. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/11 "2010-05-29T19:00:40Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > He couldn’t though because he’d sold the rights to portray him. Admittedly he sold them for very little because they had no idea how big the show was going to be- it was originally planned as a Comedy Central series- so he did get some money from it but not much. He said he had no interest in playing the role, which is too bad because it’s actually a good role (the character’s not just the butt of jokes but makes some good ones and is a cool guy). That would be some very useful information to add to the Wikipedia page. Do you have a cite? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/12 "2010-05-29T19:31:11Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > That would be some very useful information to add to the Wikipedia page. Do you have a cite? It’s from an AVENUE Q book (the one with the furry cover). Per the book, the project was originally supposed to be a very low budget TV show that was to be a parody of _Sesame Street_ (think something along the lines of _Crank Yankers_ in budget probably) and they actually negotiated to have Gary Coleman play (a version of) himself- bitter former child star working with puppets and giving kids nasty pointers- and they flew him out to NYC and put him up in a nice hotel to discuss the deals. When he got there he went into a mood and refused to even meet with them. They basically wasted their money when he blew them off; no idea if they tried to get reimbursement but as they say- blood from a turnip et al- so they negotiated instead with his agent. _That_ is why he couldn’t get a lawyer to take his case though. IANAL but I know that even public figures have some rights to their image and name being used; you can bet that if they’d used a character based on Burt Reynolds or Michael Jackson (or even Tito Jackson) they’d have been sued. Even Ike Turner got paid for _What’s Love Got To Do With It?_ ($40,000 which he wouldn’t have taken except that he desperately needed it at the time) because even though it was based on Tina’s autobiography it was figured that it would cost them more than that in legal bills if he sued, besides which they changed a lot about the story (he really was abusive but their relationship was completely changed- he wasn’t the father of her first child for instance and they upped the beginning of Ike & Tina’s sexual relationship several years- he also didn’t really come into her dressing room with a gun before her comeback). Had they not gotten Coleman’s permission you know he could have found a lawyer willing to take the case on a percentage deal knowing that they’d probably get at least something in nuisance money. However, in yet another thing to be angry and bitter about, the rights were sold for probably a pittance (I don’t believe it gave the amount) for something that was expected to be a low budget cable TV show at best or an off-Broadway show but became a huge hit play that, ironically, portrayed Gary Coleman as far cooler and more likeable than he really was. I feel sorry for the guy, it’s impossible not to, but nothing I’ve read suggests he was likeable. Certainly he had more baggage than any reasonable god would have allowed but comes a point you just have to let that shit go. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/13 "2010-05-30T01:52:29Z")
> [@CyclopticXander](#): > > I’d sure like to hear from someone who saw the show last night to find out exactly what was changed last minute. I knew I couldn’t be the only person who’s first thought after the news was about what Avenue Q would do. My wife and I saw the national touring show here in Dallas last night. I can’t swear they didn’t change anything because it was my first time seeing the show, but as far as I know all they did was include a notice in the playbill expressing their condolences at his passing, dedicating last night’s show to his memory, and having the actor playing “Gary” deliver a very touching tribute to him after the curtain call. “It Sucks to be Me” and “Schadenfreude” were both in the show just like always. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/14 "2010-05-30T02:20:18Z")
By the way, to get this thread back on track, here’s my suggestion for a new character to replace “Gary Coleman” in _Avenue Q_ (the name is even pretty close!): \*_I’m Gary Numan - I was New Wave’s fav’rite son My hit song “Cars” went all the way to number one_ But my next album tanked and then I was done So now I’m here, fixing toilets on Avenue Q… (CAST) It sucks to be you!\*\* \*I know it only went to #9 here in the states, but it did hit #1 in the UK. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/15 "2010-05-30T15:44:40Z")
here’s another possibility from the trash heap of 80s pop music: \*\*I’m Andrew Ridgely, and I once was part of Wham! But then George Michael had to take our fans and scram I was reduced to eating cat food and Spam So George made it big, and I’m here on Avenue Q… (CAST) …It sucks to be you!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/16 "2010-05-30T15:47:49Z")
Jeez, how do I turn this thing off? \*\*My name is Tommy Chong – I used to hang with Cheech But we split up and now my dreams are out of reach Maybe I ought to make a sex tape like Screech? 'Til then I’m getting baked here on Avenue Q… (Cast) …It sucks to be you!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/17 "2010-05-30T16:30:13Z")
They’d also have to change the racism song, as he has a big part in that one (that revolves around him being black). They could just create a new parody character based off him (Larry Moleman?) that’s similar enough that they could use most of the same lines. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/18 "2010-05-30T17:00:44Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > With all due respects and sympathies to Gary Coleman, the show must go on and AVENUE Q may not want to proceed with Gary as a character. Who would you suggest? I got it – Dennis Hopper. What? ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/19 "2010-06-01T11:24:30Z")
\*Schaudenfreude \*keeps popping into my head when I think about Gary Coleman’s death… I know, I’m a bad person… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110/20 "2010-06-01T13:13:09Z")
[NY Times](http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/29/avenue-q-deals-with-death-of-gary-coleman/) article on this very subject [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-lets-save-avenue-q-or-the-most-tasteless-cs-thread-youll-read-today/541110.md?page=2)