# Dopers please let us have your humor... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576 "2013-05-05T22:12:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/1 "2013-05-05T22:12:48Z")
What else did Og do…? http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y502/Shailesh\_Sharma/2013-05-05121836\_zps2d65d5e8.jpg"][http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y502/Shailesh\_Sharma/2013-05-05121836\_zps2d65d5e8.jpg](http://s1278.photobucket.com/user/Shailesh_Sharma/media/2013-05-05121836_zps2d65d5e8.jpg.html) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/2 "2013-05-05T22:34:55Z")
As a Presbyterian myself, I apologize for those of my brethren who try to be clever on posted signs and fail. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/3 "2013-05-05T22:41:48Z")
I can’t read it. It’s too small. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/4 "2013-05-05T22:51:24Z")
The sign reads: “The Birds Are Back. The Grass Is Green. God Did It Again.” ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/5 "2013-05-05T22:55:52Z")
My grass is still under snow in most places… but the birds are back, that I know from the copious amounts of poop all over my newly-washed car. I suppose it is rather a miracle that the birds know where the only washed car in the neighborhood is… within minutes… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/6 "2013-05-05T22:59:11Z")
The Lord works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/7 "2013-05-05T23:32:14Z")
Did he make the battery die in my car last week? Start the car at work, drive 30km home, pull over to get some petrol (turn car off while filling) then can’t restart the car again. Had to get roadside assist and a new battery. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/8 "2013-05-06T00:50:47Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > Did he make the battery die in my car last week? > > Start the car at work, drive 30km home, pull over to get some petrol (turn car off while filling) then can’t restart the car again. > > Had to get roadside assist and a new battery. Was that on Thursday? I had almost exactly the same thing happen, except my car wouldn’t start when I went to leave work. Maybe it was Him, maybe just the fact my battery was two years past it’s stated expiration date.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/9 "2013-05-06T01:02:49Z")
Who killed off the birds and yellowed the grass in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/10 "2013-05-06T03:05:32Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Who killed off the birds and yellowed the grass in the first place? I am loving these. Please keep them coming… ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/11 "2013-05-06T03:11:56Z")
I’m mostly sanguine, although I am concerned that I have a touch of black bile. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/12 "2013-05-06T04:06:52Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Who killed off the birds and yellowed the grass in the first place? Whoever it is, he must down in the southern hemisphere at this very moment! Let’s get 'im! ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/13 "2013-05-06T04:12:58Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > Did he make the battery die in my car last week? > > Start the car at work, drive 30km home, pull over to get some petrol (turn car off while filling) then can’t restart the car again. > > Had to get roadside assist and a new battery. Equivalent exchange, God needs to drain a battery or two to bring birds and grass back. This is why, as we all know, everything was dead and lifeless before batteries were invented. God also uses the energy in smoke detector batteries to start fires when he’s drunk. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/14 "2013-05-06T04:19:19Z")
Who did god? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/15 "2013-05-06T05:13:09Z")
A photo like that deserves a dump in the photobucket. God made me say that. Must be spring! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shadowofneo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/54ee81/32.png) [@shadowofneo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shadowofneo)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/16 "2013-05-06T05:20:39Z")
What do you get when you line up 75 blondes and stand them ear to ear in a circle? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/17 "2013-05-06T05:47:55Z")
I thought God was still down in Miami Beach with all the other ancient snowbirds . . . until the threat of frost is over, up here. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/18 "2013-05-06T12:44:09Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Who did god? Mary. Oh, you mean **this** time around…? No idea. I suppose we’ll find out in 9 months. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/19 "2013-05-06T13:09:56Z")
> [@guanolad](#): > > who killed off the birds and yellowed the grass in the first place? Satan??? ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576/20 "2013-05-06T13:20:30Z")
so I read I could buy grass here… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-please-let-us-have-your-humor/657576.md?page=2)