# Dopers who didn't have to deal with the marriage name problem **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416 "2007-12-27T22:31:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/1 "2007-12-27T22:31:21Z")
I see there’s another thread about hyphenated names in which a lot of people are posting their experiences regarding what decisions they made about their family names after marriage. I didn’t face that problem. My wife and I had the same family name already! So, who are the Dopers who were fortunate enough to marry someone with the same family name and didn’t have to deal with this minefield of modern society? Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/2 "2007-12-27T22:36:05Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] I didn’t face that problem. My wife and I had the same family name already! [/QUOTE] Brother/sister or coincidence? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/3 "2007-12-27T22:37:57Z")
Ha! (It is, of course, illegal in all states of the United States for a brother and sister to marry.) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/4 "2007-12-27T22:40:45Z")
Well, not a doper, but my great aunt married the same last name. They were, in fact, cousins. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/5 "2007-12-27T22:43:32Z")
Is it a very common name? I cannot think of a single acquaintance who shares your distinction. Were there any negative repercussions? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/6 "2007-12-27T22:44:16Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] Ha! (It is, of course, illegal in all states of the United States for a brother and sister to marry.) [/QUOTE] Hmm, interesting way to dodge the question there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/7 "2007-12-27T22:48:18Z")
Well, it could happen. I went to school with a girl that had the same last name as me, but was not related. Well, she was related, but we did the math and I think she was my 22nd cousin. Good thing we didn’t marry - she was prety cool in high school, but she’s looked like a pretty dedicated meth head last time I saw her. I do have a friend who married a woman with the same first name as him. Different spelling, but same pronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/8 "2007-12-27T22:49:12Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Is it a very common name? [/quote] It is not common in the United States. It is not common in the world at large. But as it happens, we are Indian and of the same ethnic group and the same caste and there are less than a dozen common family names in our caste group, so it’s not unusual for this situation to arise. > [@](#): > > Were there any negative repercussions? Negative repercussions? I can’t even imagine what kinds of negative repercussions would be possible. What kinds of negative repercussions did you have in mind? I imagine in places like China and Korea, where a lot of people share a small set of family names, it’s quite common. [QUOTE=Antinor01] Hmm, interesting way to dodge the question there. 😃 [/QUOTE] 😃 (Okay, okay, just to relieve your concern: No, she’s not my sister. We have no known blood relationship.) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/9 "2007-12-27T22:52:14Z")
Nope. But I had no problem taking his last name, and it wasn’t out of any sexism issues. My maiden name is a very common man’s first name, so my files, prescriptions, etc. were always filed incorrectly everywhere I went. Imagine I was “Susan John” and you’ll see the problem. No one knew if I was Susan John or Susan, John or John, Susan. In my unscientific study, I found that 98% of the time, people would make the masculine assumption, and I’d get filed under last name “Susan”, even though it doesn’t sound remotely like a last name! Husband’s (and now my) last name is very stately and properly British last-name-sounding, so I’m quite happy with it. I did give my son my maiden name as his middle name so it’s not exactly the end of the line, but since it doesn’t sound like a last name, I don’t think he’s really noticed. I don’t expect him to perpetuate it. I once briefly dated a guy with the same last name as me, and in fact shared my first and middle names with his sister. That was creepy, and actually part of the reason we didn’t last. Seriously. (Yes, I was young and shallow, but he was not so amazing as to overcome the ick factor.) ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/10 "2007-12-27T22:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] Negative repercussions? I can’t even imagine what kinds of negative repercussions would be possible. What kinds of negative repercussions did you have in mind? [/QUOTE] Well, most newlyweds have to go through name changes with the DMV, and for taxes and the like. I just wondered if any entities questioned your situation. And I hope you realize the brother/sister question was in jest. I figured _someone_ would ask and it might as well be me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/11 "2007-12-27T22:59:17Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Well, most newlyweds have to go through name changes with the DMV, and for taxes and the like. I just wondered if any entities questioned your situation. [/QUOTE] How could they? They were never faced with any change of any kind. All they ever saw was a married couple with the same family name. Who would think to ask any questions? ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/12 "2007-12-27T23:03:40Z")
My great-aunt married a man with the same last name. They were not related in any way. But then, last name in question is “Jones”. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/13 "2007-12-27T23:08:46Z")
I didn’t have to deal with the name change problem, but that’s because the Québec government has made the choice for me! [http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/publications/generale/maria-a.htm](http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/publications/generale/maria-a.htm) > [@](#): > > Spouses’ names > > Both spouses keep their birth names after marriage and continue to exercise their civil rights under that name, i.e. they must use their birth name in contracts, on credit cards, on their driver’s licence, etc. However, women are free however to assume their husband’s name socially. Women married before April 2, 1981 who already use their husband’s last name to exercise their civil rights may continue to do so. Taking his name wasn’t even an option for me - although there is that “socially” allowance, that basically amounts to using his name as a nickname, and that’s just a pain in the butt to get people to do! ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/14 "2007-12-27T23:24:34Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] I didn’t have to deal with the name change problem, but that’s because the Québec government has made the choice for me! [http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/publications/generale/maria-a.htm](http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/publications/generale/maria-a.htm) Taking his name wasn’t even an option for me - although there is that “socially” allowance, that basically amounts to using his name as a nickname, and that’s just a pain in the butt to get people to do! [/QUOTE] It really says “however, women are free however…”? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/15 "2007-12-27T23:43:18Z")
Patti Smith married Fred “Sonic” Smith. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/16 "2007-12-27T23:49:55Z")
A nice girl in my high school graduating class married her high school sweetheart who was one year older. They both had the last name “May”. Our town and school were tiny but there are two distinct “May” lineages so there were no issues. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/17 "2007-12-27T23:59:17Z")
there is the famous roosevelt wife and husband duo. of course they pronounced it differently… i know of quite a few jensen/jensen marriages. sometimes there will be pronounciation differences in english speaking countries. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/18 "2007-12-28T00:04:37Z")
Not exactly what was asked, but my wife had the same maiden name as my great grandmother. It’s fairly uncommon, too. ---
**Author:** ![Galwegian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galwegian/32/3426_2.png) [@Galwegian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Galwegian)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/19 "2007-12-28T00:20:29Z")
Yes, my wife and I have the same birth surname. And no, we’re not related. I can’t think of any possible negative repercussions, and we’ve been married nine years now. I imagine that it’s a fairly common situation; after all, there are some surnames out there that millions of people share. It’s probably related to geography as well: there are plenty of Murphys in Ireland, McDonalds in Scotland, and Smiths in England. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/20 "2007-12-28T00:29:42Z")
I don’t fit the OP, but I also didn’t have a problem since I got to change from a German surname that seems to be completely unpronounceable to 98% of Americans to “Carter.” I’ve told my husband that even if we divorce I’m keeping Carter. Forever. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416.md?page=2)