# Dopers who didn't have to deal with the marriage name problem **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416 "2007-12-27T22:31:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/21 "2007-12-28T01:07:07Z")
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze] It really says “however, women are free however…”? [/QUOTE] Yep. Bothers me too. Pretty much every Québec government website has English versions that look like they were written by BabelFish. In Quebec, the most common surname is Tremblay, though I’m having trouble coming up with numbers for how prevalent it is. Some towns, particularly in the Saguenay area, are mostly populated with people of that name. One friend of mine told me that you grow up learning your family history back at least 3-4 generations, so that when you finally start talking to that cute boy/girl you can quickly determine whether or not you are related and if you should even consider dating them! What would we do without Wikipedia? > **[Lists of most common surnames](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_common_surnames#Quebec)** > > Lists of the most common surnames by continent: 1.13% of Québecois are Tremblays… seems it should be more 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Solfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Solfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solfy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/22 "2007-12-28T02:12:49Z")
I think it would be even better to hyphenate your name when the last names are the same. “Oh, my maiden name is “Smith” and my fiance’s name is “Smith,” but I will be Mary Smith-Smith once we’re married.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/23 "2007-12-28T02:23:25Z")
I know a couple who both had the same surname before they married (they’re not dopers though). The odd thing is that they do really look a great deal like brother and sister. I know they’re not (as I have met both sets of parents and they do resemble those even more). ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/24 "2007-12-28T02:35:17Z")
We didn’t have to deal with the married name problem, my wife couldn’t wait to get rid of her maiden name. It’s a mouthful and doesn’t really rattle off the tongue very nicely. heh! ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/25 "2007-12-28T03:54:54Z")
[QUOTE=jsgoddess] I don’t fit the OP, but I also didn’t have a problem since I got to change from a German surname that seems to be completely unpronounceable to 98% of Americans to “Carter.” I’ve told my husband that even if we divorce I’m keeping Carter. Forever. [/QUOTE] Ha ha…maybe we ARE related (see the “hyphenated names thread”). My maiden name is also German and unpronounceable, not to mention extremely uncommon. I went from that to a married name that is extremely common and easy to spell and pronounce. I only hesitated for about 5 minutes before deciding to change it. I still find myself spelling it for people on the phone reflexively, since I’ve had to spell my maiden name approximately a million times in my life. My husband laughs when he hears me do it, because he never spells it, and no one ever asks. The only downside is that it’s so common that it’s completely undistinctive. I remember once someone saw my maiden name on a business letter and called me personally, because he wanted to know if someone he knew with my last name was related to me (which they were…it was my uncle). No one would ever do that, now, except to jokingly ask if certain baseball players with my last name are related to me! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/26 "2007-12-28T04:02:34Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] The only downside is that it’s so common that it’s completely undistinctive. I remember once someone saw my maiden name on a business letter and called me personally, because he wanted to know if someone he knew with my last name was related to me (which they were…it was my uncle). No one would ever do that, now, except to jokingly ask if certain baseball players with my last name are related to me! [/QUOTE] No baseball players (that I know of) with my maiden name. An obscure Baroque composer and a couple of obscure politicans are the closest we get to fame. It’s probably good. I talk too much about my family to have someone who knows them read here! ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/27 "2007-12-28T04:09:38Z")
[QUOTE=jsgoddess] No baseball players (that I know of) with my maiden name. An obscure Baroque composer and a couple of obscure politicans are the closest we get to fame. It’s probably good. I talk too much about my family to have someone who knows them read here! [/QUOTE] The baseball players go with my married name…it’s Spanish, and there are several MLB players who share it. No one in the world has my maiden name. I have never met anyone with it who is not related to me directly. I sometimes wonder if I converse with family or friends here without knowing it. I’m with you, though…I don’t think I WANT to know it! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/28 "2007-12-28T04:12:49Z")
My mom told me a story of a girl she knew in high school…maybe the story is baloney, but I’ll tell it anyway. The girl’s last name was Moskowitz. She hated it. She couldn’t wait to get married and change it. Then she went to college. And back in the day, it was common for people to be seated alphabetically even in college. She found herself seated next to a guy named…Moskowitz. You can guess the rest of the story. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/29 "2007-12-28T05:54:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] Ha ha…maybe we ARE related (see the “hyphenated names thread”). My maiden name is also German and unpronounceable, not to mention extremely uncommon. I went from that to a married name that is extremely common and easy to spell and pronounce. I only hesitated for about 5 minutes before deciding to change it. I still find myself spelling it for people on the phone reflexively, since I’ve had to spell my maiden name approximately a million times in my life. My husband laughs when he hears me do it, because he never spells it, and no one ever asks. [/QUOTE] That’s funny; me too! My married name isn’t extremely common, but it’s simple and easy to spell and pronounce. People would take one look at my German maiden name and give up. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/30 "2007-12-28T07:15:00Z")
[QUOTE=Solfy] “Oh, my maiden name is “Smith” and my fiance’s name is “Smith,” but I will be Mary Smith-Smith once we’re married.” [/QUOTE] Not quite the same thing, but I’m reminded of Cyril Bassington-Bassington of Jeeves & Wooster fame. Mr. S’s grandmother and her identical twin sister married brothers whose family name was pronounced the same but spelled differently, as in Brown and Braun. So they each took a name of the form “Jane Braun Brown.” ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/31 "2007-12-28T08:37:34Z")
I did my family tree in fourth grade, and there was a couple who got married back in the Poland who had the same last name (also my lastname). I have no idea if they were related or not, I would presume they were distant cousins. We have an uncommon name, but zabasearch does turn up a few dozen, shall we say, Spicinsky’s, along with numerous other Spizunki’s and other alternate spellings. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/32 "2007-12-28T15:43:04Z")
Heh… will never have to deal with it if I marry in the jurisdiction I live in now… there is NO legal name change upon marriage. When _Maria A. Perez Lopez_ marries _Juan E. Fernandez Martinez_, their legal names stay that way (their kids will be named “\_\_\_\_\_ _Fernandez Perez_”; there’s a proposal being considered to allow them to chose the naming order) There is an accepted **optional, social** usage to stick the husband’s first surname in place of the wife’s second surname, as in"“_María A. Perez De Fernandez_” but there’s no legal mandate. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/33 "2007-12-28T16:16:27Z")
[QUOTE=Renee] That’s funny; me too! My married name isn’t extremely common, but it’s simple and easy to spell and pronounce. People would take one look at my German maiden name and give up. [/QUOTE] That IS funny. What is it with German names? The funny thing to me is that my maiden name is basically pronounced just how it is spelled, and it’s not even that long or complicated. People still can’t handle it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/34 "2007-12-28T16:39:37Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] That IS funny. What is it with German names? The funny thing to me is that my maiden name is basically pronounced just how it is spelled, and it’s not even that long or complicated. People still can’t handle it. [/QUOTE] My husband’s name is the same way. One syllable and people butcher it regularly. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/35 "2007-12-28T17:30:56Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] That IS funny. What is it with German names? The funny thing to me is that my maiden name is basically pronounced just how it is spelled, and it’s not even that long or complicated. People still can’t handle it. [/QUOTE] My married name is like that, and also German. My neighbour married a woman with the same name (first, middle, and last) as his sister. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/36 "2007-12-28T17:35:29Z")
My BIL and SIL had/have the same last name before getting married. Wang. Then again, so do a few million other people. I once dated a girl who had the same last name as I did. It was a fun day, and the family name thing didn’t bother me but we just didn’t click. She was however, hot as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/37 "2007-12-28T17:36:29Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] My married name is like that, and also German. My neighbour married a woman with the same name (first, middle, and last) as his sister. Weird. [/QUOTE] Why weird? Names are arbitrary anyway. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/38 "2007-12-28T19:28:09Z")
This happened to my paternal grandparents. Both were Murphy prior to being married. This created great confusion for the nuns at the private elementary school that my father attended for a year or two, when he was asked for his mother’s maiden name. They didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t believe that her maiden name was the same as her married name… until they called her at home. No apology, of course, was ever issued, but that’s par for the course from the ‘perfect Catholic nuns’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bea\_Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Bea\_Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bea_Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/39 "2007-12-28T19:52:42Z")
We didn’t face that problem because we both just have one name. I’m Cher and he’s Bono. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416/40 "2007-12-28T20:18:41Z")
[QUOTE=Madd Maxx] My BIL and SIL had/have the same last name before getting married. Wang. Then again, so do a few million other people. I once dated a girl who had the same last name as I did. It was a fun day, and the family name thing didn’t bother me but we just didn’t click. She was however, hot as hell. [/QUOTE] You met a hot chick with the last name “Maxx”? Was she in adult film? \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-didnt-have-to-deal-with-the-marriage-name-problem/431416.md?page=3)