# Dopers who lived together before marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368 "2011-06-05T04:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/1 "2011-06-05T04:18:49Z")
Did you carry/get carried over the threshhold of the ftont door? Or is this something people save for the wedding night? ---
**Author:** ![inkling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkling)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/2 "2011-06-05T04:49:44Z")
I lived with the woman who is now my wife for four years before we married. Neither of us has ever carried the other across any threshold. Further, I don’t know any married person who has told me they carried their spouse or were carried across any threshold. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/3 "2011-06-05T04:51:43Z")
> [@inkling](#): > > I lived with the woman who is now my wife for four years before we married. Neither of us has ever carried the other across any threshold. Further, I don’t know any married person who has told me they carried their spouse or were carried across any threshold. The wedding night tradition is dying out? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/4 "2011-06-05T04:57:34Z")
I asked this question here a few years ago, and lots of people said yes, they were. (Well, I asked it a little differently, minus the thing about living together.) For the record in this thread, I wasn’t. First of all it was my house, he might have felt strange carrying me over the threshold of my own house (bought before I was married, of course it later became his house). Second, when we got back from our honeymoon I don’t think he had the energy left. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/5 "2011-06-05T05:18:28Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > \*\*when we got back from our honeymoon I don’t think he had the energy left. \*\* So, you wore him out, Huh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/6 "2011-06-05T05:19:17Z")
We just got married last month, and no, no carrying over the threshold. We do need a bigger place though, and when we get one, I think I will insist. If he balks, I’ll just carry him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rekkah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rekkah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rekkah)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/7 "2011-06-05T10:52:33Z")
We lived together before we were married and I did get carried over the threshold when we got back from our honeymoon. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/8 "2011-06-05T13:16:55Z")
Female half of the couple here–no, no threshold carrying. I weighed too much, my husband has a bad back, and it was my house anyway. Man. That makes things sound kinda pathetic. My husband is handsome and strong and we’re now living in his house. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/9 "2011-06-05T13:53:50Z")
No threshhold carry for me, either on cohabitation or marriage. Not only am I too large to be carried comfortably, but I’ve got a stick in my butt about the origin(s) of the tradition. If stepping with my right foot over the threshhold first without tripping or letting evil spirits enter through the soles of my feet\* is too much for my little vaporous female brain to handle, I should be in a rubber room where I can drool on myself safely, not getting married and establishing a household. \*To summarize three of the many attributed origins of the practice…I need not mention the kidnapped bride theory, need I? ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/10 "2011-06-05T14:09:12Z")
He carried me into the hotel room on our wedding night while a couple of onlookers cheered. I thought it was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/11 "2011-06-05T14:45:01Z")
We didn’t do any carrying after our wedding but we are buying our first home together (close at the end of the month - fingers crossed) and I’ve teased him about carrying me through the door of our new home. I just kind of like the idea 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/12 "2011-06-05T15:07:09Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > The wedding night tradition is dying out? ☹ No, I think the wedding night tradition is very much alive and well, but we may not be talking about the same one… ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/13 "2011-06-05T15:14:10Z")
Oh, also–I got home a couple hours before he did, on our wedding day. I went home to triage wedding gifts and leftover food while he stayed at the hall helping to clean up. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/14 "2011-06-05T15:15:38Z")
If it actually means something significant to you, then go for it, insist if necessary. If it’s just another ritual and you’re going through the motions, why bother. Yeah I can see following the protocols for grannies and parents at the wedding, but when you’re alone with each other? Really? It would be an empty, meaningless gesture for me, that’s not how I’d want to start my married life, thanks anyway. But, fortunately we live in a time when we are neither bound by senseless protocol or ignorant superstition, so just do whatever floats your boat. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/15 "2011-06-05T15:19:16Z")
Nope, no carrying. I would have been really uncomfortable and afraid of whacking my head on the door frame or being dropped or something. ---
**Author:** ![GilaB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@GilaB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GilaB)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/16 "2011-06-05T16:30:37Z")
We _didn’t_ live together before marrying, and carrying across the threshold would never have occurred to either one of us. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/17 "2011-06-05T22:17:09Z")
Moved from MPSIMS to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/18 "2011-06-05T23:48:08Z")
I carried the pizza over the threshold. She was on her own. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/19 "2011-06-05T23:56:46Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I carried the pizza over the threshold. She was on her own. You’re such a romantic guy. _swoon_ ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368/20 "2011-06-06T00:25:58Z")
He did not. But, we drove to the there just after closing, and had to change into moving clothes. We ran around the house completely naked, just for fun… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-who-lived-together-before-marriage/584368.md?page=2)