I’ve only had acute anxiety once and I think it was directly related to the situation. I was working in retail and had to switch from day shift to overnight. A few years before this, I’d had treatment for clinical depression, but had never had panic attacks before. I figure it was a combination of a radical change in my body clock and the fact that I worked alone for the new shift. After about two weeks, I was standing at the counter one night and I started having horrible chest pains, which led to wondering if I was having a heart attack, which led to weeping uncontrollably, which led to knowing for certain that I would die right then and no one would find me until the morning.
After about 30 minutes of this, I was able to calm down enough to realize what was happening. Luckily, I was able to quit that job. I haven’t had any panic attacks since then, but I also haven’t tried an overnight shift again. It definitely taught me to never overestimate the value of a good night’s sleep when it comes to managing a chemical imbalance.
My symptoms are just like yours. A nagging feeling of unease which keeps on increasing until well here is 26 year old me dieing of a heart attack.
Luckily my office demands we undergo a medical yearly and that includes a stress test and an echo. Those were clear and helped calm me down a bit.
Thanks everybody, it is a relief to know I am not alone in this. You feel foolish, embarrassed and like your body and mind is betraying you. I hope every sufferer gets better.
It has also been a humbling experience, I used to be very judgmental about people who claimed that they were nervous or had nerves or a weak constitution or were panicky. I used to think “oh pull yourself together”. I was wrong.
I had my first panic attack when I was ten and I’m 41 now and have them regularly, along with generalized anxiety and several severe phobias. I’ve taken all sorts of drugs and gone through years of therapy. Zoloft was the only pill that eased me at all, and it helped me talk through a few of my more severe phobias in therapy. I’m no longer panicking every time I hear a plane. Only when they are flying low or sound especially loud. This is a major accomplishment since it was pretty debilitating to fear a plane crashing in to you every day of your life. I can also talk myself down faster after taking it and then getting off it after about two years.
Before, nonsensical anxiety attacks had been increasing. I started feeling panicked reading about history or astronomy. Something related to time that I can’t even explain. When I see those beautifully colored photos of galaxies and such I start feeling smaller and smaller and I get nervous . I don’t know why, but it sucks. Reading about history, one of my favorite pastimes, makes me think of all the people in history and I feel smaller and smaller and smaller and THAT makes me nervous. Killing. Anything related to killing (except eating meat, which I remain in DEEP DEEP denial about!) makes me nervous. I can’t kill a bug. I just can’t. I can swat mosquitoes away but I’d never kill one if I could avoid it. And that is just idiotic. I recognize that. But it doesn’t change the way my brain works.
My emotional state has seemed a lot more stable over the past couple months. I started the Atkins diet a few weeks before that. I don’t know if I have some food sensitivity that’s not being aggravated or the distraction of planning my day and meals and busying myself or because I’ve lost probably at least 25 lbs.
Whatever it is, I’m feeling really good. I mean, I’m not 100%. I still can’t deal with needles and getting to sleep is an ordeal. I have panic attacks in bed so I have to be exhausted before I even lay down. But I really am feeling better.
I’ve suffered a lifetime of lowish-level depression, with dips into black despair. About 10 years ago I suddenly developed severe anxiety attacks, which would not go away for a week. So I bit the bullet and went to see a doctor (GP), crying my head off, and he put me on Paxil. It didn’t ‘make me happy’, but it did blunt my emotions somewhat. Neither highs nor lows. I no longer wanted to jump off a bridge, but, for example, when someone was all happy and excited about something and they were telling me about it, I had to consciously make myself ‘act’ appropriately in response. The Paxil made me sleepy, and I gained weight. So I took lower and lower doses, for about 5 years, until I was tapering off completely. No bad reactions to withdrawal, it was so gradual. Maybe I should have kept taking it, or something else. I don’t think I’ll ever be ‘happy’, but I lead a low stress life and just shuffle through down the road, its what I’m used to…the only thing is the mornings. I wake up in panic mode because I think of bad things that could happen, might happen, will happen; what will I do in those cases? oh, all kinds of bad thoughts. Who will come to my funeral if I die? What if my husband has a stroke and can’t walk or talk? What if my daughter gets in a car crash, or is kidnapped? What if my mother falls down the stairs and no one knows it for a week?..Ridiculous! WHY does this happen???
I’ve been on Paxil since I was 11. Alas, I’m going to be taking it for the rest of my life. CBT hasn’t helped me. I’m at a good baseline, my attacks now only come with major life changes (new house, new job, etc.). Yes, my emotions are blunted. But I’ll take lower highs to make sure my lows aren’t devastatingly low. And I’m a sleepy tubby, but better that than skinny, awake, unable to hold a job and living in my parents’ basement.
I’m also on Seroquel, which is going good. I’ve accepted a life of medication, and don’t regret it. I’ve seen myself off it, and the crippling anxiety and emergency room visits were hell.
Panic attacks aren’t rational, that’s the worst part of it. People tell you to calm down and it’ll be all right. The logical part of me knows that, but it’s trapped behind a glass wall. The worst part was the panic attacks combined with depression. You’re too anxious to sit down or think of anything else, but too depressed to do anything but walk around and be stuck in your dark thoughts.
If thinking yourself out of it or following the usual ‘breathe deep’ stuff doesn’t work, it’s okay to be on the meds. There’s nothing bad about it. It’s like diabetes - some types can be controlled via diet and exercise, and others require insulin. There’s no shame in being the type that needs the medication.
I’m always at my lowest first thing in the morning. It really helps me to remember that - get out of bed, have some breakfast, get into my routine, and I usually start feeling normal in minutes.
But it isn’t because of anything you did, or anything your parents did. It’s not happening because you have some sort of character flaw or weakness. It wouldn’t go away if you would just “man up” or “pull yourself together”. Do not listen to anyone who tries to tell you any different, because they are ignorant.
That’s great, for you. I, OTOH, get irritable and depressed if I go on a low-carb diet. Diets can affect your mental state, for better or worse. This is something you’ll want to take into account if you do decide to go on a diet. If you start one, and your mental symptoms get dramatically worse, you might want to try a different one.
The worst attack I had. I was at a concert in general admission. I started getting that surreal out of body feeling, my vision started tunnelling, pain in my back. I looked back for an escape route, I was too far in, seeing that sea of eye balls looking back in my general direction freaked me out even more. Turned back trying to ride it out the band came on everything got louder. I tried to calm myself down. I started hyperventilating and feinted.
I was with my sister so she knew what was going on, she managed to hold up all 225.lbs of me and walk me out, sweet little thing.
I probably shouldn’t of smoked that wheel chair pot right before the concert started huh ?
I respectfully disagree with some who neglect the valuable qualities that can be afforded by use of anti-anxiety medications. I used to have crippling anxiety-attacks, for a period of roughly a year, and, yes, CBT techniques were helpful.
For those who prefer chemotherapy, and who are under proper care and have the ability to monitor their own intake and dependence on such tools, they have been known to be effective, at the very least, in a short term. I’m lucky in that I have an extremely competent and well-regarded internist with much experience, and I’m grateful I’ve had enough money saved to afford to see him for regular appointments.
But I think some who have had success with talk therapy (which with I’m no stranger, even including the times I invented my own practical methods of behavioral therapy, in consultation with major literature), are far too quick to discount the value of chemotherapy as a short-term tool for augmenting the cognitive restructuring which, admittedly, is a worthy goal.
No offense to some of the folks here, but some of the anti-meds types are starting to sound like anti-vaxxers to me. If a doctor determines that you should be on medication, you should probably be on medication. There is no way that CBT alone could’ve brought me to the level of mental wellness I enjoy today.
Before Prozac, I tolerated life. When anxiety attacks struck, I waited them out. I functioned, I held down a job, but beyond that life was a pointless struggle across an endless desert. It wasn’t until I began medication that I got to the edge of that desert and beyond it into the world.
Before Prozac, there used to always be what I called The Darkness screaming at the back of my mind. I haven’t heard a peep from The Darkness in years. Controlling my thoughts couldn’t stop it. All the mental discipline in the world couldn’t stop it. But meds did that.
My sex drive may not be as wild as everyone else’s appears to be. But I wasn’t fucking anyone anyway before I was taking the meds. So I’ve lost nothing on that score.
So don’t diss the meds. And don’t try to talk the afflicted out of using them. Regardless of what you’ve heard or read, medications of this sort are not prescribed lightly or irresponsibly.
I shudder to think what my life would’ve been like these past fifteen years without them.
When I took paxil it wound up with me fighting with bikers in a bar, then fighting the police. It was like PCP for me. Thankfully one of the cops had a bipolar brother and recognized what I was going through, so they didnt beat me, and got ahold of my Sister, who took me to the hospital.
I’d like to add that I’ve had things under control for about 6 years now, and lead a very happy life…so it can be done.
Oh my god this yes. Yes, there are times where medication is a crutch for a short-term problem. But like my diabetes metaphor above, some people cannot control their anxiety via CBT alone, they need medication. I will always, always err on the side of medication. I’d rather have someone with side effects such as loss of libido, weight gain and sleepiness over someone who cannot hold down a job or is considering suicide.
We need to get over this mindset that needing mental health medication is shameful. I had my first panic attacks at the age of 9. My mother just wanted to ignore the issue and hope I grew out of it. Luckily, I had enough self-confidence to be my own advocate and sought help from school. I have never been ashamed of my disorders. Just because there is no physical manifestation does not mean it isn’t as valid as any other condition.
People who say ‘suck it up, buttercup, this is the real world’ make me so angry. Let a medical professional make that diagnosis. You think mental health disorders are more prevalent these days? They aren’t. People just used to use alcohol and dangerous drugs to self-medicate. I see it so clearly in my father - he became an alcoholic in place of getting professional help for his depression. If I had been born decades earlier, I may have done the same thing.
From a period between 1999 and about 2006, I occasionally had panic attacks but at the time they scared the shit out of me because 1) I had no idea what was happening, and 2) they almost always happened while I was driving. To/from work. on the interstate. Then in late '09 I went through a rash of almost constant severe anxiety. got taken to the ER from work (that was embarrassing,) spent any number of nights not being able to sleep very well, and so on. eventually was able to ride it out, and they’ve subsided.
I’ve had issues with general anxiety my whole life. About 10 years ago I tried a plethora of medications for it; some worked great, but all had terrible side effects. Most side effects I could handle, but it always seemed like being tired/sluggish would result from the meds that worked well.
So, people on medication, please tell me there are meds you take that work and don’t cause you to feel like a zombie all day. I would really, really love to be anxiety free, but would never want to feel so tired again.
On another note, I started getting bad panic attacks recently (actual attacks versus just generalized anxiety) and traced it to my blood pressure medication. I switched meds and haven’t had an attack since. Phew! What a terrible feeling to be in a meeting and have my face flush and my heart feel like it was going to pound out of my chest!
Yes, thank God. I just tell my self to stop, dammit, give myself a nice soothing talking down. Darkest before the dawn. Once the sun comes up, I have my coffee, turn on TV, sit down with my laptop, all’s right with the world. It’s that awful feeling that disaster is all around me and someday it’s going to be my turn, so my brain goes hyper thinking of bad scenarios. So I’ll be prepared or something. Even when the whim-whams evaporate and I’m going through the day, I’m still hypervigilant and take great pains to make sure I check off my mental list so as to avoid utter chaos. Laundry not done? Didn’t go to the bank? Didn’t call the insurance company or buy ink cartridges? Oh, the horror! :rolleyes:
Same here; I was 26 or 27 when it first happened to me. Had no idea what was going on–just one day on a tram started feeling nauseous, went into a weird, dissociative state, and fainted. After that, I became somewhat agoraphobic and claustrophobic (something I never was before, by any stretch), and riding any sort of public transportation became difficult, especially if the vehicle was stopped in between stops (subways, in particular, taxed me.)
I only had a couple full-blown attacks after that, but it took me about four or five years to really shake it. The first year after this incident was particularly difficult. I wouldn’t allow myself to succumb to the anxiety and literally forced myself to go out about on my own business and live life as I normally did, and consequently felt on a constant verge of a panic attack (that is, until I got a beer and a shot of whiskey in me). While I’m not sure that was a bad thing, I’m not sure it was completely a good thing, either, as I created an adversarial situation of me vs. my anxiety, which I think somewhat added to the stress. Every time I went out, it was consciously framed not only as a night to hang out with my friends, but as a situation to confront my anxiety. I guess what freaked me out most was the thought that I wasn’t always in control–that the mind can, for whatever reason, just flip out on you. I always thought of myself as someone completely in control of themselves, and to just flip out, for no apparent reason, completely fucked with my worldview. I remember during this period a time when I was reading, and all of a sudden the thought came “what if these letters all of a sudden lose meaning for me? What if language just becomes gibberish one day?” All because I discovered the notion that the brain can just freak out one day.
I was prescribed Xanax, but I hated it (it made me mentally slow and I was afraid of getting addicted to it), so I stopped within a couple weeks of taking it. (For the record, I am not averse to medicine. It’s just the Xanax felt so potent to me.)
The good thing is, after speaking about it with my friends, I was surprised that I was not alone; people who I would never have guessed were prone to such attacks had experienced them. One of my friends even had the same “subway phobia” and avoided the subway for about two years of his life. I had no idea they were so common, and I hang out with sociable and outwardly relaxed people, not the type I would think of as “anxious”. This realization really helped to comfort and calm me down.
Now, it’s evident to me that I had a fairly mild case of it, all things considered, but I did find a couple of things that helped me out when I felt that pulse starting to elevate, the head starting to swim, and the pit of my belly starting to tingle. For me, sipping on a bottle of water helped calm me down, as well as breathing exercises. The latter being the most important. I just did the standard 4-7-8 breathing: Breathe in deeply to a count of 4 (first from the belly, then up to the chest). Hold for a count of 7. Exhale slowly for a count of 8. (I would do this with my tongue pressed against my alveolar ridge–where it is when you make a “d” sound.) For whatever reason, this actually worked pretty well for me. It would sometimes take a few minutes to calm back down, but it stopped the anxiety from spinning completely out of control.
There are. I’m on meds for anxiety, and I don’t feel like a zombie all day. Well, sometimes I do, but only if I don’t get enough sleep. That happened before I was on meds, too.
Suffered since 1996. There is only one medicine that I have found that works PERFECTLY: alcohol. But when it wears off, the anxiety is 100 times worse, so that’s a very bad choice. Too many people become alcoholics, lose jobs and families, etc. because they continue to self medicate because it works so “well”.
My situation was almost exactly like yours. I am also a trial attorney, love public speaking, never had a fear of being in front of a crowd… Then one day, at age 27, I start having symptoms of what appeared to be a heart attack. Two months of agony, and four trips to the emergency room later, and an ER doc finally said to me, “this may be related to anxiety.”
They gave me a xanax, and within 10 minutes, I felt better than I had in months. It was like this wave of relief.
I followed up with both the psychiatrist and the cardiologist (who also ordered an echo, stress test, etc…). Turns out, I do have a heart condition, which is well regulated by medication and can be fixed completely by ablation surgery (one day). I also began on a low dose of daily zoloft and clonopin, with a stash of xanax in my purse in case of emergencies. I had a lot of success with CBT, and found my Happy Gilmore “happy place,” to which I would run in my mind any time I felt symptoms arising.
Six years later, today, I am completely medication free!!! (I still keep xanax in my purse for just in case, but haven’t taken one in 2 1/2 years… they are probably expired come to think.) I still use my happy place thoughts if I am particularly stressed, dealing with a shitty client, about to make my closing argument, or even just to help myself go to sleep.
It is amazing to me to think that six years ago, there was a voice in the back of head telling me to end it, because I couldn’t handle the fear anymore. But it got better, sooo much better. You can get better to!
Mental illness is like any other illness, sometimes you can cope with lifestyle changes and sometimes you need medication. If you have diabetes and you are able to mitigate it with diet and exercise, well good for you. If you have to take insulin, well that’s fine too. There’s no reason to say one is better than the other, it’s whatever works best for that person in that situation.
(Full disclosure: daughter of a psychiatrist who put me on a course of Paxil when I really needed it for a few months in college. I was glad for the help then, but have been able to mitigate my own anxiety disorder without medication since.)