# Douchbags in AA – EVERYONE isn’t a drunk just because you are! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271 "2013-02-04T00:16:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/81 "2013-02-04T20:30:51Z")
Okay, so you have a problem with certain behaviors, and don’t care if they’re drunk or not. Because what you said (“I’m saying I have no problem with people drinking, so long as they don’t get drunk. Once that happens, I’m leaving”) is pretty silly. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/82 "2013-02-04T20:57:00Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Okay, so you have a problem with certain behaviors, and don’t care if they’re drunk or not. No, I don’t accept that. There’s no reason that any of us in this conversation have to be held to the medical or legal definition of the word “drunk.” As a social phenomenon, people are “drunk” when they start acting as if they’re drunk. And you know exactly what I’m talking about. > [@](#): > > Because what you said (“I’m saying I have no problem with people drinking, so long as they don’t get drunk. Once that happens, I’m leaving”) is pretty silly. It’s not silly at all. Or, rather, it’s only silly if you for some strange reason insist that “drunk” means something in this context that it obviously doesn’t mean. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/83 "2013-02-04T21:28:11Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > As a social phenomenon, people are “drunk” when they start acting as if they’re drunk. And you know exactly what I’m talking about. When I’m drunk I act perfectly sober. Virtually nobody but my wife can tell I’ve had too much and that’s only when she’s aware of how many drinks I’ve had. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/84 "2013-02-04T21:30:09Z")
Go home, Acsenray. You’re drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/85 "2013-02-04T21:53:43Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > When I’m drunk I act perfectly sober. Virtually nobody but my wife can tell I’ve had too much and that’s only when she’s aware of how many drinks I’ve had. Well, then if I enjoyed your company sober, then I’d also enjoy your company drunk. (Go ahead … that’s a perfectly good straight line.) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/86 "2013-02-04T22:01:25Z")
So then you… never mind. I’m taking your keys. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/87 "2013-02-04T22:34:36Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > My Al-Anon sponsor pointed something out to me a while back that really drove this point home. She said that AA teaches members how not to drink, and how to avoid alcohol. It doesn’t teach independence, emotional maturity, or how to change behavior. Instead, it teaches helplessness, extreme selfishness, and gaslights the hell out of its members because it teaches that sobriety is impossible without the group and that feelings, emotions, and relationships are not to be trusted. . This is a load of horseshit. Slee ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/88 "2013-02-04T23:08:47Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > This is a load of horseshit. > > Slee No, it isn’t. **MsRobyn** accurately describes how AA works, although neglected to mention the most important fact - it doesn’t actually work. The likelihood of staying off booze when going to AA is exactly the same as for people who do not go. So, AA is removing people’s control of their lives for absolutely no gain. Steve (13 months sober, and taking control of my life). ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/89 "2013-02-04T23:59:56Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > He should try being a diabetic on any of our “Here, have more sugar!” holidays. TOTALLY different !!! Diabetes is a disease, whereas… Ahh, yes. :dubious: Take a deep breath, O.P.'er. I’m not an alcoholic, I rarely drink. I respect and appreciate the day to day fight an addict endures to NOT surrender to the addiction. Let them preach at you. What the hell is it going to hurt you? Enjoy the beer at the Super Bowl Party- why not? I do when I party and am not driving. But a bit of tolerance here might be in order. These are people fighting for their lives, nothing less. I don’t pity them- pity is wasted. But I sure do respect the fight. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/90 "2013-02-05T00:39:02Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Did anyone suggest to the proselytizing alcoholic in the OP that attending a Super Bowl party is not the best strategy for avoiding booze? Maybe he doesn’t have any other friends he likes watching The Big Game[sub]Not yet a TM of the NFL, but they’re working on it[/sub] with yet. My club had a big party for members and their families and had weekly get-togethers for people who needed some non-drinkers to watch football with. > [@sleestak](#): > > This is a load of horseshit. No, it is an accurate portrayal of the AA program. I go to meetings to see my friends who helped me through a rough patch. The rest of it tends to the bullshitty end of the spectrum. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/91 "2013-02-05T00:57:35Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Why anybody who cannot eat desserts would want to go to Vienna is beyond me Museums, palaces, landmarks, art, history, etc. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/92 "2013-02-05T01:33:31Z")
You can disagree all you want with what I posted, but that’s my experience in almost 20 years of meetings in I forget how many states. YMMV, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/93 "2013-02-05T01:38:28Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Museums, palaces, landmarks, art, history, etc. :dubious: But can you get a nice pastry at those places? Sorry, but I was fat before and after I drank and have a one-track mind. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/94 "2013-02-05T02:36:06Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > When I’m drunk I act perfectly sober. Virtually nobody but my wife can tell I’ve had too much and that’s only when she’s aware of how many drinks I’ve had. That’s pretty much my MO also. If I’m at a party or bar no one will know that I’m drunk. If I get drunk at home I’ll usually just fall asleep on the couch watching TV. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/95 "2013-02-05T02:39:29Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > This is a load of horseshit. > > Slee Care to expand of this bit of thoughtfulness? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/96 "2013-02-05T03:00:46Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Care to expand of this bit of thoughtfulness? Don’t waste your time. Sleestak thinks that AA can do no wrong ever. Just do a search. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/97 "2013-02-05T03:50:40Z")
> [@drew870mitchell](#): > > While we’re at it: going to a building that’s about as clean as the inside of a park bathroom to pay 4x price for drinks and yell at your friends over a music selection that you’d never listen to on your own. I mean, it’s one of those “When in Rome” things, but who started this crap? > > e: What I’m saying is, drinking alone might mean you got a problem (warning: I don’t care enough to defend that statement), but drinking alone is more rational than 90% of bar trips. Yeah, that sounds like a terrible place. Fortunately I know a much better joint, One that meets health codes, has a great beer selection, really good food, friendly bartenders, convivial and interesting regulars, and decent music played at a reasonable volume. Also, I’ve met quite a few women there, which ain’t gonna happen at home. So let’s go there instead. I think the health inspectors are going to shut down your joint pretty soon anyway. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/98 "2013-02-05T04:03:15Z")
Does everybody know your name? And are they always glad you came? ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/99 "2013-02-05T08:37:40Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > No, it isn’t. **MsRobyn** accurately describes how AA works, although neglected to mention the most important fact - it doesn’t actually work. The likelihood of staying off booze when going to AA is exactly the same as for people who do not go. > > So, AA is removing people’s control of their lives for absolutely no gain. > > Steve (13 months sober, and taking control of my life). 100% correct. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/100 "2013-02-05T10:24:18Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > “Fucked up” is exactly what I dislike about alcohol. I don’t like being around people who are drinking because I don’t like the way it changes their personalities, or at least gives them license to do so. I have no problem when people drink just because they like it, but when they use it as a vehicle or an excuse to behave differently, that’s when I make my exit. But how else will I get my biannual fix of throwing up and passing out? > [@Blackberry](#): > > Well, everybody acts different drunk, so you’re saying you just don’t want to be around drunk people at all? (Which is reasonable…I don’t want to either if I’m sober.) Drunk people are hilarious when one is sober. Seriously, go to a party where everyone is sloshed, don’t touch a tipple. Instant hilarity. Though it does drive one to drink… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271.md?page=6)