# Douchbags in AA – EVERYONE isn’t a drunk just because you are! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271 "2013-02-04T00:16:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/101 "2013-02-05T11:39:21Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > So, AA is removing people’s control of their lives for absolutely no gain. > > Steve (13 months sober, and taking control of my life). Good on you for approaching a drinking problem in a rational manner and not giving into the woo. Now if only the woo wasn’t accepted by the majority of healthcare providers and society at large. It’s taking long than we thought, but we’ll get there. This thread gives me hope. Believing one is powerless over a behavior is not responsible and not a good way to take control of ones problem. Think. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/102 "2013-02-05T11:39:44Z")
Getting all drunk only to hold it all in to act like you’re sober is a waste of alcohol. I’m ashamed of you **MOL** , I thought you knew better. Excuse me while I indignantly go stick my dick in the mashed potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/103 "2013-02-05T11:56:23Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Good on you for approaching a drinking problem in a rational manner and not giving into the woo. Now if only the woo wasn’t accepted by the majority of healthcare providers and society at large. It’s taking long than we thought, but we’ll get there. This thread gives me hope. > > Believing one is powerless over a behavior is not responsible and not a good way to take control of ones problem. > > Think. The major reasons why AA is so popular with healthcare is because a) it’s free and widely available, and b) there are a lot of drug and alcohol counselors who are members, so there’s a lot of 12-stepping going on. That being said, if AA/NA/OA/whateverA is working for you, then that’s what you should do. But it’s not for everyone. Alcoholism/addiction/food issues/whatever are complex problems that can’t always be addressed in a self-help support group because there may be other, underlying issues that are best addressed privately with a non-12 step counselor. Unfortunately, many 12-step groups try to be all things to everyone, a philosophy some of their members buy into. Throw in projection (Everyone who drinks is an alcoholic!), reinforced self-deception (I’m not a wrinkled dickbag, I’m sober!), and refusal to accept responsibility for one’s actions and behavior (I can’t help myself because I’m powerless!) and you’ve got the makings of a serious hellhole. And that’s where MY issues come from. ---
**Author:** ![owlfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@owlfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlfan)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/104 "2013-02-05T12:37:25Z")
I have maybe one drink a year. I think the reason I have never been a drinker is that I have always been a control freak. I don’t like the idea of not being in control of myself or aware of what is going on around me. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/105 "2013-02-05T13:29:01Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Excuse me while I indignantly go stick my dick in the mashed potatoes. Thats a pretty weak start for rape month. But given nobody else has stepped up to the plate I guess I’ll take what I can get. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/106 "2013-02-05T15:34:14Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Excuse me while I indignantly go stick my dick in the mashed potatoes. But who will think of the starches?! ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/107 "2013-02-05T16:48:47Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Believing one is powerless over a behavior is not responsible and not a good way to take control of ones problem. > > Think. Hmm. My understanding of AA is that it asks alcoholics to accept that they are powerless over alcohol _once they take that first drink_. It’s our responsiblilty to use every tool that other sober people have taught us to keep from taking that first drink–call someone, go for a walk, read, pray, whatever. It’s what you do when you spent too many years unsuccessfully “taking control” of your problem and waking up after another unintended blackout. There are three parts to the serenity prayer and only one of them is accepting what you cannot change. ---
**Author:** ![Strassia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@Strassia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strassia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/108 "2013-02-05T17:47:11Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 😕 So how do you tell the difference between “addiction” and plain old “habit”? Is “several nights” some kind of cutoff period for the length of the addiction cycle, or can addiction also strike at intervals of, say, weeks or months or years? Is there a difference between “just can’t make it that long without a drink” and “never happened to go that long without a drink but wasn’t counting”? > > For example, since I turned eighteen I have never gone more than about a month or two without having a drink of beer or wine. Never sought to abstain, never sought to imbibe, but the return of the impulse to have another drink has never been delayed for more than that couple of months. (Except a couple of times when I was living in India for 8-10 months at a stretch and basically responding to **external** prohibitions, namely, conservative social norms about women not drinking alcohol—but I still would have **liked** a beer after a month or so!) > > So am I an alcoholic who just happens to have a very low consumption rate and a very long addiction cycle? Or am I a non-alcoholic who happens to drink periodically but is not addicted? If the former, is there anybody except lifelong teetotalers who does **not** count as an alcoholic to some extent? And doesn’t that make the term “alcoholic” basically meaningless in any useful sense? There is often a popular overlap between addiction physical dependence and addiction. You are neither (based on your description). Physical dependence is when your body goes through withdrawal and/or requires larger dosage to get the required effect. Many fully functional people are physically dependent on caffeine, for instance. If they stop taking it they get headaches, they need more coffee then they used to to feel “normal”. Alcohol dependence causes [worse things](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_withdrawal_syndrome), but still may not be an addiction. From [here](http://abcnews.go.com/Health/LivingWithPain/story?id=4052253): > [@](#): > > Addiction is more a behavioral disorder that may or may not also include physical dependence. It’s generally present when an individual continues to use substances despite negative consequences on their life, gives up important activities such as work, school, family or other relationships because of the substance use, uses a substance compulsively and is unable to stop once they’ve started, uses a substance for reasons other than those for which it was intended such as pain relief, or craves a substance even when they’re not in physical pain. There are people who have a glass of wine or beer with every meal and several after dinner but are otherwise fully functional that would be in sad shape if they had to stop drinking but lead perfectly happy lives. Others who have no physical withdrawal symptoms may have a compulsion to drink themselves into a blackout every night no matter what it does to the rest of their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/109 "2013-02-05T18:46:16Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Let them preach at you. What the hell is it going to hurt you? Enjoy the beer at the Super Bowl Party- why not? I do when I party and am not driving. Kinda hard to enjoy your beer when somebody’s sitting there telling you you’re an alcoholic while you’re drinking it, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/110 "2013-02-05T19:29:00Z")
not much different than a vegan calling you a baby killer while you eat an Egg McMuffin. I just laugh and say I love eating babies. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_tardiff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@jack\_tardiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_tardiff)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/111 "2013-02-05T20:19:32Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > not much different than a vegan calling you a baby killer while you eat an Egg McMuffin. I just laugh and say I love eating babies. Ew. Gross. Rape vegan beer culture. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/112 "2013-02-05T20:21:07Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Diabetics can eat desserts, same as anyone else. A “diabetic diet” nowadays is the same as a healthy diet for anyone - you can have a dessert just fine, just don’t have a dessert at the end of every meal. Eat your vegetables, have small portions, include lean proteins. The focus is on overall health, not just avoiding sugar. Athena, I swear I want to form a Type-1 diabetes club and elect you as my president. I hate having to explain to people why I’m eating sugar! “Aren’t you, like, a diabetic?” “Yes, thanks. And my blood sugar is low/I gave myself enough insulin to cover it/I’m going for a jog later and I don’t want to be low/why am I explaining all this to you?” As to the “I don’t drink and neither should you” folks – now that I’m pregnant and off the booze, I absolutely ADORE being sober around drunk people. I thought it would be really tough, but it’s kinda fun. Y’all get goofy when you’re drunk. But I am surprised at how many people refuse to take me up on an offer of being their designated driver. I haven’t had ANY drinks. You’ve had three. As long as someone is offering, why not avoid even the potential for a DUI or a wreck? (I swear, I’m not at all preachy about it, just matter of fact. But folks are all like, “Nah, I’m fine!” Certainly you are – but do you really want to even risk it if someone’s offering you a free ride?) ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/113 "2013-02-05T20:21:53Z")
Okay, rape month is starting to look a bit better now… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/114 "2013-02-05T21:25:57Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > not much different than a vegan calling you a baby killer while you eat an Egg McMuffin. I just laugh and say I love eating babies. “It’s not a baby yet. It’s just an egg. Though it’s a shame we can’t get caviar from Humans…” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/115 "2013-02-05T21:30:20Z")
> [@smaje1](#): > > Athena, I swear I want to form a Type-1 diabetes club and elect you as my president. Yay! Thanks! I always hesitate when I post this kind of stuff because I don’t want to hijack every thread, but, like you, I get so freakin’ frustrated when I see the old stereotypes being repeated. I believed a lot of that stuff because I was ignorant before diagnosis, and it sure the hell did nothing for my freak-out factor. I thought I’d never be able to eat anything good again, ever. So untrue! > [@](#): > > I hate having to explain to people why I’m eating sugar! “Aren’t you, like, a diabetic?” “Yes, thanks. And my blood sugar is low/I gave myself enough insulin to cover it/I’m going for a jog later and I don’t want to be low/why am I explaining all this to you?” You forgot “I just wanted a freakin’ piece of cake, what’s it to you?!?” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/116 "2013-02-05T22:20:45Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Getting all drunk only to hold it all in to act like you’re sober is a waste of alcohol. > > I’m ashamed of you **MOL** , I thought you knew better. > > Excuse me while I indignantly go stick my dick in the mashed potatoes. Ha! But seriously now, sometimes there is drunken tomfoolery, and then sometimes you just have some whiskey and go home. Nothing more interesting happens than bitching about work, which is what happens when we’re sober. But I know, the SDMB Drinking Experts have declared that when people get drunk – no matter what, no matter the person, no matter how much they’ve had to drink – they do all this cray cray shit, and so on. Threads like this always make me thirsty. I think it’s martini time! ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/117 "2013-02-06T20:26:22Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > This thread gives me hope. This thread is making me want a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/118 "2013-02-06T20:51:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Threads like this always make me thirsty. I think it’s martini time! Just got home from the bar - and yes, I’m also still working. We had a couple drinks with some friends. Want one? MOL, I think you and I may be sisters. I was adopted so I can’t be sure, but it’s possible. But I do so love you even if we’re not. 😃 > [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > This thread is making me want a drink. Want a beer? They are cold. The Cold Duck (YES people, some of us DO STILL DRINK Cold Duck) is in the freezer getting cold - after my next beer I’ll pop that - let me know if you’d like a glass. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/119 "2013-02-06T21:05:23Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Ha! But seriously now, sometimes there is drunken tomfoolery, and then sometimes you just have some whiskey and go home. Nothing more interesting happens than bitching about work, which is what happens when we’re sober. But I know, the SDMB Drinking Experts have declared that when people get drunk – no matter what, no matter the person, no matter how much they’ve had to drink – they do all this cray cray shit, and so on. > > Threads like this always make me thirsty. I think it’s martini time! In this thread anyway, they’re saying the opposite. If you don’t act drunk, then the SDMB Drinking Experts say you aren’t drunk, no matter how much you’ve had. In other words, yet another big fight over the definitions of words. Don’t you just love 'em? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271/120 "2013-02-06T21:07:47Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If you don’t act drunk, then the SDMB Drinking Experts say you aren’t drunk, no matter how much you’ve had. Really. Who said anything like this while posing as an expert on drinking? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchbags-in-aa-everyone-isn-t-a-drunk-just-because-you-are/649271.md?page=7)