# Douchebag songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 16, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241 "2010-01-16T22:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/61 "2010-01-21T15:19:44Z")
> [@Lethal\_Babydoll](#): > > \*\*“Baby, Don’t Get Hooked On Me” \*\*by Mac Davis > > He’s a sweet guy letting her know that “I’ll just use you and I’ll set you free.” > > And, “Don’t start clinging to me, girl, cause I can’t breathe.” Mac also gets bonus points for “Rock and Roll (I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life)” _I was so busy in the backroom Writing love songs to you While you were changing your direction And you never even knew That I was always just one step behind you."_ In other words _I wrote a lot of sludge that never made the charts So screw you rock n’ roll I’m really just a country boy but I can’t get any country hits either_ ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/62 "2010-01-21T15:21:37Z")
I used to be mean to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved. Man I was mean, but I’m changing my scene and I’m doing the best that I can. Really? Working on not beating your wife so much? Good job there, sport. ---
**Author:** ![Doughbag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Doughbag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doughbag)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/63 "2010-01-21T16:04:27Z")
… I just had to post here something… Check out JoBoxer’s [BoxerBeat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6KBrKzoUWw) at Top of the Pops or the video [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vncoh-yJ9nw) …best song ever… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/64 "2010-01-21T16:28:55Z")
[El Douche-o](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx64_N4AA04) ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/65 "2010-01-21T16:34:43Z")
My nomination: “Hello Again” by Lionel Richie. The [lyrics](http://www.songfacts.com/lyrics.php?findsong=2783) are bad enough: _Hello!? Is it me you’re looking for?? I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile._ This from a guy who’s probably never even talked to “his” lady: _Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven’t got a clue. But let me start by saying… I love you._ Yeah, right pal. You’re a complete non-entity to her, and yet you have the hubris - nay, the sheer _douchebaggery_ - to assume that she’s just as weirdly obsessed with you as you are with her? Please.:rolleyes: And then, the [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ILDFp5DGA) takes this to a whole new level of douchiness. For those of you unaware of this cinematic masterpiece, Mr. Richie portrays himself as a _teacher_ fawning over one of his students - a _blind_ one at that. Yee-gads. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/66 "2010-01-21T16:52:12Z")
There was that viddy some years back… believe it was self-made and promoted, the dude looked like a roadie for REO Speedwagon and the song was about how bitchen America was. Anyone remember? That was pretty douche-a-licious. ---
**Author:** ![Doughbag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Doughbag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doughbag)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/67 "2010-01-21T16:56:02Z")
German examples of db’s: _…have fun, just don’t forget to turn your brain off_ [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFJaRzv-beI) [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bFm3LCneyi8/hqdefault.jpg "Stefan Remmler - Keine Sterne in Athen") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFm3LCneyi8) [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uTb_9kveOY) [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGSelbZXarQ) ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/68 "2010-01-21T20:28:07Z")
I (and I assume everyone in the grunge thread) had forgotten about Bush until 90’s at Noon on the local radio played Glycerine today. Enjoyable enough to listen to as long as you pay no attention to the lyrics of anything Gavin Rossdale has ever sang. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/69 "2010-01-21T20:37:29Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > I (and I assume everyone in the grunge thread) had forgotten about Bush until 90’s at Noon on the local radio played Glycerine today. Enjoyable enough to listen to as long as you pay no attention to the lyrics of anything Gavin Rossdale has ever sang. That one and maybe _Machinehead_ from roughly the same era strike me as a bit douchy. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/70 "2010-01-21T20:42:02Z")
Okay, you asked for it. Bet you can’t watch the whole song. It’s that bad. “Apache” performed by a 70’s Danish person. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6X7NhS5VCYk/hqdefault.jpg "Apache cover version by funniest looking band ever!! wild") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X7NhS5VCYk) ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/71 "2010-01-21T21:40:58Z")
doughbag. all were weird and hilarious, but stefan raab is the d-bag winner. why was the announcer shrieking so? ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/72 "2010-01-21T23:50:35Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Okay, you asked for it. Bet you can’t watch the whole song. It’s that bad. > > “Apache” performed by a 70’s Danish person. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X7NhS5VCYk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X7NhS5VCYk) That’s…something, all right. I wouldn’t use the adjective “douchy” but to each his own:) ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/73 "2010-01-22T00:03:22Z")
98 Degrees’ “The Hardest Thing” is about a guy who cheated on his girlfriend with a girl who loves him and he loves in return, but he’s dumping her to go back to his girlfriend, even though he doesn’t love her, because “she deserves better.” Dude should just do his girlfriend a favor and leave her and take up with the girl he cheated on her with. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/74 "2010-01-22T03:22:07Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > That’s…something, all right. I wouldn’t use the adjective “douchy” but to each his own:) I agree, and should have said so. But I just felt like sharing. Besides, I can’t think of what adjective _would_ cover it. ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/75 "2010-01-22T04:07:36Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > [This is the douchebag-iest music video of all time.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA) It practically defines the term. If I were going to make a parody video making fun of douchebags, it would be just like this. That’s a damn good one. It reminded me of [this turd](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1dfEf1qOt4) ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/76 "2010-01-22T10:34:16Z")
Oh god, LFO - they really were pretty douchey. Prepare to have your douche-ometer [GO OFF THE FUCKING SCALE MAN](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk)! ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/77 "2010-01-22T18:50:30Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > And just in case you haven’t had enough… > > [BOOM!!!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYHA_7vxrgc) You’re crazy, that video is awesome! ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/78 "2010-01-22T21:38:23Z")
> [@PetW](#): > > That’s a damn good one. It reminded me of [this turd](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1dfEf1qOt4) Ah, I came in to post that one. > [@](#): > > Summertime girls are the kind I like > I stole your honey like I stole your bike Awesome. Although, at the time this video was new, I was recovering from wisdom teeth removal, and painkillers have a way of making douchy songs palatable. ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/79 "2010-01-23T15:51:51Z")
a) What’s that crap song by Uncle Cracker? The one saying it’s ok to cheat as long as nobody knows? C’mon! b) Also, that song by Heart really, really, really makes me barf. “All I want to do is make love to you.” More specifically, it basically says I just want a kid - no father, no husband, no ties, no obligations… ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241/80 "2010-01-23T19:32:59Z")
My two nominations: 1. Jermaine Stewart’s “We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time” (which went against every pubescent urge I had in my youth.) 2. Deep Blue Something’s "“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” (if “kinda” liking a movie from days gone by is the only common ground one can find for potential reconciliation of a fledgling relationship, one is doomed) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/douchebag-songs/525241.md?page=5)