# down n dirty oral sex ranting **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 1, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810 "2001-10-01T19:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/41 "2001-10-01T22:57:27Z")
Mmmm… oral sex… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/42 "2001-10-01T22:58:18Z")
One of my best friends received the only blow-job he’s ever likely to get from his wife on his honeymoon. Poor guy. I’ve always wondered about all that, you know. My ex-fiancée used to mug me while I was making dinner and give me head in front of the stove. Another girlfriend used to wake me up in the middle of the night by easing her way down there and taking advantage of me. I have always enjoyed going down on the women I’ve been intimate with, though there were one or two that would “rather just have sex” than do or receive anything oral, which lead me to believe one of two things: 1) they’d had _really_ bad partners before, or 2) they just didn’t like oral for whatever reason. Either way, it seemed strange that they were adverse to that particular part of sex. The whole “after we get married, things will be different” thing just irritates the piss out of me. What’s the point, really? _Oh, I’ll only do this thing that I know you like until we’re married, then you can’t have it anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it_, or something? I just don’t get it. At least my friend knew his future wife would never give him head, but for some woman to determine that she doesn’t have to do something anymore just because she’ll be married is ridiculous. She never had to do it in the first place, but if she is only doing it because she thinks it’ll keep her man, then she might have slightly bigger issues to worry about than the taste of a dick in her mouth. It’s called manipulation and deceit. This isn’t about whether a woman _should or shouldn’t_ perform oral sex, it’s about the idea that some women might think that they should only do the “unpleasant” or “dirty” things until they are married, then they won’t have to anymore. That, to land a husband, they have to be willing to do things, but once they’ve got themselves one, they’re free and clear. They could just as easily say _I’m never going to have to wash another dish or cook another meal once I’m married_\* but that would be something that their husband could talk to others about openly and complain. In public, it’s easier to say “She used to love to cook, but now she never even lifts a ladle!” than “She used to tie me up and suck the hair off my nuts, now she won’t even get undressed in the same room as me!” I’m losing coherency (thank you prescription drugs) but I’ll be back because this, this bait-and-switch, is something that really burns me up. [sub]\*: not that I’m saying women belong in the kitchen, in fact, I’d be more likely to be the kitchen-clown in my future marriage, I’m just making a point.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/43 "2001-10-01T22:59:50Z")
Mmmm… oral sex from **matt\_mcl** … Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/44 "2001-10-01T23:02:34Z")
I was in a bar with a friend, and he told me he knew a girl who would give us a blowjob for ten bucks. I said, “Hell, I’m married. I can get one for nothing.” So we went to my place. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/45 "2001-10-01T23:26:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > > “Well, I really like giving blowjobs. I think they’re fun, they get results, and they’re pleasing to the hubby. Besides, I like him to go down on me, so it’s a trade off.” > > … > Now listen ladies. I’ve already exclaimed that even though I am one of you, I don’t understand you. I don’t get your act at all. How in the world can you expect someone to perform intimate acts on your hooha when you think their peen is ‘totally gross’? And how do you think it makes your SO feel when you say “eww…I don’t want that in my mouth” > > And why are we trying to convince a new bride that she ‘doesn’t have to give head anymore’? As if blowjobs are akin to felting cloth or something? > > And thirdly, why are you going around saying ‘no women like to give head’?!?!?! > > … > > SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, Miss Uptight n Squeamish. At the risk of sounding slutty, if not out of control: I love to suck dick. \*\* Preach it sister!! ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/46 "2001-10-01T23:30:18Z")
**Zette** , wasn’t it you who had a thread a while back about “Bonus Blowjob Sunday”? I was talking with a friend of mine one time, a married man who was bemoaning his lack of a sex life, and I was telling him about her strategy, which was IIRC (and correct me if I’m wrong) that she made a list of things she wanted done, and if her husband got any of those things done, he got a blowjob on Sunday, and consequently, the list was getting awfully short. I was saying to my friend that too many women fail to understand the power of the blowjob. I realized at some point that when I’m down there humming away, I can say “Hey, give me your car keys” and pretty much I’m gonna get what I want. Not that I would actually do that, but it’s that most men like head _that much_. To give somebody that kind of pleasure turns me on as well. And hell, as far as I’m concerned, sex is all good. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/47 "2001-10-01T23:39:58Z")
[carrying Official Moderator Hose] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Mmmm… oral sex from **matt\_mcl** … > > Esprix \*\* Somebody needs a cold shower! ;)[/carrying Official Moderator Hose] ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/48 "2001-10-01T23:42:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \* > **The impression put across was that girlfriends who don’t give head are bad girlfriends.** Well, of course not. Eunuchs need love too, y’know… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/49 "2001-10-01T23:51:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Czarcasm** _ > > [carrying Official Moderator Hose] Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, big fella! 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/50 "2001-10-02T00:38:02Z")
Now that I’ve read this thread, when I get married, I’m putting an oral sex clause in the vows. “To have and to hold and to blow” sounds about right. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/51 "2001-10-02T00:40:33Z")
And, while I certainly don’t condone infidelity, isn’t the bride in the OP just asking for her husband to cheat on her? If he’s not getting blow jobs from home, he’s probably going to find somewhere else to get them. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/52 "2001-10-02T00:45:38Z")
Out of curiosity, is the bride-to-be that gal from some time back who informed us all (via jarproxy) that all women fool around with each other because that’s not really sex? If not, perhaps they should get together. ---
**Author:** ![blahblahblahblah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@blahblahblahblah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blahblahblahblah)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/53 "2001-10-02T01:17:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > And whaddaya know, I discovered that A) it really is tremendous fun to watch a guy’s eyeballs roll back in his head; B) The POWER, my God, it’s intoxicating! C) I actually enjoy doing it; and D) I’m quite good at it. > \*\* I so agree with Geobabe. And the best part is taking every drop. Gun, so true isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/54 "2001-10-02T01:21:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > **And, while I certainly don’t condone infidelity, isn’t the bride in the OP just asking for her husband to cheat on her?** I think that’s usually filed under ‘irreconcilable differences.’ ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/55 "2001-10-02T01:31:31Z")
Kids these days! (Grumble) When I was but a youth, I was drinking and telling lies with a few cronies, and an uncle of mine, much admired by myself, he had been places and had breakfast in hotels. That passed for worldly sophistication in Waco My cousin G.W. was grousing a bit, there were things she just wouldn’t do (or at least not with him, but thats a different story) My uncle slipped down another bourbon, smiled to us all and said “Never complain, never insist. Simply nod in an understanding fashion and say 'You’re right, dear, whatever you like. Besides, your mother would be shocked if she knew…” Instant slut. Guaranteed. ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/56 "2001-10-02T02:18:14Z")
> [@](#): > > **Any suggestions on how to improve my performance would be greatly appreciated.** Place one hand around the base of his guy bits. This one little move gives you the control and prevents him from thrusting too far. He’s not going to complain - he’s more interested in what you’re doing to the tip (the word of the day is glans). Use your tongue there, especially at that little ridge place. You can try the altoid thing. My guy was amused by the sensation after the blow job, but it really didn’t change the already mind-blowing oral sex I gave him. But aside from the technical advice, just be enthusiastic. Blow jobs are kinda like tomatoes - they’re an aquired taste. That said, I wish my guy would be more willing to go down on me. He complains that his jaw muscles wear out too quickly. _Sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/57 "2001-10-02T03:45:16Z")
I really like oral sex. Actually, I prefer to give than get. 🙂 It all makes me quite horny. Now, if only my damn boyfriend would be around more often… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/58 "2001-10-02T04:20:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Zette, wasn’t it you who had a thread a while back about “Bonus Blowjob Sunday”? I was talking with a friend of mine one time, a married man who was bemoaning his lack of a sex life, and I was telling him about her strategy, which was IIRC (and correct me if I’m wrong) that she made a list of things she wanted done, and if her husband got any of those things done, he got a blowjob on Sunday, and consequently, the list was getting awfully short. Yes, that was me alright. It works like a charm. The trick is: you don’t deny it any other time, but you GUARANTEE it on that Sunday- if a chore is checked off, then come hell or high water, he gets a blow job. (And a damned good one, too) He’s very excited, in fact, because I just made another chore list with like 10 projects on it. Talk about a win/win! Zette ---
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/59 "2001-10-02T04:28:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Hoqw can anyone not love giving head? I totally dig having an engorged schlong in my mouth, listening to the happy moans of the BF as I please him. There’s such a great connection when you go down on a guy. > > I also am totally into rimming, but only after a thorough shower. Not a lot of guys will do it, but I have never had a guy turn it down! so… gobear… How YOU doing?? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810/60 "2001-10-02T05:39:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Bird \* > \*\*I really like oral sex. Actually, I prefer to give than get. \*\* (Here goes an admission that will probably get my ‘guy rights’ suspended for a while, if not actually revoked…) “Me, too.” I mean, bj’s are cool and all, but I really enjoy being the one who _causes_ the Grand Mal Big O in her. Seeing her fingers clawing the sheets while she spasms and screams and… Um, what was the question? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-n-dirty-oral-sex-ranting/84810.md?page=4)